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Home / Thoughts / Sean's Thoughts / Going full-time?

Going full-time?

Written by Sean on Tuesday, July 1, 1997

A para friend who’s doing her very best to understand, asked why don’t I use the chair all the time, no cheating at all, since I’m a wannabe and I do get a lot of comfort from using the chair.

Well, I DO use the chair a lot. I don’t use all the time, especially at home, because I’m lazy, I’ll admit to that. And after all, doing things standing up or walking is a lot easier. No fair you’ll say, or think, and yes, I’ll admit to that too… I can’t help it. I wish I could…

I’m using my chair a lot and it provides me with as much peace of mind as is possible right now. I know I can cook from the chair, clean, vacuum, do this or that. I have done it, and will do it again. But this little bit more would not make much of a difference.

What *would* make a difference? Physically knowing what it’s like, but that will likely never happen. And even if it did, I’m not sure it would solve anything, that I’d be satisfied in the end…

First, years ago, I wanted to have a wheelchair. Got it… Then I wanted to use it more. Did that, but wanted to go out with it. Went out but wished for a friend to wheel with. Found one but that still wasn’t enough. had to have a lover to share my wheels with. Now I have that and it doesn’t get much better than this.

But at times, I still know the anguish of being a fraud. No, at this point, using the chair a little more or a little less wouldn’t make much of a difference.

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