Blog > Thoughts > Other's Thoughts > Zoe's thoughts > It’s been a long time
It’s been a long time
Written by Zoe on Tuesday, October 14, 2008
It has been a long time since i’ve even looked at my blog – see the thing is, i did tell my husband, but he didnt react kindly to my situation. In fact, he made me feel so deviant and insane that i’ve spent the next 3 or so months trying to forget that i even had these feelings in the first place.
But, as those of you who know, know, these feelings arent just something you can switch off because you want to. In fact, i tend to think that the more you ignore them, the stronger that they get.
And so here i am. I tried to move on with my life, i tried to forget i’d ever broached the subject with my husband. Though i have to say, i did try on subsequent occassions to raise the issue with him – to sort of clarify the things i didnt feel i’d made clear in the first place – but he wasnt interested – he just completely clammed up.
But recently i’ve had some feedback that has made me think that i’m not so alone. That perhaps, what i’m thinking is not so strange, that perhaps there are other people out there who think the same way i do – and that it’s not so wrong.
I would encourage anyone to reach out and see what might come back to them. I certainly thought that what I had to say had been said before, and by people much more eloquent that i. I also still felt so alone, so completely weird and strange and odd and deviant, even after reading much on the net to reassure myself i wasnt alone, i still felt wrong.
But, the only answer for that is for all of us to stand up and say – so what – i dont care what you think, i’m just being honest about the way my brain works. So, it might work a little different to yours, but so what, am i hurting you, have i caused you some irrecoverable sorrow, does the way my brain works and thinks impact upon your everyday life?
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