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An apology

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Written by Sean on Sunday, February 26, 2006

To those people who know me as a para, or think they know who I am, I offer my apologies. I apologise for having told them that I am paraplegic. I apologise for the breach of trust. And I ask for both forgiveness and hopefully, acceptance.

Please also see the edit of this item at the bottom of the full article.

For I am the same person you’ve come to know. Lies about facts, yes, but never about feelings, emotions, nor the essence of who I am.

I am who I am, and the options in front of me are limited. Walk, and be so miserable I end up killing myself. Or wheel, and wheeling involves telling factual lies.

I have not been involved in the work I’ve been involved thinking "this is one great big joke". I have not, ever, made light of things. I do believe I am a better person for what I’ve done, and am certainly happier. And I dare hope I’ve made a positive impact as well.

I am rambling. I want to say a few things, but am not sure where to begin. And so, I shall just end by saying again that I am sorry to have mislead you.

It appears that I must clarify my apology, as I received some mails from people wondering what was going on.

I do NOT apologise for being who and what I am. I am sorry that I’ve had to lie to people. I am sorry that those lies created a breach of trust for so many people. I hope that those who know me only as a wheeler, and think me a paraplegic will accept my apology, and the fact that I didn’t have much choice in what I told them about the reasons for my wheeling.

One might argue that you always have choice, but that’s not a debate I’m willing to engage in now. I *must* wheel, lest I blow my brains out. In order to be able to wheel, I have to lie, as society isn’t ready to accept my reasons for wheeling (in fact, I’m having a nice exchange with someone from the disability community about this).

Anyway, that’s that…

 

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About Sean

Sean is transabled. His body image is that of an L2 paraplegic. He has been living pretty much 100% of his public life from a wheelchair for the last decade, but hasn't found peace of mind (and is unlikely to until he does become a para).