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Caught Pretending
Written by Sean on Friday, February 27, 2009
In talking with Silent a few days ago, she said that one of her biggest fears was to get caught, and I told her I’d had a few doozy stories of getting caught. She told me she’d be interested in learning of them, and I thought it might make an interesting post. And here I am, writing these things down. Problem is, I can’t really think of any wheelchair using events where I was caught, or nearly caught.
Still, I have been caught a few times, mostly as I was younger.
As with most of us, when I was a kid I used bandages a lot. I had several that I mostly used around my legs. But I would also regularly use a wooden 12" ruler and immobilise my fingers that way. A mate of mine came to play, it might have been Monopoly. My mother wasn’t at work, working most evenings. I forgot about the thing on my hand/wrist/finger, and my friend asked about it. I don’t remember what I said, but basically shrugged it off, removed it and that was it. I don’t recall feeling particularly embarassed or bad.
I had also acquired a semi-rigid neck collar, somehow. I think this was when I was a bit younger than the finger/ruler incident, as this happened with a "babysitter". It wasn’t my usual one, but her brother. I didn’t expect him that early, and so was still wearing the foam collar when he came in. I also don’t recall what I said, nor what he said. Collar removed, and nothing more was said. I also don’t remember embarassement or any other negatives.
I do recall HUGE embarassement when I tried renting a wheelchair (one of the old clunking horrible things) from a pharmacy. They wanted some money down as "insurance", collateral, or some such. I of course didn’t have access to that, and brought them a computer. I *vividly* remember the lady batting the thing away and making some sarcastic comment about them not being a charity and to get that shit off her counter and take a hike. Ooooh, boy, that was bad. I was so nervous trying to rent the thing, I as sure I had "weirdo" written all over me. I didn’t know about BIID at that time. In fact, the term wasn’t even coined yet. It would be nearly 20 years before it was coined!
Later on, I was probably around 14 or 15 or something like that, I had a plastic hard collar. I also remember being frustrated because my neck was too long to be properly supported by the thing! I wanted more immobilisation. I had hidden the thing under my bed. I was not very clever in those days, I guess. Anyway, my mother, "bless her soul", waited for me to have two or three friends from school at home before pulling it out in front of them and asking for an explanation. At the time, I only had friends who were girls (and I didn’t have a girl friend). Could not have caused more embarassement! For some unfathomable reason, I said it was a hat! She put the thing on her head and walked out. I was angry at her for doing that in front of my friends. I have no idea what she hoped to accomplish.
Around the age of 17, I tried removing a long arm plaster cast I’d self-applied in the public toilets of a shopping mall. I’d had a good afternoon going to the movies, shopping, etc. Only, I realised that Mother Dearest would arrive home before I did and showing up with an arm cast simply wouldn’t do! Bit of panic, couldn’t think where to remove it. So I went in a stall and started work on it. It wasn’t very long before a security guard for the mall chased me away. I’m not sure what he was thinking. I suspect he thought I was a drug addict getting a fix. I was more panicked than embarassed, didn’t know how to get home "sans" cast. In the end, I removed it in a back alley somewhere. It was the middle of Winter. I had to remove my coat, my sweaters. Yet I was perspiring while cutting the relatively still damp cast off my arm with a pocket knife.
In my early 20’s, I had a custom Milwaukee and was wearing it to go to the movies on a day off. One day, a couple colleagues saw me, and obviously asked about what was wrong, etc. I rather calmly said that I had a back issue that I needed to wear the brace as much as possible but not necessary at work. I remember thinking I was shaking like a leaf, that surely they’d see through the lies. But they didn’t, or didn’t show they didn’t believe me. They expressed concern that I should let the boss know, but that’s about it.
