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Home / Thoughts / Sean's Thoughts / January 26, 1998

January 26, 1998

Written by Sean on Monday, January 26, 1998

Been having a few rough times over the last few weeks… Wannabe feelings attacking me, as well as other things that aren’t quite the topic of this site, but that are so closely related in my eyes that I’ll mention them anyway… Have had an interest in crossdressing (not gender confused though) for a few years, without seriously exploring it, the chair thing being much more important to me.

So, I’ve been ripped apart between wanting to be a para, to know the actual physical feeling and also crossdressing. Sudden attacks springing on me almost out of control. And then, I thought, isn’t this the last and most extreme form of self denial? I can’t help but wonder why I want to change myself so drastically…

I have told many friends that it was pointless to change their hair color, or to curl their hair… But now, when I compare those things to wanting to totally change appearance by looking like a woman, or by being a paraplegic… Hmmm. Don’t know where that’s going to take me, I’ll let it simmer a while…