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Home / Thoughts / Sean's Thoughts / September 25, 1997

September 25, 1997

Written by Sean on Thursday, September 25, 1997

I met with a paraplegic woman who’d recently learned about wannabes in the Fall of ‘96. We talked about many things, but the one that I just remembered was a question she asked me: What did I want or expect out of my encounters with her? With her being a paraplegic was the real question. We’d exchanged a fair amount of mail, and we had a great communication going on, as pen-pals, but being face to face was strained.

At the time, I couldn’t answer her question. I didn’t know. Not being especially attracted to PWD, I couldn’t claim a particular interest there. I liked her but it wasn’t because, nor despite her chair. Now, I realize what I would have gained out of it. Had she been able to accept me and my chair, it is a feeling of validation I was hoping for.

Not being overly self-confident, having someone with a disability accept me would have meant the world to me at the time. I’ve now experienced spending time with a paraplegic that totally accepts me, and it was one of the most important things I first noticed, how validated in using my chair it made me feel. Now, I don’t even think about it, because I believe I’ve come passed that stage. It feels good.

Were I to meet E. again, I could tell her that I don’t really expect anything else than good chats, good times and mutual enjoyment. And to be able to forget one another’s hardware.

{mospagebreak}

Anger. We all have it. PWD and TAB alike. Anger not so much at the cause of the injury or wannabe feelings, but much more towards the reaction society has towards disabilities and/or our feelings.