Bit later, I had a SOMI as well as a custom made TLSO brace, which I kept hidden in the basement of a flat my girlfriend was sharing with school mates. I’d wear the things when nobody was around. One day, she left for classes, and I went in the basement (door through her room), and got the back brace and the SOMI on her bed. And she came back in just at that moment! She had forgotten a text book. She didn’t say a thing about the braces. As if she hadn’t seen them. It is possible she didn’t pay attention, flustered about getting what she needed and going to school. My heart was stammering. This is the person whom I later told about BIID, which basically broke the relationship up. She didn’t *quite* walk away, but I realised that she was not equipped to handle my needs. To be fair, BIID probably wasn’t the only issue there either.
I can’t recall other times, though there might have been. I recall some near-misses. One day, not having gone full-time yet, but in a town where everyone I knew knew me as a wheeler. I spotted a friend of my late-wife. This friend is/was a quad. She was driving along and had I not done something quick, she would have seen me walking!
And a couple other times where I was in a chair and nobody knew me as wheeling, where I was able to swiftly turn around and be unseen. People that don’t know you as a wheelchair user would never in a million year think you are you if they see you in a chair, especially if it’s just a glimpse. AB’s brains are just not built this way I don’t think :)
It’s funny though. It used to be that I had to hide my wheelchair from the world. Now, I have to hide my good legs. It’s a double life. But being full time in the chair certainly has avoided a lot of the "getting caught" issues.
So, what are *your* stories of getting caught?
Tags: BIID, Cast, Caught, Discovery, Wheelchair, Wheeling
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43 Comments
2 On 27 February, 2009, Claire said:
Getting caught the first time was the catalyst for me going full-time. I was seen by someone I know at the airport on my way to a pretending trip. The problem is, she didn’t ask me about it at all! And I didn’t volunteer. When I got back in town I started limping all over the place because I was afraid I’d run into her (I never did!). At this point I had devised a sort of story: “neurological thing” (also happened to be the truth). From then on, I used my chair closer and closer to home. I got “caught” many times, but was ready with “neurological thing” and it eventually turned into a relief every time I got caught, because that was one less person I had to worry about. At this point, everyone knows.
@Claire Everyone knows - that you use a chair? that you have BIID? that you have a ‘neurological thing’
I’ve been nearly caught a couple of times… My mom keeps some sort of elastic bandage in the linen closet (I’ve used it twice that she knows of… Both times I sprained my ankle doing something stupid.) It has velcro on both ends… Anyway, I stole it. It wasn’t really big enough to wrap around my whole right leg, but I did it anyway so that it was tight enough that I couldn’t move my knee very much at all. (I chose my right leg because it’s always been screwed up anyway… It’s shorter than my left leg so I have an excuse when I walk with a limp… Which I do sometimes.) Anyway, after I took it off (I was so afraid my mom would hear the velcro. I was supposed to be asleep.) I threw it under the bed.
My dog likes to hide under my bed. When I had the bandage under there, I was so afraid she would decide it was a toy and take it out. But she never did. Also, she hides under there sometimes when my mom doesn’t WANT her under my bed. Every time THAT would happen, I would be afraid that she’d find the bandage. But apparently she never did. One weekend she decided to clean my room (when I wasn’t there) fortunately, she told me beforehand and as soon as I got the chance, I grabbed the bandage and put it back in the closet… It’s still there. (This was actually like, last week…)
This is a really fun topic, albeit serious at the same time. I wish I had more interesting stories to tell.
My most embarrassing moment was when my sister caught me in the middle of bandaging my left foot, when I was thirteen. I was very flustered, didn’t know what to say, and just hoped she would leave right away. I’m sure I had a very guilty look. I was more careful after that.
Later, I accumulated a sufficiently large collection of bandages and braces that it was simply impossible to hide from anybody I was living with. Sometimes this went better than others. In 1981 or 1982 I had bandaged my leg. My girlfriend, who I was living with, said that she didn’t want to have sex with me because it would feel like having sex with a cripple. Ouch!!! I honestly don’t get why someone wouldn’t want to have sex with a person for no other reason than they can’t walk.
