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Home / Thoughts / Sean's Thoughts / A new job heralds a better time?

A new job heralds a better time?

Written by Sean on Thursday, January 19, 2006

I will be starting a new job within the next few weeks. This is good, as it will allow me not to be so bloody broke all the time (so broke I can’t even pay attention!). It will also be good in that it shall take me out of the house on a regular basis, and give me the opportunity to meet and get to know other people. Finally, it’s going to be good because I’ll be able to wheel a whole lot more. Yet, after the first couple days of intense joy at the prospect of this job, I am now finding myself in a bit of a blue zone.

I guess it’s more a continuation of the depression I’ve been going through in the last several months, though I’ll admit that it has lifted a little bit. The world isn’t all black now, and hasn’t been for a week or two. Instead, it’s a mid-hue shade of grey! I was really happy when I heard I was offered the job, and that feeling stayed for a couple days. I don’t think it’s a question of having cured depression, but it made a nice diversion. Now, it’s coming back. Working hard not to let it get to me. And honestly, as I start work, it’ll provide for good stuff too.

But I’ve come to enjoy the freedom of going to bed when I want because I can sleep in, of being able to take off and go see a movie in the afternoon if I want, or to go off to the nearest big city for a day. Funny, eh? When you have freedom, you don’t have resources, and when you have resources, you don’t usually have freedom! Ha! No matter, it’s for the best.

I will be wheeling a lot more, and that will be good for my morale as well I would think. I’ll have to get new tyres, mine are just about shot and the fact I wasn’t spending the entire day outside in the wheelchair meant I could use old worn out tyres. No more!

I couldn’t help thinking that this new job is rather inconvenient with any hare brained schemes I had of giving myself an SCI. It just wouldn’t do to to go and end up in rehab after a few weeks or months in a new job. Bit hard to explain to the employer why you need to do rehab when you’ve already been using a chair. Oh, there are ways, I know. Just not the most conducive way to ensure long term employment!