Blog > Thoughts > Sean's Thoughts > Leaking Thoughts
Leaking Thoughts
Written by Sean on Tuesday, June 21, 2005
I occasionally talk about things related to my transableism with my partner. It appears i’ve done too much of it as she is not reacting too well. But only a very small fraction of these thoughts go from brain to lips. In other words, I tell her very little of whatâ??s going on in my head, and itâ??s already too much for her to handle!
I feel stuck between a rock and a hard place. If I don’t discuss things, it’s no good for her as we must talk about important things. If I do mention it, then she doesn’t know if she can handle me being "miserable" all the time.
She said last night that she is sad about it, not regretfull of getting together. But I feel it is more than sadness on her part. To be fair it would be hard on a partner. But I cannot help it.
We were talking about something or other, and I mentionned housing accessibility. This was not a reference to my need to wheel, it was just that I believe in the need for accessibility for everyone. If she wants to read more into a reference to wheeling than there is, I cannot help that either. It does make my life much more complicated though.
And of the thousand times a week I think about it, I really don’t mention it all that often. In fact, I make it a point not to discsuss it, because of her reaction! And the less I *can* talk about it, the harder it gets.
This is just too difficult. One of those situations where I wish I was a para, like that there wouldn’t be any choice over the matter.
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