After I got fibromyalgia I had a genuine need to use bandages and braces quite a bit of the time. This gave me a good excuse to use them any time even if I wasn’t having an episode.
My partner is highly domesticated, so she took over most of the house organising and cleaning when we moved in together. I still hadn’t told her about any of this when she found a box with a suspiciously large collection of rigid knee splints and hinged knee braces. It wasn’t a problem though.
At this point my default mobility mode is in the wheelchair, unless I have some particular reason not to be. So it’s no longer an issue for anybody to see me in a wheelchair. The issue is the other way round, like Sean said. I could not have imagined this a year ago!
Mobility mode number two is leg braces, which I use when going to somebody’s house or a resaturant, that I know to be wheelchair inaccessible. I deem this to be equivalent to the wheelchair in terms of people seeing me.
At the opposite extreme is no assistive device at all. There are only two places where this happens. Although most of my time at home is spent in the wheelchair, I do walk around at times. The only person ever to see this is my partner. If someone is coming over for dinner, or whatever, I am always in leg braces or wheelchair regardless of whether they do or do not know about the BIID. If anybody knocks at the door, and I happen to be walking around, the very first thing I do is jump in the wheelchair.
The other place unassisted is skiing. There is a possibility that someone could see me there. We had a guy over to dinner some weeks ago. It turned out that he is an avid skier and he goes to the same ski resort that I go to. He only knows me as a wheelchair user. Actually in response to a question from my partner he said “Yes, you need really strong legs to go skiing”. Then he realised what he’d said and gave me a very embarrassed look. If I meet him up there I will just bite the bullet and tell him that I have BIID. Although that can be nerve racking, my experience has been that it’s usually not as bad as you think it’s going to be.
Last mobility mode is the single crutch, which is reserved for work. I have covered all bases for people at work. They know that I ski in the regular manner, AND they know that I have and use a wheelchair. I have pitched my level of impairment such that both of these seem plausible. They comment on things like large bruises on my arm, or a wrist brace, and I can honestly say that I fell skiing. Of course they will assume that I fall a lot because I am unsteady on my feet, whereas it’s really because I ski like a complete maniac. This also gives me further excuse to use a wheelchair at work, because I can say that I reinjured my back while skiing. By the way, thank you Claire for suggesting quite a while ago this gradualist approach at work. It’s going very smoothly.
So the only remaining issue is people outside of work seeing me at work. This is not unlikely because there are a lot of psychotherapists here. For example the psychotherapist who has the office closest to mine is an MtF TS. She sees a lot of people for gender issues. So sometimes I meet someone in the corridor who I know from the Gay Lettuce Bacon & Tomato (GLBT) center or gay pride parade, etc. They will have known me without mobility impairment, but the crutch is easy to explain. I simply tell the truth about my back injury, and they will assume that the extent of paralysis is a good deal more than it really is, just because I have a crutch.
The worst case scenario is someone who knows me only in wheelchair or leg braces seeing me at work with the single crutch. Since most of my friends have depression it could happen. I don’t have a good explanation ready for this. It’s a good reason to wheel at work.
Sorry this got so long without much in the way of entertaining stories. It’s a complicated issue.
6 On 27 February, 2009, Sean said:
@Beth I think Claire meant everyone knows she uses a chair occasionaly because of a neurological thing :)
I really liked this post Sean! Thanks!! I’ve only been “caught” the one time, which I wrote about in “I was seen!”. I’m sure it will happen again though.
8 On 27 February, 2009, Sean said:
@Ada you’re most welcome :)
9 On 28 February, 2009, Claire said:
Beth, everyone knows that I use a chair for a “neurological thing”. There are only a very few people who know I have BIID: my doctor and shrink, my mother and husband, and two of my best friends.
Claire, Thank you for clarifying that. It helps me decide what to tell my friends when I know what other people have said / got away with.
