Comments on: Protect me from people who live in la-la-land

By: Sean

Sean — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 03:05:57 +0000

Greg, I’m sorry to have disappointed you. The problem is not so much “not wanting what he wants”, as much as appearing to utterly superficial. Plus there were several flags throughout the conversation (and subsequent ones) that made me think he wasn’t completely honest with me.

I don’t see a problem if someone wants to have a conversation of fantasy and make-belief, as this guy clearly wanted. But, if you do so without ensuring that the person you’re talking to is on the same page, you are liable to cause problems for others. I have NO interest in pretenses. I’m interested in meaningful conversations. Doesn’t mean that I’m “dissing” those who like the pretense.

As for being in the same boat as I am, I actually don’t believe for a moment that this guy is in the same boat I am. As I said, he’s more enraptured at the *idea* of wanting to be disabled than he really does need to be disabled. He’s not the first character like that I’ve encountered. And if my assessment is wrong, he has my most abject apologies.

By: Greg

Greg — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 00:48:18 +0000

While I often agree with most of what is said between Sean/Claire on this website, I feel that this post directly contradicts another post where Sean calls for inclusion in the BIID/Amp and related communities….. Whilst I would agree and say that this individual is not of the utmost ’smarts’ when it comes to knowing what he wants…. I don’t fully know what I want either. of course I would like to be able to still get erect and have minimal bowl issues, but would I REALLY care if I had damage in the lumbar vs T-range? No. Do i even CARE enough to think about it? No - ive got more important things in my life. I find the conversation rather a riot as it appears to be all over the place (ie: i want a lap belt…. - okkkk?) BUt i dont think hes giving us a bad rap, and although I am much more shy then say Sean or Claire about using my chari in public, I at least am far more open about telling people…. I think you should be a little more considerate before ‘dissing’ people in the same/similar boat as you, even if they are ‘inferior’ and slightly dramatic/BS.

By: Brice

Brice — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 14:08:18 +0000

Sean and Claire, you have far more patience than I would. Two million karma points at least!

By: Gordo

Gordo — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 06:14:24 +0000

Whoa, Claire… That guy actually creeps me out. There’s asking questions out of curiosity and there’s…THAT.

I’m impressed at how you and Sean have handled those situations. I wonder if I’d be able to handle it so well (I’m guessing not).

By: Claire

Claire — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 01:34:22 +0000

My response to this post is here.

By: Sophie

Sophie — Sun, 06 Apr 2008 23:07:58 +0000

I used to get stuck talking to people like that online all the time. It’s why I’m never online, or if I am I’m either away or invisible.

By: Jen

Jen — Sun, 06 Apr 2008 12:43:06 +0000

I think you get about a million karma points for even talking to this person. I’ve had similar IM conversations directed my way, but not for a couple of years now, for which I am very grateful. They all seemed to come from the same mold, much like La-la’s.

Eesh.

By: ahab

ahab — Sun, 06 Apr 2008 10:17:30 +0000

I think these people like this mate you just met can make our lives more difficult than necessary. I see the problem that research will sooner or later have the problem to make a clear distinction who really suffers from BIID and who does not or who does suffer from other conditions.

I think it is not enough to say, having BIID means to need to be impaired. BIID is something different. To an outsider and to some researchers BIID is about the need to be impaired. Actually, I think BIID is more and is something different. This mate you met may have the need to be disabled only on his mind. To some doctors this already may be some mild form of BIID.

But I think this seems to more some kind of artificial disorder, also known as Munchhausen’s syndrome. These people seek for attention and the phantasy of being disabled may promise them to get this attention. But, this is not BIID. And there is a big danger, these people will be confused with “real” BIID sufferers. The best way to prevent any confusion would be to finally make clear what BIID really is about. We need a clear and tight definition of the nature of BIID. Unless there is such a clear definition of BIID we will have to face the danger of being confused with people like this guy for a very long time.