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Parking and BIID
Written by Sean on Friday, July 10, 2009
Today, I’m discussing a rather controversial topic! One that raises heated arguments from most people with (physical) disabilities. One that causes guilt in many people with BIID. And it isn’t a topic that has one final answer, I don’t think. It depends on too many factors. The topic is "disability parking spaces".
Disability parking spaces have been mentionned a few times here and there on the site, but I don’t believe we’ve actually had a whole post dedicated to it entirely.
So, the big question:
Should people with Body Identity Integrity Disorder be allowed to use parking spaces reserved for people with disabilities?
My answer? "It depends".
And it’s not a cop-out answer. It does depend. For example, I don’t think it would be appropriate for someone who’s flavour of BIID makes them need to be deaf. That seems pretty obvious. Ok, let’s move on then.
Don’t use fake parking permits!
I use disability parking spaces. I have a parking permit. It is not a fake, it is a genuine parking permit. Just like Chloe’s is valid, or Claire’s. There might be other out there who have BIID and genuine parking permits. By genuine I mean that they were obtained through the proper channels and the doctor who signed off on the form is fully aware of BIID. This is a case where a medical doctor, being aware of an individual’s condition, decided that the use of a disability parking space was warranted.
Some might argue that the doctors behaved badly by signing off the form. I would argue that someone who uses a wheelchair full time, or near full time, whatever the reason, has more need of disability spaces than a LOT of the elderly who have parking placards. Age, last I checked, was not a de facto disability. So one might suggest that instead of getting angry at people with BIID using parking spaces, advocate to reduce the number of "oldies" who get handed parking permits almost like popcorn! Well, we’re told that we’re using parking spots that are in high demand. It would make sense to reduce the demand by curbing the distribution to people who don’t "really" need them.
Oompf! Yes, I’m making a strong statement about "need". Because the entire debate is about need, isn’t it? Who needs the space most?
Some elderly people have indeed ambulatory problems. And they need to limit the distance they walk. On that basis, they need a disability parking space. Not because they are old, but because they have problems walking. Not all old people have problems walking. So not all old people have a need for the disability parking space.
I use a wheelchair all day, every day. I don’t require to be parked close to the entrance. But I do require a wider parking space so I can get my wheelchair in and out of the car. I need the disability space because without it, I cannot use my wheelchair. And I need my wheelchair to function.
It has been suggested by some people with disabilities that as I am physically able to walk, I should park in a regular space, and walk to the trunk where I should stow my wheelchair, then sit in the chair. This doesn’t seem like such a bad idea at first glance. They even said that many people with conditions such as multiple sclerosis can, and do, do that. The thing is, I could physicall do that, yes. Emotionally, it would rip me apart. The mere idea of doing that makes me shaky.
Some say that people who became paralysed through accident never asked to need a wheelchair, hence disability spaces, and that means they have a "real" need, whereas because I "choose" to use a wheelchair, I don’t have a real need. But I never chose to feel the way I do. I did not CHOSE to have BIID. I did not wake up, one cheery morning and decide that it would be fun to use a wheelchair, to feel constant anguish, etc. This was never a choice. The only difference here is that their spine was damaged, and mine isn’t. But we both need a wheelchair.
What it really comes down to is a question of validity: Is BIID a valid condition or not?
That’s the real issue, isn’t it? I said earlier that the debate was about need. But looking at "need" is not sufficient. We can argue for a long time that one condition needs something more than another. If BIID were perceived as a valid condition, there would not be any arguments. There’s no argument that a double leg amputee needs disability parking. There’s no argument someone with chronic heart failure needs disability parking.
There you have it, from one question to another. How do we make people understand that BIID is indeed a valid condition?
Tags: BIID, Body Integrity Identity Disorder, Disability, Need, Parking, Validity
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26 Comments
I can certainly see the arguments both ways but I’ve always felt that when I’m in my wheelchair then I need the blue badge (BB) space as much as any other wheelchair user.
I don’t have a BB (I am considering talking to the doctor about getting one) and would never park in a BB space without a badge.
I did it once at a supermarket, just parked up then went to customer service on the way in and appologised for not having my badge with me, they wrote down my numberplate and passed it on to security. Besides the hassle of speaking to them about the car before I went shopping I didn’t like leaving the car there without a badge. I complain/feel aggrieved when others do that so why was I any better, even when I was there in my wheelchair. I won’t do it again.
I think people with BIID, with a mobility-affecting manifestation, have as much need for a BB as many people with other disabilities who do have legitimate badges. But for those of us without badges, we need to go through the proper channels to get a legitimate badge before we use the spaces.
During a recent stint on crutches due to an injury, my doctor gave me a temporary parking permit.
Strangely, in the two weeks or so when my mobility was limited, I only needed to use the brown badge once. Other times I found a place close enough.
Of course, being on crutches is not the same as hauling a chair out of the car.