It’s still good to remember that very few people will assume that we are faking it because they think wanting and choosing to use a wheelchair is plain wierd and can’t imagine that we’d use one for fun.
What BIID creates is the *need* to use a chair. Just because we can walk (or hear, or see) doesn’t mean we should, in our particular case.
That’s absolutely right, Beth. There’s even been people I’ve explained the BIID to and they’ve *still* believed I had a physical need for wheelchair or leg braces, even though I have explicitly said otherwise. It’s just not something that people get suspicious about. People you know *will* ask you why you’re in a wheelchair though, so you have to have something ready to say.
I’ve always thought that the ‘neurological disorder’ excuse would work best, since most people aren’t gonna immediately go look it up… Plus, it really is the truth… I obviously haven’t had a chance to test this, but it seems the most reasonable solution because then if they catch you walking/using crutches/etc, you can’t be “caught in a lie”. That’s why I think that’ll be what I say when I’m older and away from people who know me. I dunno, does that make sense?
14 On 1 March, 2009, Claire said:
It kind of makes sense, Tora, except for you cannot live a double life. There’s no such thing as “people who know me” and “people who don’t” and keeping them entirely separate. It doesn’t work that way. Your two lives will end up crossing each other half a dozen different ways; ways that you could never have forseen.
I thought that when I move to university 5 years ago it would be a new start and atually to commemorate that I changed my name, used a different shortening of a longer name that I was christened with. I though that my parents would still call me the same thing they always had and nobody would care. What I forgot to consider is what when my Mum comes to visit me? that was confusing enough. Now I’m married to a boy I met at uni so he knows me as a totally different name to how my family know me.
That’s not really a big problem but throw in BIID and the secrecy that would most likely come with it as well as any embarrasment factors etc.
You really can’t forsee the way your old life will interact with your new one until you get there so please don’t make the assumption that it just won’t.
16 On 2 March, 2009, Claire said:
Exactly, Beth, thank you! One of the big ones is “what if someone comes to visit” (and they WILL). Or, what photos come up if anyone Googles your name, or if someone wants to be your friend on Facebook, and it has photos of you walking (for the benefit of your friends who think you can walk), and how will you explain those photos or explain to your friend who thinks you’re a wheeler why you didn’t accept their Facebook friend request (just some examples from real life). And there is always random chance to figure in. I know someone who lives in the midwest who went on a pretending trip to Boston and actually totally randomly ran into her NEIGHBOR in Boston while wheeling. Trying to live a double life and hiding that you can walk from people who think you wheel, and hiding that you wheel from people who think you can walk, is a one-way, non-stop ticket to a serious anxiety disorder. Trust me on this one.
My “disabled” and “able-bodied” lives have collided several times already, and it was quite a journey trying to think of a plausible explanation to explain why I can both walk and wheel.
I’ve been “caught” by a fellow student who I used to run into and chat with on the bus, and he bought my explanation, but not without asking a lot of questions.
A former prof of mine also caught me using a walking stick, but she didn’t ask any questions, and I didn’t volunteer an explanation.
Two of my neighbors have caught me assembling my chair outside my house, lol. On the same day, no less. I had to improvise something on the spot, and I don’t think they believed me but decided not to ask anything further.
The terrifying moment for me would be the day when I have to explain all of this to my parents; it’s been a “one-stop ticket to a serious anxiety disorder” (as Claire put it) in this regard, because I’m so afraid of being caught by someone who knows my parents, and in turn telling my parents about me. And I know this will seriously hurt them, which explains why I don’t want to tell them. But at the same time, if they know about this, I would feel less panicked about wheeling in certain areas or doing certain things.
Because of this, I normally have to hide my chair in the backyard and wait until my parents are asleep before I can sneak it back in. And for going out in the morning, I normally have a 10-minute window between the time my dad leaves for work and my mom wakes up. And her wake-up time varies, so sometimes I would be halfway down the stairs carrying my chair frame when I would hear her getting washed up in her washroom, and have to hurry up and leave in a panic before she opens her bedroom door (which has led me to forget to bring certain things).
