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Home / Thoughts / Sean's Thoughts / How young is too young?

How young is too young?

Written by Sean on Monday, November 21, 2005

Not egg foo-yung, but almost, and that’s certainly how my grey matter feels about it at times! Interacting with Sophie is certainly giving me much to think about. It’s not bad stuff either. In this case, I’m led to reconsider my stance on young people seriously thinking about self-injury. I’m not fully in favour, just as I’m not generally fully in favour of anyone just going ahead and self-injuring. But I’m not as diametrically opposed as I used to be either.

It’s funny how your thoughts can change over time.Are mine changing because it’s expedient to do so and can justify some courses of action? It’s always a consideration, but I honestly don’t think so. I’m just seeing things in a new and different light.

I used to think that someone at 20, or even 25, was too young to go forward with self-injury (or proper medical treatment if there was such a thing, which is moot as there isn’t). I still believe that one needs to better understand why they need this to happen. Without at least a bit of an understanding, how can one be sure that this is the right decision? Of course, one can never be sure, still, it would behoove anyone to have a modicum of understanding. And for those who’ve read me saying that understanding won’t heal me, read the article a bit closer. You’ll see that I say while it won’t heal me, it was a necessary part of the process to be where I’m at today (not that I understand fully).

There also is a need to understand the implications of such a drastic, and irreversible action. As it is, too many "wannabes" I talk to seem to be gloriously unaware of the repercussions of their desired disability. Without going as far as some people with disabilities who say that there is no way anyone can know anything about the implications, I believe that people should do more research. Being a paraplegic is NOT just about having legs that don’t move. If you’re in this just for the glamour of it all, you’re in it for the wrong reason mate!

But in fact, who’s to say that a 20 year old can’t have a grasp on their own feeling and understand where they come from? It’s unlikely, and would be unusual, but it’s not impossible. It is even more possible that they would have gained a half decent understanding of paraplegia, particularly with the plethora of internet resources today, that they would have done some basic research about spinal cord injuries.

Another argument against injury at a young age might be that you haven’t lived, haven’t experienced much. Or that you can’t possibly have made your mind up yet.

Those ones can be set aside as well. I look back on where I was emotionally when I was 20, 25. And sure, there’s a lot I hadn’t done by then, that I am glad I did and wouldn’t have been able to do had I been a para. But really, my life would have been free of so much negative stuff. No doubt, there would have been other negative stuff, perhaps even as much or more. But the constant limbo I’ve been in since I was 5 or 6 would have been lifted.

I’m not saying I wasted my life so far, no, it’s been an ok sort of life. Well, part of it have been ok. There’s been intense joy. But then, looking back, in the balance, there’s been more sadness and anguish than joy and light heartedness. And I can directly tie in the anguish to being transabled. And it does feel like I wasted an opportunity to be who and what I really wanted/needed to be from the "start". Over 15 years later, I’m thinking "life would probably have been better had I been a para at 20, it certainly would have been much different".

So, who am I to say to someone that they are too young to seriously look at this course of action, just because of their age? I’ll still attempt to convince you to reconsider, but I won’t be opposed just on the basis of your age.

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