I can see why I might be entitled to a blue badge along the wheelchair user with BIID line. I’m just not sure I could live with the guilt, because having driven people around with actual mobility problems (w/c users all) who couldn’t find a space for love nor money, even with a blue badge, I simply can’t justify it ethically to myself at the moment.
I don’t how anyone has managed to get a badge openly with BIID alone. That would never happen in the UK, at least not as things stand.
Until quite recently I had never used a blue space. I always parked in a regular space and dragged my braced leg into the stores. But with the recent aquisition of the Barracuda Dream Machine I have sometimes parked on blue spaces. On occasions when I haven’t there have been some embarrassing moments (see earlier advenure posts).
BUT, when using a blue space I always make sure there are lots of others free around me.
Like Beth I have been to customer service to explain that I forgot my badge that I left in my partner’s car and I have sometimes placed a notice saying “badge pending”. Obviously that cannot go on for ever.
Qualifications for badges vary from country to country; I believe in the UK someone with an amputated little finger can obtain one. I am considering trying for a badge hoping that my now very visable dystonia will qualify in itself especially as it’s progressed to a leg. As GPs know almost as much about dystonia as they do BIID, I’m expecting to pass. But if I don’t I will still have to, on occasions, use a blue space but only if there are lots available.
My brain says I’m disabled so I must be, I have to be, I am!
I am LMAO. Why in the world would you be “shaky” and torn apart emotionally due to pulling a wheelchair out of a trunk? Wow, if things are that bad, do us all a favor and take the bus. I’d hate to see how you react in a crisis situation like a collision or near collision.
Jim
And by the way, if you want to live like a paraplegic, go break your spine sissy.
Jim
I just looked up how to qualify for a disability parking permit in CO, really easy… except for the _cannot_ part… But, all you need is a doctor signature and you’re good! So, bugging ye olde doctor is definitely an idea (if said doctor agrees with your pretending…).
Sorry about the double post, but, wouldn’t BIID count (in some cases, of course) as “ability to walk is severely limited due to a… neurological… condition”
10 On 10 July, 2009, Sean said:
@Jim I wonder what good it does to call us “sissy”. It doesn’t look particularly conducive to a positive exchange. Perhaps you don’t really wish to understand what BIID means and is. There are many people who get upset at people with BIID, without taking the time or energy to listen to what we have to say.
As for “going to break my spine”, I wish that I could. I’ve spoken at length of the logistical difficulties of it. Not that I expect you to accept that.
Sean, the fact that you comprehend your desire to live like a paraplegic shows your ability to be rational. You want the attention, nothing more.
As for the logistics of breaking your spine; a few simple swings of an axe will surely do the trick. Find one of your misunderstood friends and have them start swinging! You in turn can help them meet their goals as well, Paul Bunyan. I’m sure you can pay a doctor in a third world country to do it. Where there’s a will there’s a way. If not, then yes Sean, you are a sissy.
I ask again, why would you be emotionally shaken? LMAO .
12 On 10 July, 2009, Sean said:
@Jim, yes, I am rational. People who have BIID are not irrational, not deluded, not psychotic. Studies show this. It is NOT about attention. I couldn’t give a fuck about the attention. Not that you’ll believe me.
There is, in fact, no surgeons to be found that will do it. Not that I have found after asking over 500 of them in Asia and South America. There are surgeons who will amputate, but not paralyse.
As for swinging an axe, yeah, it would paralyse us, and probably also kill us. You might think that would be a good outcome, getting rid of weirdos, but that’s not what we’re after.
Also, regarding the axe suggestion… So few people realize that trying to create a spinal cord injury in this manner is more likely to be lethal than to achieve the desired affect.
So basically, to suggest such a thing would be to suggest involuntary manslaughter which, by your attitude, seems perfectly reasonable.
Who’s the irrational one now?
Lethal in what way, Gordo? What vital organs are located at the L2-L3 region? A direct strike will do the trick. Commit the act close to a trauma center. “Put your money where your mouth is” as they say. But the truth is, you don’t want to be truly paralyzed at all.
You don’t need to strike a vital organ to die. All you need to do is nick the wrong artery.
Why do you think wrist-slitting is a preferred suicide method? The hand isn’t a vital organ. But a slashed artery would lead to death.
Seriously… Pick up a biology textbook or something.
17 On 10 July, 2009, Sean said:
@Jim using an axe. to have enough force to actually damage the spine, you need a good swing. With such a swing, you are unlikely to be able to stop the swing. The axe would travel through the body. Damaging kidneys, stomach, maybe the liver. It is not directly lethal, but would cause a heck of a lot of damage. And yes, the person swinging the axe can be prosecuted and jailed, even if you don’t die, even if you fill out forms that say they aren’t responsible, that they acted on your request, etc.
A drill would provide more control. But it would also damage the spinal arteries. Bleeding out is not something you want, even if you’re close to a trauma centre. And there’s still the issue of legal prosecution against whomever assists.
I *did* attempt paralysis once, tried to break my back. It didn’t work. It is not that easy. Trust me, if it was that straight forward I would have done it several years ago.
