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Home / Thoughts / Sean's Thoughts / Ethics

Ethics

Written by Sean on Tuesday, July 1, 1997

I’d like to talk about something I believe very important. I may sound vehement and adamant about it, I am. Tonight in a chat room on IRC, someone described an outing they had just arrived from. I will not go into details as to what happened, but I mention one particular event that was described to me, as it is what got me upset.

We must not, under any circumstances use our chair and/or braces in ways that could possibly bring on a negative image of the disabled community. They have worked and are working too hard to get accepted in society for us to go ruin that, for what I consider cheap thrills. We, as wannabes, pretenders, chair/brace users by choice, owe it to the disabled to not abuse their rights. We are rarely accepted (not that ultimately we need anyone’s acceptance, but it is nice to not go against everyone) by the disabled, always misunderstood and often barely tolerated. Let us not destroy the little good and the positive feelings there are.

I beg you, when you go out there, behave and think as close as possible as someone with a disability would. We can’t really know that, but we can imagine, use our common sense and general rules of behavior. Don’t ask a perfect stranger in a public bathroom to help you change your diapers. That is going past the limits of consensuality (and many other things I won’t get into right now, but if you have half a mind you can easily imagine them). Let’s think of a few reasons why this would be an unwelcome thing to do…

The disabled in general strive to be more independent and to not be seen/perceived as crippled… How does the fore mentioned act help there? Then it could cross our minds that if a disabled did need help in changing diapers (that is, IF they were to use them) they would have an attendant there with them, paid for that job, and used to doing it. Also, imagine the person that is being asked to do so? Holding a door once in a while or helping you over the curb remains in the realm of the acceptable, but this is simply going too far, requesting of someone probably too shocked to refuse something that is definitely not proper.

It gives a degrading image of the disabled, and that we can’t give. We owe the disabled respect. If we are to use their means of transport, if we are to desire to be paralyzed, to be just like them, then we must act accordingly and think about all the issues they are fighting for.

I work hard at being non-judgmental, and I totally realize that I am passing a judgment here, and harsh at that. I make no excuse for it. I tend to think that everyone is entitled their own quirks and have a very open mind, BUT that stops there. I will not, I cannot let this pass. I pray you to give it some serious thought.

Our use of a chair won’t change the fact that they have to use it. Us not using the chair would still not change that fact. So we aren’t changing their situation by using the chair. What will have an influence over their life is how we behave while in the chair and in public. If we so much as alienate one person by a careless and un thought act, then we really deserve the flack we get.

No instead, I ask that you stop and think about how you can change mentalities for the better. You know about the architectural barriers, you know about people’s reactions towards a chair user… So why don’t you spread the word around you, and not when you are in the chair, when you are leading you everyday life. That is the little we can do. And perhaps even that is something we ought not to embark on, until and unless we get mandated by the disabled to do so.

Forgive my ranting. I could not let this pass. I am convinced that most of us are mature enough to not mis-behave, but for the few people that take their kicks in undue fashions, hear me out. And if you were that person that was asked to help, or if you are that paraplegic that is now upset, please, do not put us all in the same basket. Thank you.

Tags: Ethics, Pretending