The first thing anyone learns in Buddhism are the Four Noble Truths. If Buddhism is a building, it is the ground upon which that building stands.

The first noble truth states, we all desire happiness, but hardly any of us truly attain it. To put it succinctly, life is suffering.

The second states that desire is the root of all suffering. What happens in life is we exist in reality, however our consciousness is not in harmony with reality. We can not accept what is (the status quo), and because of this we suffer. Our ability, often seen as innately human, to imagine a better life for ourselves, is exactly what causes us so much pain to begin with.

The third states that there is a way out of suffering. Here though is where I end with the Buddhism, the fourth is their way out of suffering and that kind of loses a lot of the plain facts of existence, and becomes a bit more religion.

Anyway, what I’m getting at is that there are ways out of this pain you’re feeling that don’t involve a severed spinal cord, or a wheelchair, or any of that. They involve rigorous mental training. Cognitive behavioral therapy is gaining momentum as a new form of therapy which may assist in mental illness without the use of drugs.

You see, when you have a thought or focus on something it creates a neural pathway. When you think about it again, that pathway gets reinforced. The more you think that thought the easier it becomes for your brain to process it. It is much like walking down a trail, the more you do it, the more worn in it becomes, and easier to travel.

If you can find an open minded cognitive behavioral therapist they can work with you on mental exercises to help circumvent these feelings and break free from this painful path. Recently it was found that meditation (not Buddhist meditation, just general meditation [though they did do a lot of research on Buddhists]), is a great aid doing such tasks, and it is currently being investigated by cognitive behavioral therapists.

I’m not trying to say that being a pretender is a bad thing, but to be honest it isn’t easy. You don’t have to look far in our community to find stories of anguish over not being paralyzed or something similar. I’m trying to show you that there is a way out, you’re not alone, and there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

I hope this helps.