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On a more positive note…
Written by Zoe on Friday, November 14, 2008
I’ve been reading Alain De Botton’s ‘The Consolations of Philosophy‘ lately. I have read it in the past, but I managed to pick up a cheap copy the other week and it has reminded me how much I liked it when I first read it.
The first chapter/part is entitled "the consolations of unpopularity" and focuses on the Socratic method and the life of Socrates.
One section struck me as particularly relevant to my current predicament. The author discusses the way in which Socrates challenged his contemporaries, and then (in part) concludes:
"The topics may have dated, but the underlying moral has not: other people may be wrong, even when they are in important positions, even when they are espousing beliefs held for centuries by vast majorities. And the reason is simple: they have not examined their beliefs logically."
Is this where we are? As a community, have we been given the gift of being able to examine these beliefs logically. And whilst our conclusions challenge our contemporaries - who is wrong? Are the one’s who maintain the belief that these feelings are wrong simply because they differ from all that’s come before, and are we more correct because we have logically questioned our beliefs in order to reach the conclusions that we have?
Are neither wrong - simply a product of our respective experiences? I personally prefer that answer - it gives me comfort. I have systematically and logically examined my thoughts and feelings on these issues, and I dont feel that I am wrong - different yes, wrong, no. Just as I respect the beliefs of others who have different opinions, I must respect my own beliefs and opinions. What I dont accept, or respect, is someone who would tell me who I am allowed to be merely because they have made no attempt to understand my point of view.
Tags: BIID, Community, Right, Socrates, Wrong
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5 Comments
2 On 14 November, 2008, Sean said:
I think part of the issue here is that there is such a negative bias against disabilities, it is so deeply rooted in people, even many who have disabilities themselves that it becomes a highly emotional topic. And it’s so emotional that most people are unable to access the logical, thinking part of their brain. They shortcircuit the process and go straight to “whoooaaa, no way”.
I think Sean has hit on a fundamental flaw in society which greatly impedes our being accepted. A large majority of friends I have told about my BIID have been understanding, compassionate, and supportive. The two friends I have lost over this clearly had a very negative view of disability in general.
I actually often wonder about the friends who don’t accept our BIID. Are they rejecting us because they don’t accept BIID, or are they rejecting us because they can’t handle being friends with someone with a “disability” that everyone can see? (ie. Are they more concerned about being friends with a wheelchair user?)
I really think most people simply can’t fathom that someone who seems otherwise quite perfectly sane and balanced would feel a need to acquire an impairment. Maybe scares them about what might be lurking in the remote corners of the minds of other people they know.
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1 On 14 November, 2008, Claire said:
Thanks for that, Zoe.
This is what I want for us. I want for us to examine why we feel what we feel, and why we do what we do…and really think about whether it is right or wrong.
On the surface, it all just seems so wrong, pretending, and wanting to be disabled. And, really, in a perfect world, it shouldn’t be. But if this is all the result of an illness - as indeed research is showing that it is - then there is more going on than what appears on the surface.
I care, very, very much, what the world thinks of us, both the disabled community and the world at large. Sometimes I just want to scream, “Okay, so it’s weird, but just LISTEN to me!” I’m not right in the head, and I’m trying to fix that, but until I do, I need to wheel, to be as right in the head as possible. Just allow me that. But they won’t, you know, because they haven’t educated themselves, or examined their beliefs. Maybe they haven’t had the chance to.
It takes a long time to get there.