“Serious anxiety disorder” in the making, indeed. I honestly don’t know how long I can keep this up. It’d be easier if I had my own car, so I can store my chair in there.
My experience with changing my name is exactly why I won’t start using a wheelchair outside my home until I can explain it to EVERYONE. I’m sure I’ll still get difficult questions from people I used to know and then bump into but I can’t be doing with trying to keep two seperate lives.
When I changed my name my parents knew from the start what I was doing. They didn’t like it as such but it wasn’t a secret. People can call me whichever they like on facebook and it doesn’t show up on photos. If I started using a chair with some people I’d have to make sure they didn’t tag pics of me in a chair on facebook and that somehow I didn’t get visits from people who know me as a walker while I’m with people who know me as a wheeler. If that situation arose then I’d have to invent some story and I know from experience that once told these stories have to get more and more wildly far fetched to include all the details that each individual already knows and before you know it you’re in a massive tangle.
On a different note, I found out a couple of days ago that I have a ‘lump’ in my tibia (lower leg bone). The doctor doesn’t think it’s anything sinister but said I might need an operation to strengthen the bone that would include 6 weeks non-weight-bearing in a cast and another 6 partial-weight-bearing, still in a cast before starting to really strengthen it all up again. I know you guys won’t think I’m wierd for hoping that I do need the operation!
@clare
hi you say you see a shrink. does that mean my desire to be somthing im not and being jelouse of ppl i see who are in wheelchairs is a mental problem? im still so confused
im so pathetic that i log onto virtual worlds and live my life in there in a wheelchair.
i just dont know wots wrong with me
p.s im only 18 and havebeen liek this sicne i was about 4 i remmeber trying to break my leg when i was 10 but now i want to be a para. breaking my leg by fallin of a play ground thing is no longer acceptable to me its like as i get older my obbsession gets stronger
20 On 6 March, 2009, Sean said:
@sad teenager. I am sorry you are feeling so hurt. It is a difficult time and it can be quite confusing.
We don’t really *know* if BIID is a mental problem or a neurological one. Many of us see shrinks to help with other things in our lives. For example, if you are depressed and you have BIID, it’s easier to handle BIID if you can control depression better.
You’re not pathetic, many people have gone online and presented themselves as wheelchair users in virtual worlds.
I’ve received your email and will respond to it shortly.
@sad teenager- There’s nothing “wrong” with you, just like there’s nothing wrong with any of us and there’s nothing wrong with someone who’s transgendered. We’re just different.
Random thought… Am I the youngest here? o_O
22 On 6 March, 2009, Sean said:
@Tora Depends how young you are :) I think that you probably are, with sad teenager. There’s been a few young’uns contact me over the years, as young as 14, but I don’t believe they are participating in comments/etc.
@Tora, Gordo, sad teenager and the other younger ones among us: I hope it’s helpful for you to know that the older ones (and I might be the oldest or close to it) have lived with BIID a long time, and most of us for decades on end thinking we were the only ones on earth, yet have managed productive and reasonably satisfying lives despite what Sean so wisely labels, just another disability. Living our body image would be the best, of course, but for those of us (the majority) who are not in a position to do so fully, just being in touch with others with the same condition is a tremendous help. Once again I thank Sean for his initiative and his continuous commitment to keeping us in touch with one another. Three cheers! Hip-hip…
@Sean- I’m 16, so I guess not quite the youngest… Still pretty close though. ^^
@Brice- Hear hear!
25 On 6 March, 2009, Sophie said:
I’m starting to lean towards the older half of the population on the site now as the years are passing me by but growing up in “generation X” means I was incredibly lucky to have the internet to look to (once I eventually figured out to look here). You aren’t pathetic for looking for the calm in the storm online.
