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Home / Thoughts / Sean's Thoughts / March 11, 1998

March 11, 1998

Written by Sean on Wednesday, March 11, 1998

Time flies when you’re having fun… So many things to take care of, I’ve got a real life now and it is rather strange, though good… Wrote up the fifth part to my story, long overdue, as was this update.

I just learned that my wife disagrees and dislikes the expression people with disabilities (PWD). PC crap she said… It’s cumbersome, awkward, politically correct to the point of being ridiculous, it doesn’t impart any sense of personality or personhood. You can’t create a society attitudinal change with a label like that. Never knew she felt that way, a bit surprised I have to admit… Not sure what to do about it either…. Seems the most simple, efficient (the abbreviation that is) and less offending term. So for now, for lack of a better term, I’ll keep using it… Sorry Louise… :-/

I’ve been presenting the concept of wannabes a fair bit lately to PWD (here goes that word already…) who had no idea. Seems one of the concerns a lot of them share is how much is it related to sexuality, or a perversion of it.

Of course, I can’t talk for every wannabe, actually I probably can talk only for myself. But I would like to stress the fact that my wanting to be a paraplegic has nothing to do with any aspect of my sexuality nor of my libido. One thing I remember talking about is the fact that if I had an SCI (spinal cord injury) I would approach sex/lovemaking in a totally different manner. Penetration as I know it now probably would not be possible. But that doesn’t mean that intimacy would not be possible, not at all, just different. Still, with that in mind, sexual fantasies about how “good it would be” had I an SCI are kinda ludicrous…

{mospagebreak}

Some people like to compare wannabes to fetishists. Blerch. Given I don’t see it as sexually related, I can’t accept the fetish label either. But of course, I see that word, fetish/fetishist as rather negative, leaving an impression of deviance and perversity. I don’t need nor want this kind of negativity tagged on to me, not by you, not by me, not by *anyone*.

Now, something that actually is sexual for me is my interest in braces. However, while braces are used by some PWD, in my case I don’t relate it at all to my wannabeism. I see those braces more as a bondage toy than anything else. Of course, that’s when I myself wear the braces, or imagine myself wearing them. To see someone wearing braces doesn’t “do” anything for me. I seem to remember talking about this brace and bondage relation in a past thought of the moment… But then, I’m not a devotee, and perhaps one would see the braces in a different light.

And NO, my interest in braces or BDSM is not a fetish either… Perhaps question of semantic more than anything, but most of the “psychobablic” literature I’ve seen insists on the fact that one needs the object of fetish for sexual gratification. While I enjoy using my “toys” in sexual play, I don’t need them, far from that, as my wife can witness (along with a few past girlfriends… )