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Home / Thoughts / Sean's Thoughts / Proof in the pudding

Proof in the pudding

Written by Sean on Sunday, October 23, 2005

Today was a bit of a "the proof is in the pudding" kinda day for me. My depression lifted, just a wee bit, but the wannabe feelings are just as strong as they’ve been. So this confirms for me the fact that while depression and transability sometime overlap and aggravate one another, they are not one and the same.

Got up entirely too early this morning, thanks to my dog barking. Then I crawled under a duvet on the couch in the lounge, with a book, and tried to keep warm. My other dog cuddled up, on her back, four legs in the air, hedonist animal that she is. Kept my feet warmish. It was a beautiful and sunny day, which is always good. It was quite cold, supposed to be aiming towards summer here, but really, it’s still too cold at night, more winter-like.

‘Round noonish (isn’t that redundant?) I got going. I managed to do a few house chores, then got on the computer and started a project I needed to start a long time ago. Managed to solve a few technical problems that were making me pull my hair out. Juggled a couple other things, and I feel I actually accomplished some good stuff. Which is more than I can say I feel I’ve done lately.

And while I went to the corner store, I realised that it was a beautiful late afternoon, sun on the hills, clear, a bit cool, crisp air. And I didn’t feel quite as much as crawling under a rock and staying there until I rot anymore. So yeah, depression did lift a little bit. I’m not sure how long it’ll last, but I’m enjoying it and taking it for as long as it’ll last.

But the need to be a para is still there, just as strong as it’s been lately. And if anything, the veil of depression lifted, feels like I’m thinking much more clearly about the transability thing.

On a side note, while I was writing this, we experienced an earthquake (one of the 14,000 in the country every year!). I get somewhat queasy when an earthquake hits. Most are barely felt. This one lasted for a couple minutes, very gently. The first 15 or so seconds were more of a rumble. But I could tell that even after the rumble things were moving a bit. You see, sitting in a wheelchair without wheel locks, an earthquake kinda makes you wobble back and forth a bit! Interesting experience, I’m glad it wasn’t a "serious" one.