Comments on: Control over BIID and vitriolic response from people http://transabled.org/thoughts/sean-thoughts/control-over-biid-and-vitriolic-response-from-people.htm Talking about Body Integrity Identity Disorder - Just another disability! Sat, 13 Mar 2010 21:10:26 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.7-beta2 hourly 1 By: Brice http://transabled.org/thoughts/sean-thoughts/control-over-biid-and-vitriolic-response-from-people.htm/comment-page-1#comment-15568 Brice Mon, 25 Aug 2008 10:59:29 +0000 http://transabled.org/?p=813#comment-15568 Why are people without impairments so threatened by those who have them? The attitudes of others can be more disabling than anything we\'ve got. Why are people without impairments so threatened by those who have them? The attitudes of others can be more disabling than anything we\’ve got.

]]> By: Gordo http://transabled.org/thoughts/sean-thoughts/control-over-biid-and-vitriolic-response-from-people.htm/comment-page-1#comment-15566 Gordo Sun, 24 Aug 2008 21:41:15 +0000 http://transabled.org/?p=813#comment-15566 You know, Miked, your third point rings really true for me. Public perception plays such a key role. I've stated at Ahiruzone that I've been feeling more comfortable with myself as a wheelchair user. But the other day, I ran into a friend and after telling him my "reason" (which was only half-true) for using one, he totally treated me differently and it really made me feel alienated. Suddenly my "reason" is a big defining feature of me and he kept inquiring about whether it will go away or not. It was awkward, even though I said I really didn't want to talk too much about it. So, in other words, I felt fully at ease with myself as a wheelchair user until someone brought it up and made me feel different. The same type of problem can be seen in homosexuality and BIID; it's all about public perception. You know, Miked, your third point rings really true for me. Public perception plays such a key role.

I’ve stated at Ahiruzone that I’ve been feeling more comfortable with myself as a wheelchair user. But the other day, I ran into a friend and after telling him my “reason” (which was only half-true) for using one, he totally treated me differently and it really made me feel alienated.

Suddenly my “reason” is a big defining feature of me and he kept inquiring about whether it will go away or not. It was awkward, even though I said I really didn’t want to talk too much about it.

So, in other words, I felt fully at ease with myself as a wheelchair user until someone brought it up and made me feel different. The same type of problem can be seen in homosexuality and BIID; it’s all about public perception.

]]> By: Chloe http://transabled.org/thoughts/sean-thoughts/control-over-biid-and-vitriolic-response-from-people.htm/comment-page-1#comment-15562 Chloe Sun, 24 Aug 2008 14:46:52 +0000 http://transabled.org/?p=813#comment-15562 Miked, I agree with Julia. You have stated things clearly and accurately. I can totally see how someone with a disability might have a self image of being able bodied. Miked, I agree with Julia. You have stated things clearly and accurately. I can totally see how someone with a disability might have a self image of being able bodied.

]]> By: Julia http://transabled.org/thoughts/sean-thoughts/control-over-biid-and-vitriolic-response-from-people.htm/comment-page-1#comment-15560 Julia Sun, 24 Aug 2008 10:24:40 +0000 http://transabled.org/?p=813#comment-15560 well put, miked! well put, miked!

]]> By: miked http://transabled.org/thoughts/sean-thoughts/control-over-biid-and-vitriolic-response-from-people.htm/comment-page-1#comment-15558 miked Sun, 24 Aug 2008 08:44:26 +0000 http://transabled.org/?p=813#comment-15558 My take on BIID is as follows: 1. I don't believe many people choose what they are attracted to, they just are or are not. It's like sweet potatoes - you either like them or not, it has nothing to do with virtue. 2. The biggest problem with BIID is similar to masturbation, the act isn't a problem, it's the guilt and shame we feel before discovering most people do it, and sexual drive is physical, not moral. Most of us learned this as teenagers, but because BIID is not a 'mainstream' issue, it's a harder lesson to learn. 3. If we compare the public perception of BIID (such as it is) to the public perception of homosexuality in the 40's or 50's we can see parallels - Many people thought it was sinful, shameful, disgusting etc. - but it still existed. Today most western societies have come to realize that it's just a fact of life and accept it, but public perception of BIID hasn't matured quite yet. For what it's worth, I don't have BIID, I am really disabled but struggle with the issue because my self-image is not as handicapped, but fully abled. My kids occasionally point out to me that I need to adjust my self-image, however that's harder than it would seem. Telling someone with BIID (either the classic definition or the reverse, such as me) not to feel that way is as silly as telling someone afraid of flying 'don't feel that way'. My take on BIID is as follows:
1. I don’t believe many people choose what they are attracted to, they just are or are not. It’s like sweet potatoes - you either like them or not, it has nothing to do with virtue.
2. The biggest problem with BIID is similar to masturbation, the act isn’t a problem, it’s the guilt and shame we feel before discovering most people do it, and sexual drive is physical, not moral. Most of us learned this as teenagers, but because BIID is not a ‘mainstream’ issue, it’s a harder lesson to learn.
3. If we compare the public perception of BIID (such as it is) to the public perception of homosexuality in the 40’s or 50’s we can see parallels - Many people thought it was sinful, shameful, disgusting etc. - but it still existed. Today most western societies have come to realize that it’s just a fact of life and accept it, but public perception of BIID hasn’t matured quite yet.
For what it’s worth, I don’t have BIID, I am really disabled but struggle with the issue because my self-image is not as handicapped, but fully abled. My kids occasionally point out to me that I need to adjust my self-image, however that’s harder than it would seem. Telling someone with BIID (either the classic definition or the reverse, such as me) not to feel that way is as silly as telling someone afraid of flying ‘don’t feel that way’.

