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In Response To An Email Calling Me Sick
Written by Sean on Monday, April 6, 2009
Over the years, I’ve been told I by various people that I was sick and needed help . Generally not in a very friendly tone. I always find it frustrating because there really isn’t any help available. Last week, I received another such note sent through my contact form.
The message said:
You psycho! You need help. Seriously sick and deranged. What kind of moron wants to be paralysed? Get professional help instead of whining.
It isn’t, in fact, the actual text of the message. The actual text was much longer, rambling, and FULL of obscenities. I started reading it, then skimmed the rest, and trashed it. No point responding to such an email. Especially that at the time I was feeling particularly bad.
As I said, this is not the first time, nor likely the last, that I get such a note.
Often these comments appear in the comments of an article about BIID in a "general" website, like newspaper, or some such. These people seem not to pay any attention to several facts.
- Like the fact that psychotherapy hasn’t shown to be helping with BIID
- Like the fact that pharmacotherapy hasn’t shown to be helping with BIID
- Like the fact that people who have BIID aren’t psychotic, not deluded.
- Like the fact that most "professionals" have never heard of BIID
- Like the fact that for some of us it is apparently impossible to actually get an appointment with a shrink to discuss BIID.
No, "you psycho" doesn’t apply. Ain’t psychotic, sorry.
Yes, ok, I admit, I need help.
In the last 20+ years, I have sought help, usualy with little success. I have seen numerous psychotherapists, psychiatrists, councellors, etc. I have been on a whole string of medication. When I say this, people like the author of that note are quick to point out that if it didn’t work is because I didn’t want it bad enough, that I was biased towards the outcome anyway. That statement doesn’t take into account that it’s not only my experience with psychotherapy or pharmacotherapy that hasn’t yielded results. It also doesn’t take into account that until about five years ago, I did not *want* surgery, I didn’t think it would help resolve the issues. But after such a long fight, such a long search for non-surgical solution, I have changed my mind.
So, yeah, I don’t disagree that I need professional help.
In fact, I specifically asked my GP nearly 2 months ago for a referral to the local mental health people. They have not even acknowledged to me that they received the referral and will schedule an appointment later. My GP checked with the clinic that they did receive the referral, and apparently, yes.
So, again, ok, I’m game, I need professional help. But mental health professionals are assiduously avoiding me it seems.
So, "dear" correspondant, tell me, what is your suggestion? Take the time to actually think about this. Give me that much respect. I don’t ask you to agree with me. I don’t even ask you to be polite. But I would ask you to account for all that is known about BIID. And then you tell me what I should do.
Tags: BIID, Help, Mental Health, Pharmacotherapy, Psychiatrist, Psychotherapy
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9 Comments
Me too, 100%. The space you’ve created here appears to be the best help most of us are going to get. Question is, who cares for the caregiver? Let us do it, as much as we can. We love ya!
just ignore them… this is the internet. they’re idiots. i think a lot of people need to watch bambi again. particularly the bit about what to do if you have nothing nice to say.
5 On 6 April, 2009, Claire said:
LOL Tora I tell my kids that all the time! “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.”
Claire, Alice Roosevelt Longworth (Teddy’s daughter) used to say, “If you can’t say anything nice, come sit next to me.”
@tora, Alice was known to have a very sharp, wicked, funny sense of humor. She said that Calvin Coolidge, an American president with a very sour demeanor, had been weaned on a dill pickle. What she meant was, if you can’t say anything nice, come sit next to me and we’ll gossip.
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1 On 6 April, 2009, Chloe said:
I really don’t think you should take such communications seriously. It’s NOT about you. It’s NOT about BIID. Such people have no interest in either. It’s about THEM. They have their own issues going on, and they have yet to acquire the maturity to deal with it except by trying to make other people feel bad about themselves. Easy for me to say, cos you’re the one in the limelight, but try not to let yourself get hurt by people who have nothing relevant to say, and whose motive is to alleviate their own suffering at the expense of others.