Blog > Thoughts > Sean's Thoughts > Is understanding really useful?
Is understanding really useful?
Written by Sean on Friday, August 12, 2005
During a discussion on a board, someone wondered "if the desire for attention has something to do with transabledness. You certanly do get that in the chair; plus a kind of shallow, generalized positive feeling from people." That led me to anser that I’m sure that a desire for attention is part of the cause for my transability. However, I question at this point how useful it is for me to understand the root causes of my transability.
It seems part of popular psychological belief that if you identify how you’ve developped your demons, you’re just a hop and a skip away from getting rid of those demons. I don’t believe that trueism anymore. I’ve done quite a bit of work on myself, whether assisted by shrinks, councillors, good friends, just on my own, or through this site. I’ve discovered a lot about what makes me tick, and about possible sources for how I came to be transabled.
The thing is my transability manifests itself differently now than it did ten years ago, and the origins of how I began to be transabled have very little to do with what it means for me today.
And were I to address the "root" causes of 30+ years ago, I don’t think it would make "it" go away. It has been too big a part of me for too long. There won’t be any easy fix. I am not 100% sure what the solution is to help me get off the emotional roller coaster. I believe that finally getting an SCI would go a long way towards that, but I’m not sure, and nobody can be sure.
While understanding the reasons I developped these transabled needs is important, it may just be interesting as an anecdotal bit of trivia, no more (though no less). A (very small) part of the puzzle in the end. While insights about how I came to be the way I am happen, I don’t think I’ll be focusing on trying to figure that out.
Note, however, that I don’t think I would be where I am now without having done the work I have in the past. In other words, I wouldn’t condone someone just giving up on trying to understand where their emotions are coming from. Paradoxically, while I believe that while this understanding of "the point of origin" will not heal me, I also believe that without this understanding there can be no healing, or peace, or whatever you want to call it :)
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