Ignore the troll and it might go away. This guy wants to condemn, not open a discussion.
19 On 11 July, 2009, Sean said:
@Becs, yes, he’s a troll and he’s not interested in actually listening. But other silent people might come by with some level of anger, which I can understand, and similar feeling to him, but then read on and realise that perhaps their feelings are off the mark and open their mind.
I would have to agree that the answer to this question, like so many in life, is “It depends”.
I make the choice regarding which kind of parking to use on an individual basis each and every time. It depends on multiple factors. However, I’ve done it enough by now that the decision is made almost instantaneously with very little brain power.
Today there was an extra little twist in that I was taking a rather new friend to a physician appointment, on account of the car crash she’d had earlier in the week. She has physical impairments from birth, and it did cross my mind that she might have an opinion on my use of parking spaces because of that (though she’s not a wheelchair user). She knows all about my BIID. I decided to do what I would normally do, without being concerned what she might think.
There were only two disability parking spots at the physician’s office, neither of which were in use. I felt that it was quite possible that more than one other person might arrive while we were there, needing such a spot. Moreover, the space next to one of them had more room on the driver’s side in any case, making it easier for me.
I was surprised that there was really no provision to park a wheelchair inside the waiting room. I did my best to keep out of people’s way. As we were leaving, another woman in a wheelchair came in. We escaped the situation of there being two wheelchairs in there together by just a few seconds. It would have been quite tricky!
After my friend’s appointment, we went out to lunch. There were plenty of disability parking spots at the restaurant, none in use; it was towards the end of lunchtime; and parking in a regular space would have meant some uphill wheeling. In this case I took a disability spot. I felt very confident that I would not be taking anything away from somebody with greater need.
My friend made no comment about my parking in either case, so I brought up the issue with her after lunch. Her attitude is that I need to do whatever I need to do to handle my BIID; end of story.
@L. I think you have it exactly right about a neurological condition. I know my GP recognises that; though it is possible that her decision to sign off on my permit may have been influenced by my physical stuff too.
Claire has expressed our situation rather beautifully: “I don’t pretend to be, but AM, truly, someone who has a neurological condition that makes walking difficult.”
Yes, “troll” is always the answer! LOL
I guess you’re correct, I don’t understand you’re condition. Thats because it makes no sense and you seem intelligent enough to stand back and say “What the fuck am I thinking?” to yourself and move on.
The drill would work and as long as you didn’t snitch no one would be prosecuted. Do it.
“and parking in a regular space would have meant some uphill wheeling” Welcome to paraplegia reality Chloe. What gives you the right to take those spaces from legitimate persons with disabilities? Here’s a thought, WALK up hill. True paraplegics don’t have that choice.
22 On 11 July, 2009, Sean said:
@Jim, the bit you seem to be missing is that this is an actual medical condition over which we have no control. We did not chose to feel this way. We did not ask to feel this way. Moving on is not an option. Would you tell a transsexual that they should realise that getting their dangly bit chopped off is not right and they should move on? Perhaps you would. But if you wouldn’t, then, you could understand the position we find ourselves in.
@Jim. If you’d taken the trouble to read what I actually wrote, you would have noted that I did NOT take away a parking space from anybody else. I am perplexed how you could have understood the opposite from what I wrote.
I also alluded to the fact that I have physical disabilities unrelated to my BIID. Yes, I absolutely DO understand what it’s like to have an unwanted disability that prevents me from doing things I used to enjoy, and that prevents me from doing normal every day tasks that able bodied people may take for granted.
Do I understand correctly that you are asserting that neurological conditions are not legitimate disabilities?
@Jim - I believe that clair is right on. Let me explain… Peaople who suffer with BIID are disabled - in the sense that the brain is telling them that having the ability to walk or to have certain limbs still atatched is not right. Think about that for a minute… we are all brought up to not do things that are not right - and for those of us with BIID - whatever manifestation we have of it - our brains are telling us that certain abilities (such as walking) are not right or normal - things such as using a wheelchair, crutches, casts and anything else helps us to mitigate those horrible feelings (at leaste for me). We are not at all in it for the attention or the parking or disability benefits - we are in it because it’s the way we are and we can’t change it (god knows we wish we were not this way) Just like a paraplegic can’t change the fact that they cant walk. Life deals all of us a certain deck of cards - the crappy thing is we don’t get a choice of what those cards are, (can’t stack the deck) thus, only choice we have is to play the cards the best we can and hope for the best.
This is a classic case of “If I have to explain you wouldn’t understand.”
Jim, I’m sorry that you came to us in such pain. Be it physical, psychological, or spiritual I hope you find a site, or better yet, some real-life support, to pull you through. Wishing you the best on your quest for peace.
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1 On 10 July, 2009, Sophie said:
It is a hard topic to discuss. I’ve always taken the line that I don’t use a mobility park if my doctor says I don’t need one…it’s a good thing I like wheeling longer distances than I could ever walk.