26 On 7 March, 2009, Claire said:
@sad teenager: I do believe that BIID is a mental illness of some kind. Maybe psychological, but I think the best and most recent research shows that it’s a malfunction in the part of our brain that processes our body image. That said…there’s nothing *wrong* with us feeling that way. It’s different, and it can be difficult, but doesn’t mean you’re crazy.
Also, I have to agree with Brice. We’ve had full lives, done interesting things, known joy and pleasure and love and success. I’ve completed a college education, gotten married, had some great kids, have an interesting career, have traveled extensively and am able to laugh and have fun. Having BIID doesn’t mean that you can’t have these things.
I have to say this…and I’m very sorry, Sean, this is nothing against you and I think you’ll know this. A lot of the writing on this site is particularly agonizing, Sean’s in particular. I am not sure I’ve ever met someone with BIID as bad as Sean’s. Most of us do not suffer nearly as bad as him with our BIID. In fact I’d say that it’s the people who suffer the most, and who are going through a particularly bad time at the moment, who tend to do the writing. Those of us who are managing pretty well seem to have less need to write about it. But it gives a kind of a skewed view of what BIID is really like. It does not always get that bad…in fact I think it’s rare for it to be that bad. Don’t think that just because you have BIID that your life is going to be miserable. It won’t be.
27 On 7 March, 2009, Claire said:
@sad teenager: oh, I should add, about the shrink. I *do* see a shrink, but we figured out pretty early on that she couldn’t help with BIID. What she can, and does, help with, is the anxiety, guilt and depression that can go along with BIID, or that can arise from other circumstances in our lives (totally unrelated to BIID). Working on that stuff can VASTLY improve your quality of life and your ability to live with your BIID. The burden of BIID is lighter when you don’t have these other things to bear.
28 On 7 March, 2009, Sean said:
@Claire, yes it does seem to be those who are suffering most that need to write more. Care to put a couple things up? I know many people would love to see you come back to it :)
30 On 8 March, 2009, Claire said:
Thanks guys. But that’s the thing; I’m not particularly bothered by BIID lately. I just don’t know what to say about it right now.
31 On 8 March, 2009, Sean said:
@Claire then write something to tell us how you’ve managed to get BIID in the background. Or write something upbeat. We sure could use some upbeat ;)
32 On 8 March, 2009, Sophie said:
Yeah, it’s all doom/gloom/Sean’s life sucks stuff atm :P
wow thank you all so much for your comments to me :)
i found them really helpfull and i didnt really know that young people have this also for some reason. i havent realli ever spoke to anyone about it let alone a young person :)
your all awsum do you have to fit a certain criteria to be able to sighn up?
thank youu
xoxo
SadTeenager
Just read the message you sent me thank you very much sean I understand :)
XoXo
SadTeenager x
I think you\’ll find that most of us started about the same age you did - between about 4 and 8.
As for signing up - well just write something and send it to Sean. He let you know - but he tolerates the rest of usso why not you too?
@Claire. There are SO many things I want to hear from you about:
When and why did you get AFOs? What kind are they? Do you wear them full time? What are your feelings about them? How do they make your life better.
Tell us all about the BIID experiments you have participated in.
And yes, how did you get to the point of not being particularly bothered by BIID?
Here’s an interesting anecdotal first-person study on how people will decide for themselves why you present as disabled:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FcUWhsTCk78
Hey you lot, stop bullying Claire. She sounds really happy and contented with life at the moment, leave her be, she’ll write something if she wants.
@Claire, Me thinks the natives smell blood, they’ll be after you with pitchforks and cloves of garlic next, “if she weighs more than a duck, she must be a witch, burn her”….run away, run away, make for hills…save yourself..lol :)
39 On 10 March, 2009, Claire said:
LOL, Will. I am actually not terribly contented with life, I’m going through one HELL of a miserable depression, but at the moment BIID has very little to do with that, and as I can pretty much wheel whenever I want and I am out as a wheelchair user to everyone, there is not much going on on that front. I have done the work, it’s all behind me. The depression still robs me of the gumption to write about it.
