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So close, and yet…

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Written by Sean on Sunday, May 29, 2005

Recently someone posted a comment explaining how they managed to (long term, though temporarily) become a para. I had to remove the explanation, as I can’t risk the liability (as explained elsewhere). But my mind’s been going quite a bit since. Did a little bit of research that told me that would work. And you can well imagine where that leaves me.

The thing is, I really cannot go forward with it at this point. If my situation on the home front was different, I probably would become more active at making it happen. As it is, my fiancee would have a fit, to put it mildly. While she (mostly) accepts my wheeling and the fact I’m transabled, she wouldn’t want me actually physically disabled. I certainly can’t ask for her help ahead of time, and I couldn’t explain it to her after the fact. So, it’s filed for future reference.

In the meantime, this person’s comment on another forum rings true and I’m sure we ought to pay attention to what is said:

For now let me say this… it’s a total pain in the ASS! I know it sounds all romantic or something, and many of you feel like you were meant to be in a chair or some such nonsense. What I can say to that is keep on pretending if you enjoy it, but do NOT seek a way to make it real. It’s annoying, inconvenient, painful (yes, real pain even though I didn’t have any tactile sensation) and… did I mention a pain in the ass?*

Nothing new for me there. Intelectually I understand all that. Heck, I’ve lived it through my late spouse. I’ve encountered enough paras through my work that I understand the ins-and-outs. And I must admit that I used to agree with those comments until a few years ago. Now, I still agree, but I’ve come to think that if, and it’s a big if, one has done the research, has done a "real life test", and gets it more than just pretending by going to the movies or restaurant once in a great while, and doesn’t see it as glamorous, in other words understands as much as is possible without having lived it, then, and only then, I think that realisation may be a way of finding some level of emotional peace (if not physical).

Quoted from a Yahoo! Group.

 

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About Sean

Sean is transabled. His body image is that of an L2 paraplegic. He has been living pretty much 100% of his public life from a wheelchair for the last decade, but hasn't found peace of mind (and is unlikely to until he does become a para).