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Study Options
Written by Sophie on Friday, March 12, 2010
Once again my friends (especially Sean…helpful fulla he is) have challenged me to expand my options and consider other universities and I’ve ended up feeling indecisive and it all comes down to where I want to live. My plans so far are to leave home in 2011 and go study and not screw up again.
I need to live somewhere where I can afford the accommodation costs, so that rules out Auckland. I want a fresh start and pretty much everywhere else is free game. I need a 4 sided coin to flip or something… But then I know I wouldn’t be happy with the choice it decides for me. It’s so annoying, I know what course I want to study, I just don’t know where to do it.
Accommodation… Aheadache. I won’t be able to afford to live on my own, there’s no way of getting around this. And despite this fact I’m still terrified I’m going to end up with another evil Chinese landlady. And living with others will mean I’ll have no room for mistakes and will definitely be wheeling full time. And that means finding a flat that is at least liveable with a wheelchair and since when was student accommodation wheelchair friendly? Most flats in NZ are 1940s villas that investors have bought for a few extra $$ each month. Making it nice and making it inhabitable are two totally different things and I can already hear the inwards groans when people realise the wheelchair girl wants to go flatting with people she doesn’t know.
These accommodation things are all issues that people with SCIs battle every day, I know that. They also have a heck of a lot more to back up the fact that yes they really do need things…and they usually have their parents support on it. I don’t exactly have that. I may be 24 but I’m still at the same crossroads 18 year olds are at when they leave high school.
Late Addition: I told Dad yesterday while we were both outside about my current thought process with trying to decide where I should study. I explained to him the reasons why certain places weren’t appealing and that one place was looking like the best option. He came into my bedroom later and said to me "I think that place would be a good place for you to go. It’s central, flat and you’ll be able to take the train to get home when you need to." He had my wheeling in mind when he said that too. He once again reiterated to me that I’m his daughter, he only wants me to be happy and I’ll always have his support. I feel like a hydro dam with a tap at the bottom because predictably I started crying again. It just makes me so happy, it feels like the sacrifice of following their rules was worth it. Having one parent’s 100% support is better than no support at all and I feel like I can finally be myself around Dad when Mum isn’t around.
Tags: BIID, Parent, Study, Support, Wheelchair
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7 Comments
Response to sophie.biid could be argued as a disability,which could make you eligable for public housing for the elderly and the disabled.which would be wheelchair acessable and rent would be cheap if not free.i know nothing of nz law,but in the usa you would be eliglable for free housing,and nz,aus and europe are usualy more liberal than usa
3 On 12 March, 2010, Sean said:
@howard, the problem with this approach is that BIID is not really officially recognised anywhere. You could argue the case ’till your blue in the face, but you’d be more likely get a note made in your record and be “blacklisted” for life. Things MAY change if BIID gets into the DSM5
@Sophie Maybe you could do a ring or email around the places for where you wish to study and ask what sort of accessiblty in regards to accomadation are availble.
Some may have cheap student flats witch could be suitable
Hi Sophie. I know UK law and systems are different than NZ but here all universities have to provide a certain percentage accessible accomodation. Unfortunately they tend to do this by building a block for the disabled students and then seperately they build loads for the AB students. I’m not entirely sure that I’d want to live in a block that was all disabled srudents anyway.
My point is that in the UK the universities have to provide it.
I don’t know what sort of proof would be required to get into the accessible accomodation but I don’t think they are allowed to ask too many questions.
Could you get your doctor to write a supporting letter containg very little information if you needed it?
Best wishes, I hope it all works out for you.
Sophie – I wish we could be roommates because I’m in a similar boat! Unfortunately something tells me we’re not in the same neck of the woods.
Don’t any of the schools you’re considering have some sort of consideration for people with disabilities? Have you contacted the schools you’re considering to ask if they have accessible housing? If they have it you could ask (under a false name if you’re more comfortable) what sort of documentation you’ll need to provide to get accessible housing. You could even ask if the accessible housing is in high demand or possibly explain that your condition doesn’t require you to use a chair all the time and that you’d prefer to make your own arrangements if you’d be taking someone else’s spot.
As for me, my situation is a bit different. I do not currently wheel in public, but I plan to in the future, and therefore need to find an accessible apartment inside and out. This is extremely difficult in my area, as it is in yours.
In addition, because I am/was still trying to figure out all this BIID stuff, when I moved to a new area I decided to live alone. This wasn’t a financially smart decision at all, and I’ve dug into my savings quite a bit because of it, but it simply wasn’t possible to wheel with a roommate around, at least without explanations I wasn’t ready to provide.
I’m still in this situation. I’m moving soon, and I want a roommate – both for financial and social reasons – except for the fact that I have a need to practice wheeling. I even have several acquaintances I could be happy living with. However, the thought of suppressing the BIID, lying about my need for a wheelchair, or telling a mere acquaintance the truth are equally impossible in my mind. Catch-22.
Dear Anonymous,
if you have acquaintances who are not your friends yet, it might be actually easier to come out as you wouldn’t be losing a friend in case of rejection.
So far my experience is that if a person is very narrow minded, there is a good chance of rejection. If the person is very little judgmental (try to find out their ideas about homosexuality and transsexuality and their attitude toward disability first) then there is a good chance they would be fine with it.
When you talk about BIID, it’s important to stress that wheeling is not a lifestyle choice but a way of managing BIID and that you understand that life with disability is more difficult because of physical limitations and people’s attitude, yet it might be the way for you to take.
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1 On 12 March, 2010, Phil said:
Decisionmaking was and is a big problem for me, too. (Maybe also because of this big unresolved issue called BIID.)
Before I decided to study, a friend said to me: “It is not so important, for what you decide, it is more important THAT you decide.”
You never can know what comes out before you have tried it. There is no “right” or “wrong”. And even if it turns out as wrong, you can change places etc.
Which place has the best climate for you? Where do you find people the most open-minded and friendly? Where do you like the city and the nature around most?
Everything new is an adventure.
And you could just go to one or two of the places where you would like to study and look for a flat/room which is wheelchair accessible. And then go to the place where you find a nice flat.
Good luck!