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Blog > Thoughts > Other's Thoughts > Zoe's thoughts > (Dis)Ability

(Dis)Ability

Written by Zoe on Sunday, June 22, 2008

I am disabled, just not in the way i need to be.

The dictionary defines disability, as an inability.  And, my inability, is to fall pregnant.  This is not new for me, it’s not like the smoking gun that the unbelievers would like to think explains all of this. 

But, i’ve come to realise lately that we all have our burdens to bear, and mine is to try to be a woman who cant bear children.  

My question is, how different is that to a man/woman who wants to walk but cant?   I honestly feel most of the time that, so what, a lot of women dont have children, it’s not the be all and end all.  But, the point is, that i desperately want to have a child. 

But, i think that’s the point… I just want to get on with my life… I know, that the traditional way is not going to be my way, but, i still dont think that it’s beyond my reach, i just have to go about it a different way, by for example, adopting or fostering children.

And the thing is, who would ever look at a person and say, well, they are disabled, because they are infertile, but, by definition, they are disabled because they have an inability which deviates from the norm.  But whilst people view using a wheelchair as a disabilty, they dont view infertility as a disabilty.  But i would argue that they are very similar, because as an infertile woman, i desperately want be able to have a child, and i would wager that i want this no less than a paraplegic wants to walk.

As a woman, it should be my god given right to bear a child.   As a human with two legs, it should by my god given right to walk on those two legs just like everyone else….

But can I say that not being able to do one is worse than the other?  Not being able to bear the children that your womb was designed to hold, or not being able use the legs that God gave you to walk upon – why is one perceived to be worse than the other?  And, is one really worse than the other, or is is simply a matter of social conditioning?

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