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Home / Thoughts / Pain, pain, pain, lov’ly pain…

Pain, pain, pain, lov’ly pain…

Written by Sean on Friday, May 26, 2006

I have a good understanding of pain. Yes, it’s been explained to me that the nerve pain is a bit like when you have a hand or an arm fall "asleep" and wakes up, the pins and needles, only, a 1,000-fold. I’ve read a lot, and talked to many people who had gone through the "SCI bit". I know, as much as anyone who hasn’t lived through it can know.

I also know that kind of knowledge is precarious, and that no matter how prepared I would be for the pain, it is unlikely that I would be ready for it.

I’m not particularly a wimp with pain. I’m not particularly stoic about it either, if it hurts, I’ll swear my fair share, whinge and dance around some. I sometimes think I make more noise about being in pain so people would notice I’m in pain, ask for a little sympathy (note that is unrelated to my need to use the chair, I’m not wheeling for sympathy!). Like… I hate being the one to suffer in silence and loneliness. But that’s beside the point, ain’t it? Fact is, when I’m alone, and in pain, well, I just grin and bear it.

But one might just think it’s because I’ve never really been in pain. Even though I’ve gone through some serious toothaches, migraine headaches, and broken bones. Those pains, I fear, just may not compare to a broken spine and damaged spinal cord. But I don’t know, I just have an intelectual knowledge of it all, which is, I’ll be the first to admit, not much knowledge at all in this case.

And then there’s the bit of lower back pain, and that in the left thigh that I’ve been having lately. Welcoming even. Ohh, again, nothing major, far from it. So where does one stop welcoming it, as a symbol of other things “to come” and starts wanting the pain to go away??? How come I have really messed up shoulders (not helped by wheeling I’m sure) and that pain isn’t so welcome at all? Bah, complications. Goes in the too hard basket for now.