]]> By: Gordo http://transabled.org/thoughts/sean-thoughts/control-over-biid-and-vitriolic-response-from-people.htm/comment-page-1#comment-15298 Gordo Sun, 10 Aug 2008 01:30:17 +0000 http://transabled.org/?p=813#comment-15298 Like I said in a post (I forget if it was posted here or at the Wheelchair Zone), I think the fear has to do with the unknown; they are afraid of the fact that disability is so uncertain (in terms of prognosis and what a disabled person's future holds) and also because BIID is something that everyone knows so little about. Just my suggestion. Like I said in a post (I forget if it was posted here or at the Wheelchair Zone), I think the fear has to do with the unknown; they are afraid of the fact that disability is so uncertain (in terms of prognosis and what a disabled person’s future holds) and also because BIID is something that everyone knows so little about.

Just my suggestion.

]]> By: Sean http://transabled.org/thoughts/sean-thoughts/control-over-biid-and-vitriolic-response-from-people.htm/comment-page-1#comment-15297 Sean Sat, 09 Aug 2008 21:51:59 +0000 http://transabled.org/?p=813#comment-15297 Gordo, I think you hit it on the nail. They stop listening. I'd never thought of it in those terms, but that has got to be what it is. Some people say that anger is a secondary feeling. That before anger, there's another feeling underneath, usualy fear. One wonders what is it that makes them so afraid of us... Gordo, I think you hit it on the nail. They stop listening. I’d never thought of it in those terms, but that has got to be what it is.

Some people say that anger is a secondary feeling. That before anger, there’s another feeling underneath, usualy fear. One wonders what is it that makes them so afraid of us…

]]> By: Gordo http://transabled.org/thoughts/sean-thoughts/control-over-biid-and-vitriolic-response-from-people.htm/comment-page-1#comment-15296 Gordo Sat, 09 Aug 2008 04:59:57 +0000 http://transabled.org/?p=813#comment-15296 To me, anger is just a knee-jerk reaction from those people who hear, "I need to be disabled" and nothing else. They hear our objective and stop listening at that point, forming their own conclusions and thus resulting in a poor understanding of what our situation is. To me, anger is just a knee-jerk reaction from those people who hear, “I need to be disabled” and nothing else. They hear our objective and stop listening at that point, forming their own conclusions and thus resulting in a poor understanding of what our situation is.

]]> By: Chloe http://transabled.org/thoughts/sean-thoughts/control-over-biid-and-vitriolic-response-from-people.htm/comment-page-1#comment-15294 Chloe Fri, 08 Aug 2008 21:51:42 +0000 http://transabled.org/?p=813#comment-15294 In the original blog we are referred to as "imbeciles". Apparently she has never met any of us. I have the impression we are all trying to deal with this (BIID) as intelligently as we can. I have another mental illness for which I take medication every day. I see a psychotherapist. It boggles the mind that people think we are resistant to such things. We are "whining"? Really? I haven't seen any signs of that. How do people interpret being open and honest about our feelings, thoughts and experiences as whining? You take on the whole world, Sean; and I thank you for it. Please don't do it at the expense of your own well being. My own aspiration is simply to tell my friends about this. My hope is that, should it come up in conversation, they will be able to say "I have a friend with BIID. She's a really nice person and she's handling it really well". O.K., I flatter myself. I'm not always as nice as I'd like to be and I don't always handle it as well as I'd like : ) In the original blog we are referred to as “imbeciles”. Apparently she has never met any of us. I have the impression we are all trying to deal with this (BIID) as intelligently as we can.

I have another mental illness for which I take medication every day. I see a psychotherapist. It boggles the mind that people think we are resistant to such things.

We are “whining”? Really? I haven’t seen any signs of that. How do people interpret being open and honest about our feelings, thoughts and experiences as whining?

You take on the whole world, Sean; and I thank you for it. Please don’t do it at the expense of your own well being.

My own aspiration is simply to tell my friends about this. My hope is that, should it come up in conversation, they will be able to say “I have a friend with BIID. She’s a really nice person and she’s handling it really well”. O.K., I flatter myself. I’m not always as nice as I’d like to be and I don’t always handle it as well as I’d like : )

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