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An Out-of-state Adventure

Written by Sylvie on Monday, July 5, 2010

I went out of town recently, just to get away from my day-to-day life. I booked a room in a hotel in the middle of the city and during the drive there, had a conversation with myself.

In the back seat of my car were my wheelchair and my crutches. Was I going to deal with the wheelchair all weekend long? I know I’m not very strong and it would be slow going, if not impossible going, by myself.

I set up a boundary for myself – however I presented myself once I passed the state line was how I would be for the rest of the weekend.

When I pulled into the hotel valet parking area, I was met by the majordomo there who saw the chair in the back and as I stepped out of the car, said, "Take your time, ma’am. Take your time." I picked up the crutches from the back seat, put on my back pack and went into the hotel.

It was relief not to have to deal with my car for the rest of the time. Once in the hotel, I checked in, was asked if I needed assistance with my baggage. (No, thank you. I have a therapist for that.)

And there I was for the weekend.

In the past, I haven’t had much interaction with people when I’ve been out on crutches. Although I’ve gotten into conversations with people, no one has ever asked me about my situation. This time was different. I was asked twice within four hours.

I told the truth. That I have spinal injuries that are eased when I used crutches. The first morning, I realized how true that was. The back pain and hip pain that usually plague me in the morning were nowhere around.

The first time I was asked, I was surprised that the question had come up, simply because I had never been asked before. I was startled enough to answer without thinking. BIID didn’t enter into it, but the other half of the truth did.

The second time was at the hotel bar. There were a couple of women my age sitting near me and before long, we were all talking and laughing at the foibles of companies we had in common. One woman went to answer the phone and the other leaned over to me confidentially and asked, "What happened?"

I told her that I’d had a cycling accident.

She tsked. What a shame! At least I wasn’t in a wheelchair, she said.

"I have one in my car," I said. "I decided not to use it here because it’s just too complicated." Yes, it’s a luxury I know I have.

She looked sad and asked me if I would eventually do away with crutches and wheelchair.

"It looks very doubtful," I said.

She stopped short of telling me how heroic I was.

In my room again later, I had to remind myself that I couldn’t go traipsing around the lobby like a Balanchine ballerina. The crutches, which were helping more than I realized, were mine for the weekend. And as it turned out, I was glad to have them.

My sightseeing was done mostly by taxi. I spent a lot of time in my room, resting and relishing my freedom from everyday cares, knowing that all too soon, they’d be on my shoulders again.

In retrospect, I know that I will take my chair into the hotel on future trips. Just having it to sit in, in the room gives me physical and emotional comfort. I was so frazzled by the time I reached my destination that I could barely think.

I also know that I simply can’t let myself go too long between trips. Sanity came in just as quietly as it left and I don’t want it to go missing again. I needed the trip more than I thought.

I also realize that I distrust the chair, which practically crumbled under me the last time I used it. If I go out and about in it, I’ll give it a thorough going-over myself and will try to drag someone else along with me.

Also, I noticed that people have been surprised that I travel alone. But on this trip, no one remarked on it.

I may soon be forced to use crutches at work. The pain in my hip and back aren’t going away. I’ve recently incurred a big wad of debt and my health insurance won’t pay for the MRI the doctor ordered. It’s ironic that my pets have better health coverage than I do.

So it goes.

 

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One Comment

1 On 5 July, 2010, Chloe said:

Avatar for Chloe

What really strikes me about this is the sweet innocence of what we do to keep our sanity. Thank you, Sylvie.

 

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