transabled.org

Sean, you are the owner and moderator here, you can just refuse the useless and hurtful comments the right to post. And, IMO, you should do just that.
I know you still have to see them to refuse them, but at least take the small modicum of satisfaction available from refusing their angst from being seen on your site.

Those of us who are here in good faith, who NEED this site, all truly appreciate what you do for us by running it. Thank you.

@Ellen, yes, i could block out the comments, but I’ve had a long held policy that I would only moderate the really offensive posts. I don’t want to be accused of keeping things “one sided”. So I let these things get through. They hurt, but ultimately it is the commenters who show themselves being asses (except when I crack and get down to their level of vulgarity).

I have to admit that some of the offensive stuff just cracks me up laughing. I had quite the fit of giggles when I read “You are all insane.” Then, when I explained that my wife is accepting and compassionate about my BIID, the same commenter issued the declaration that she must also be insane! By the same logic I must be insane because I am accepting and compassionate about my wife’s bipolar disorder.

As far as I’m concerned you can keep the offensive stuff coming through, Sean. Court jesters serve the useful purpose of reminding us just how amusingly juvenile and silly some people can be.

Those people don’t see us as human.

It sounds overly simplistic but I am convinced that is the case.

They certainly don’t treat us like we’re human.

Wow, just…wow. I have so much to say. I am not BIID but I have other problems. I, and legitimately, you can agree, I hope, of course thought the usual litany of insults about you. I can’t say I am a long time lurker, but I am a fast reader with insomnia and I feel pretty safe to say that I have probably read about half of this and many other articles online in the past few days, as well as watching docs. I really can’t identify with the bodies you need, I am a US resident who lives on an island about a block away from the beach..the winter is killing me with seasonal affect and not being able to surf with my husband everyday, also not being able to get my sunshine. I do, however, have a tanning bed at my house, and were it not for the ridiculous cold at this time of year, I would tan up to 40 minutes a day. I know I am obsessed with tanning and I know it is unhealthy and can cause cancer..is this too shallow a parallel? I am trying to find a similarity but I absolutely do not go in for the big fake boob thing that people are constantly trying to press on me so I need to use the tanning. I have so much more to say..Including the fact that I used to be a fetish model and work in a fetish club (specialized in tan, foot worship, trampling, verbal humiliation) so I could never imagination not having feet to trample, I fetishize my own feet! I do have an ex-friend who had NF (as does my husband) and had a left AKA. I think he is the reason why I was initially skeptical of you guys, this guy is a real dick, excuse my language, for various reasons..He did many things to get attention while just wearing a brace and the attention was for all the wrong reasons (basically putting his bad leg out to trip, and then hit on chicks or for financial reasons..long story) Anyhow, it got to the point where hub and I just could not go out with this guy because it was just an exercise in attention whoredom and it was just tiring. Sorry for the convoluted post and I would love to hear any thoughts. Oh and sorry, one last thing, I watched “Quid Quo Pro” and I can’t find the post now but someone mentioned there was no “hierarchy” in your community..I was surprised..in our fetish club there was definitely a hierarchy and if you weren’t a “lifestyle” (wannabe?) then you were pretty much treated poorly as just a “devotee”? type. Like the subs/switches/Doms… Oh and only through your postings I did think the wannabes were represented poorly, from what I know, you guys would never just abruptly stand up from a wheelchair and carry it up the stairs, at least I hope not, because that would be a bit offensive to someone with no choice in the matter. Oh and freaky mouth breather chick who was way to excited..also, noticed Fiona never tried to keep her legs still..is this not odd for a trans para? Anyhow, thank you for at least reading my post, I appreciate it and am trying to and hopefully coming to appreciate you.

Oh, so sorry in reading that over, for the comma surplus, that I always have, but I usually do at least have a paragraph break. Sorry, had a lot to say. It’s hard for us non trans to post here too!

I’m so glad to find people who are experiencing this condition. I had no idea it was a real disorder with numerous people going through this. My desire to be a wheelchair user was renewed after seeing Chloe’s story. I’ve learned so much since that time. I’ve never done any pretending, but have a strong desire to. Should I go out of town and experiment? Perhaps going through the experience would help aleviate some frustrations.

@Sarah – I know the feeling. I found this site a few years ago and read as much as I could before finally commenting in the last few weeks. Welcome. You’re not alone. I know that sounds cliche, but I have to say it to myself every day just to keep it together.

Since you said you have a desire to be a wheelchair user, I’m curious to ask if there’s a specific condition. Parapelgia, amputation, MS, something else? Of course you don’t have to answer if you’re uncomfortable answering in public. I’m waffling between wanting to be a DAK amputee and a paraplegic – using a wheelchair in both cases – with most days the want being an amputee. So I’m always wanting to talk to other people with similar body image confusion.

Re: trying out using a wheelchair: I personally don’t call it pretending. Everybody has their reasons and are free to define themselves and what they do however they want. For me, I’m in my chair, and that’s how I get around. I’m *using* my wheelchair to alleviate a mental condition instead of a physical one – which is why most people use a chair.

As far as actually going out and using a chair: I highly recommend it if you think it’ll clear things up for you. However you do have to be careful, especially if there’s a chance you’ll run into somebody you know. I’m lucky in that I live in a big metropolitan area and I have a car, so on the weekends it’s easy for me to go way out to the suburbs where I don’t know anybody and wheel around museums and malls and other public areas. Because I’m not really “out of the closet” to anybody except the people on this site and my girlfriend, I put a lot of care and planning into where and when I’m going to use my chair. It’s very very limiting, especially for somebody like me who’s body image is of a DAK amputee who is confined to a wheelchair. Being able to use a wheelchair in public “pretending” to be a paraplegic last weekend was the most freeing and satisfying weekend I’ve had in a very long time. I finally felt “right.”

So if you can figure out where and how to use a wheelchair for an afternoon to alleviate frustrations and answer questions you didn’t know you needed to ask yourself, go for it. Your arms will probably be sore and you’ll have a new appreciation for the ADA (if you live in the US) but the only way to finally quell the frustrations and desires is to just go out and do it. We’re here for you. Good luck!

@ toomuchuv: Yes, there is a sort of hierarchy with us, but we don’t discriminate so strictly- at least not that I’ve ever seen. However, there was a group of us when I lived in Atlanta who got together for wheelchair outings, and I was given an email address for an interested party who didn’t want to get involved with us because we weren’t actual paras. Oh well…

Yeah, your friend with NF was a genuine dick. I like your phrase: “attention whoredom”. Very appropriate!

Thanks for the glimpse into the fetish club. When I lived in Baltimore I used to go to the Eagle and the Gallery (now closed). Occasional trips down to DC and Philadelphia as well. They (we) (I) were more the leather/S&M crowd. Again, if there was any hierarchy, it wasn’t blatant. Lots of fetish activity there.

BTW: No, none of us would fold our chairs and carry it up steps (we’d find a ramp…). Also funny that you point out Fiona’s restless legs. I noticed that, too. After I sit for a few minutes I lose consciousness of my legs and don’t move them for long periods. I wasn’t aware of that until I was transferring some old family VHS tapes to DVD and was fast-forwarding the video. Everything from the waist up was active, waist down looked like a still photo, and I was the only one without crossed legs. Strange…