transabled.org

But what if you attempt to kill yourself, and succeed? Or what if you injure yourself in a way you don’t want?

The more I look at this issue, the more I’m convinced that DIY is the only solution. Except what if you end up killing yourself? Or what if you injure yourself in a way that you didn’t intend?

*sigh*

Still, a DIY attempt is more likely to get you the help you need than a suicide attempt. Because you just might succeed.

I don’t think that an attempt to kill oneself is the answer, for exactly the reasons cited: the best case is that one succeeds in the attempt, in which case one still hasn’t achieved one’s desired goal (although at that point it no longer matters); the far more likely outcome is that the attempt will fail, only resulting in being further misdiagnosed as Depression NOS with Suicidal Ideations (giving them something else to ‘treat’ while ignoring the real problem), likely carrying the side-effect of eliminating any (slim as it is already) chance of having one taken seriously about the underlying condition and need.

I tend to agree with Claire’s point, that DIY attempts to achieve the body condition that we need might be the ONLY solution. There is the unlikely possibility that the attempt succeeds, in which case the immediate problem is solved, leaving the residual condemnation from the MH community; however, it (a) gets their attention, and (b) can show that once we’ve achieved our goals, we ARE happier and better adjusted people. At the other end of the spectrum, there is the possibility of the attempt resulting in death, which is somewhat inconvenient, but still solves the immediate problem - although it does little to promote awareness of, or support for, transabled people in general. In between, there are myriad possibilities for injuries other than the intended result which, while inconvenient, would force more awareness of the transabled phenomenon in general (although, on the down side, would likely put the attempter in a position of being unable to try again).

I’m still able to drag myself through each day, finding support through communities such as this one (which are far too rare, I might add - and most tend to be counterproductive by associating us with sexual fetishes, rather than fundamental aspects of our being). That said, with each passing day, the time comes closer where the need to have my body corrected eventually outweighs the survival instinct, and I’m willing to face the near-certainty of death to make the attempt to correct my own body.

I’m not about to go and commit suicide. Stupid and dangerous way to cry for help ;)

And I’m not about to go DYI, because no method I know of at this point would be safe enough to ensure it works but doesn’t create other issues. I don’t really care if a DYI method risks killing me, that’s a risk I’d be willing to take. But I’d hate to miss and destroy my kidneys, for instance.

Kyla, you’ve made a mention of sexual fetish vs fundamental part of our being. Thanks for that, I’ll have to chew on this and write something else :)

While I see nothing inherently wrong with someone who has peculiar sexual fetishes, and will defend their right to have them, I don’t see clouding the issue of transability with fetishism as doing any good for anyone.

On a parallel note, transsexuals still face discrimination in countless forms, and we are mostly unprotected against it here in the US, because our condition is mistakenly viewed as a dangerous and threatening form of sexual deviance; it is extremely frustrating to see transsexuality explicitly listed in the Americans with Disabilities Act as a condition which employers are not required to provide accomodation (some suggest that transsexuality is not a disability, and therefore we don’t need accomodation - but one begins to see the problem when a transwoman needs to use the restroom, and is barred from using the appropriate facilities because we are perceived as a sexually deviant threat to the other women in the workplace).

How does this relate to transability? The point is that when there is a condition associated with sexual fetish (’paraphilia’), it gives society justification (rightly or not) to marginalise us and discriminate against us - and to ignore the issue that needs to be addressed. The condition of being transabled with the need to have an amputation was long called ‘apotemnophilia’, which is classified as an unhealthy paraphilic sexual fetish. Only recently has the term BIID been coined, to distinguish us from those for whom the desire is sexual in nature.