Home / Thoughts / Other's Thoughts / Sometimes it feels good to move your body
Sometimes it feels good to move your body
Written by Claire on Wednesday, March 28, 2007
I work out at the gym a few times a week. When I first started, I really enjoyed it. Then my current BIID attack kicked in, and since then it’s been a chore.
When I’m working out on the leg machines, it causes some distress as I realize that I couldn’t do this if I were paralyzed. With every push on the leg press I am reminded that I’m not a para. And I have to avoid most of the arm machines entirely because of a shoulder injury, but I would like to work on them to build up my strength for wheeling. Every time I pass one by on the circuit I’m reminded of wheeling. (Yes, it’s an obsession). About the only machines that I feel okay with are the ones that work your abs.
Exercise can feel good
I don’t just work on the machines during my workout, I also do aerobics. I have the same kind of reaction, although of lesser intensity, to movements that require a lot of leg strength or arm movements that I have to forego because it’s causing pain. If I’ve been working out with particular intensity, I sometimes get an endorphin rush. Endorphins are natural hormones that the brain produces in response to physical stress in order to block pain. They are structurally similar to morphine, and an endorphin rush can feel great. An endorphin rush alone can’t make me feel good about exercising when I’m thinking about how my legs are not supposed to be able to do this (which is most of the time). But if the right combination of circumstances come together, moving my body can feel very good indeed. The first requirement is the endorphin rush, usually near the end of a particularly good workout. Then, the music has to be awesome, one of my favorite songs, with just the right tempo and beat. And we have to be doing a movement that is fun, not too hard physically on the legs, nor painful on the arms, but requiring some concentration and coordination to accomplish gracefully. If those three things come together, which they do every once in a great while, it feels great to move my body and I can revel in its strength and ability.
Unfortunately, the feeling is short-lived, just a minute or two. It always leaves me wondering why I can’t appreciate my body’s ability more often. I’m reminded that objectively, a strong, healthy body is a good thing. But the fact is, this exercise "rush" doesn’t quite feel as good the calm peace I feel when wheeling around in a wheelchair, and all things considered, I’d rather wheel.
[tags]Paralyzed, Wheelchair, Transabled, BIID, Exercise[/tags]This entry appears in Claire's Thoughts, Other's Thoughts, Thoughts. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.
You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.
One Comment
Post your comments
© transabled.org - 1994-2010 - All Rights Reserved.
1 On 28 March, 2007, jim said:
My daily endorphin “rush” is my intoxicant. I run probably 15 to 20 miles a week and bike 45 to 60. At least five times a week. I jump rope and lift weights on the off days. And I must do it first thing in the morning.
At different periods of my pretending years, I’ve been able to get 2 to 3 “pushes” of 2 miles in while I’m in my wheelchair too. When I lived in Atlanta there was this mall I’d go to. And when I lived in Atlanta I was in the Peachtree Road Race 13 times. One of the best field of wheelchair racers in the world. I always watched their start with envy. One year the temporarily able bodied brother of one of the world class wheelchair racers (Scott Hollenbach)raced in a wheelchair. He didn’t do so good.
I’m “addicted” to that daily endorphin “rush.” I find it helps my confusions, contradictions and obsessions a great deal, because I get so relaxed and my mind gets so clear.
At times, my transabledness gets me so depressed and I wonder if its worth living this way anymore. Well, with my exercise addiction I’ll probably live a long time. Hopefully I can figure this out before I’m gone!
Ever seen a Maria Serrao tape?