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Home / Thoughts / Sean's Thoughts / Lack of updates

Lack of updates

Written by Sean on Wednesday, December 14, 2005

If you are a regular visitor to my site, you’ll have noticed that it has been longer than usual between updates. Often, the delays happen when I feel I don’t have anything to say. Other times, they happen when I don’t particularly have the energy to take the time to write. This time, between a thorough lack of energy, and some uncertainty about a topic of discussion, we’ve ended up without an update. But here is something out of my decaying grey matter.

Forgive me Father, it has been almost two weeks since my last confession. Err…. I mean, yeah, it’s been almost two weeks since the last update. During that time, Sophie and I went to a nearby "big city" for a full day of wheeling for her. Her first real wheeling day. I think she thoroughly enjoyed it and learned a fair bit, despite two huge blisters on her thumbs! I’m glad I was there for her.

I couldn’t get enthused writing about the day, however. Somehow, I just couldn’t be bothered.

I seem not to be able to bother much about most stuff lately. Oh aye, sure sign of depression, isn’t it? It’s the season, Christmas has never been good to/for me. Well, it’s partly the season anyway.

It’s friends who aren’t giving feedback/responding to email, for whatever reasons. I’m not saying the reasons aren’t valid but it’s hard when several friends don’t respond to mail. Friends you trust. But then, perhaps it’s too much for people to deal with me being in the dumps, and me fighting my transabled feelings.

It’s dealing with a constant transabled attack for weeks and months on end.

It’s having problems in my relationship that aren’t getting resolved and we can’t seem to be able to even discuss.

It’s being bloody tired of it all, and seeing no light at the end of the tunnel. In fact, I don’t even see the end of the tunnel.

And so I trudge on, not living, surviving, more like. The show must go on, forgive the clown for not smiling too much.