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Standing Up To Mum, One Discussion At A Time
Written by Sophie on Friday, July 9, 2010
As I’ve said before I’ve been spending time with Gwen talking and praying about stuff. I’d told Gwen right at my first meeting with her about my BIID and she made sure I knew that she understood what it meant to have your brain telling you something that makes no sense whatsoever. She’s never tried to trivialise this part of my life but she did have a secret suspicion that my BIID would become easier to manage once I’d started dealing with my other problems. She was right.
I’m still transabled, but it isn’t as big an issue as making things right with God is. I’ve also said in a previous post it’s a relief to know that my current existence is like the blink of an eye for God and that I’m not always going to be plagued by the state of my physical body. Gwen has told me several times she isn’t ignoring my BIID and when the time is right we’re going to be praying and talking about it along with some other deep stuff to try and prevent it from coming back up again.
Mum and I had tea tonight at McDonalds. Dad’s gone away for the weekend and Mum’s going away tomorrow morning to some womens’ thing. Mum asked me "Have you and Gwen been dealing with ‘that wheelchair thing’? Does Gwen know about ‘that wheelchair thing’?" I told her that "I’m still transabled, it’s unlikely to ever go away (yes I feel like a broken record). Gwen knows about my BIID and she says we’ll be praying over it when we feel the time is right. She understands and knows what it’s like to have your brain telling you something that doesn’t make sense. Regardless of what lifestyle decisions I make God will be a part of those decisions. I’m a big girl now and I can decide these things for myself."
Mum then went off to get herself a sundae and when she returned I continued, "Mum, can you do me a favour? Please stop referring to BIID as ‘that wheelchair thing’. It makes me feel like I have something to be ashamed about when I don’t. I like who I am as a person and every time you call it ‘that wheelchair thing’ it makes me feel like my self esteem isn’t worth it."
I think Mum was a little surprised by that request. She did clarify though what I wanted her to call it so fingers crossed she’ll start using the term BIID. Some people don’t like the term BIID but it’s a lot better than ‘that wheelchair thing’. I didn’t give her exactly the answer she wanted to hear but I hope that she got at least some solace from it knowing I’m not just making these decisions based on my own knowledge and understanding any more but I’m listening to God’s will for my life too. I don’t think anything is going to change round the home. It’s still going to be the elephant in the corner of the room but I do feel the confidence to stand up for myself now that I’m proud of who I am, and I know God’s proud of me.
Tags: BIID, God, Mother, Wheelchair
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4 Comments
2 On 10 July, 2010, Sean said:
Has your mother stopped saying “that wheelchair thing”? I believe you were right calling her up on it. And keep calling her up on it. It is so depersonalising and trivialising. That has got to hurt.
*hugs*
3 On 10 July, 2010, Sophie said:
She only brings the subject up once every 6 months or so when she thinks she’s gonna get the answer she wants so I can’t say whether she’s stopped saying it yet.
It does hurt, I think it was her way of trying to keep it from being an issue in her life that she has to deal with.
BIID is indeed NOT something to be ashamed of. Good for you for making that clear to your mum.
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1 On 10 July, 2010, Sophie said:
Everything went back to normal like I predicted it would, I guess it’s better than Mum being upset with me all the time.