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Home / Thoughts / Sean's Thoughts / Sooner or later?

Sooner or later?

Written by Sean on Monday, June 27, 2005

So, for a while now I’ve been thinking that acquiring an SCI is the way to go for me. I’ve swung back and forth on that "decision", thinking for a while that injury is not the way to go. Then thinking that it is the way to go. I’ve finally settled for wanting the path of SCI. And I want it rather sooner than later.

For the longest time I thought that becoming a paraplegic would not cure/heal the causes of being transabled. In fact, I still think that way. Transability is an issue that probably cannot be "solved" by an external solution. An external solution may address topics such as "self-image", but it cannot really remove the root "problem" (and I use the word problem for lack of a better word).

I still don’t think that injury is the way to go for a majority of transabled who haven’t thought about the implications, motivations, and general reasons for becoming a para (or an amputee). Sure, I’ve been told time and again "yeah, I’ve thought about it". But the thoughts seem to beging and end with "I wanna be disabled". And that is just not enough.

So, I still don’t think it would heal the root cause of my transability, but I think it would allow me to go forward, rather than keep going in circles.

But now that I’ve reached that point, I would rather become a para sooner rather than later. Heck, what a waste of time it would be if I became a para in my 50’s, or 60’s. Perhaps it would be good, but I’d rather have it now. Some will yell that I’m wanting instant gratification. But I can hardly say that 30+ years in waiting is instant gratification. Because that’s how long I’ve been transabled.

I can’t abide the thought of waiting, and waiting and waiting some more.

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