Chloe I’m amused by your AFO questions. The AFOs are so trivial to me. They’re nothing! They were just an experiment that I tried, they are cheap ones I got off eBay, not custom, and I wear them whenever I leave the house, because they fit with my “neurological problem” quite nicely. I don’t particularly love them, but they work. I use them and crutches like Gordo uses his cane…they are a prop that allows me to wheel.
Maybe this will seem a bit hardcore, but it’s the truth as I see it.
Teenagers, I would say to you that if all you need is a wheelchair or braces or something similar that doesn’t necessarily require permanent alteration of your body, you should do anything & everything in your power, as quickly as possible, to get your equipment and start using & wearing it like you want to.
Make up stories (remember, medical records are private), spend lots of money, buy tools & learn how to work with metal, go shopping in Mexico, and/or explain the truth to anyone who really needs to know it (they will not kill you or even hate you). Do whatever you have to do.
I wish I’d made my move a lot sooner. My best years are past me now. I feel like all the time I wanted but went without my braces was wasted time. I feel so much better about myself, other people, and the whole world now that I can actually be myself. I know my past would have been much brighter (& probably involved a lot less drugs) if I’d started being myself earlier.
I’m telling you this because I don’t want you to waste your precious time like I did. Look as good to yourself as you can while you’re still good-looking.
Oh, sorry Claire, i just assumed that now you were happily “wheeling free” everything else in your life was going well too. Sorry to hear other things arn’t as rosey. Lets hope you can get them sorted out as soon as. You deserve to be happy, yunno that ?
@Bracy, Hardcore, maybe; the truth, possibly; not got the faintest idea what you’re on about, definitely…:)
Sorry, but i really don’t understand what it is you’re trying to say ??
@Bracy- I totally would. The thing is- I have no money (or at least very little) and even if I did, my mom goes through my stuff regularly and there’s no way I’m gonna try to explain BIID to her since she can’t even seem to grasp the idea of anyone being transgendered. o_O
That’s true. Parents are often too much. I suppose in some cases, “as quickly as possible” can be at least a few years
I wish I’d saved a lot of money for equipment then gone off to school somewhere incredibly far from my parents. I could have been whoever I’d wanted to be; no one there would have been the wiser. I could’ve come home a year later in braces having made up a story & say I didn’t want to worry them (my family & friends) & that my disability was no big deal to me, so they shouldn’t feel bad about it.
Be imaginative & creative; where there’s a will, there’s a way.
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1 On 27 February, 2009, Beth said:
I was caught wheelchair pretending on my second outing and I managed to spin some story about how as a physiotherapist I needed to understand my patients. And that my university and a charity I worked for had recommended that I spend a week in a wheelchair and I’d agreed to spend a day in ‘the thing’. I felt bad for lying for ages after that though. The person I had been seen by asked me how it had gone and said she’d never have the guts to do do it herself. I still haven’t told her the truth.
I have been seen by other people that I know and have been able to use a similar excuse each time. Being a medical professional has it’s advantages!
My fear is that I’ll be seen by someone I know and that I won’t see them. Particually that they’ll bring it up in front of other people at a later stage and I’ll have to explain to a whole group of my friends.
Sean : That sounds awful having your mum pull out your neck brace in front of your friends. I don’t have any idea what she was hoping to achieve either!
The one kind of getting caught that I haven’t done and hope never to do is to be caught by a stranger. e.g. by falling out of the chair and giving myself away in the attempt to get back in. I’m comforted by the range of disability and the existance of incomplete SCI because if I do move or use a muscle to get myself into my chair or something it doesn’t give anyone the immediate right to pronounce me a fake (even though I am one)