Comments on: My Latest GP Visit

By: Phil

Phil — Fri, 05 Mar 2010 00:32:42 +0000

I’m afraid I repeat myself, but it fits so good:

Sometimes when I use the wheelchair I am so happy I could jump up and dance.

At home sometimes I really do.

So paradoxical is my BIID.

By: Chloe

Chloe — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 21:43:23 +0000

@Elisabeth: I definitely get more looks with braces and crutches than I do in a wheelchair. Even with my standard presentation of wheelchair plus left leg brace, it is the brace that gets stared at, not the wheelchair.

By: Elisabeth

Elisabeth — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 20:51:20 +0000

Gordo, the same with me. Without a wheelchair, I let men be all gentlemanny, but when wheeling, I let only my male friends, not male strangers, open the door for me.
As for attention, I am surprised how invisible I am to many people, the void look they give me. Does that happen to those of you who use crutches or braces?

By: Sean

Sean — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 05:43:32 +0000

@Elisabeth, I have the feeling your husband cannot comprehend that a wheelchair user could be independent, and therefore thinks you use a wheelchair just to get attention and help and being taken care of.

By: Elisabeth

Elisabeth — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 02:46:29 +0000

@ Sophie: Thank you for your offer. Can you just leave a quick note at one of my posts for an easy access to your email? Thank you!

By: Sophie

Sophie — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 02:25:29 +0000

no worries about venting, we all have bad days. Email me if you want to chat :)

By: Elisabeth

Elisabeth — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 02:22:07 +0000

Interesting. My husband is a nurse, a very good one, working in a nursing home. He has a job I could never do, too depressing for me. I don’t have the compassion. Yet, when I need a little compassion and understanding for my mental illness, his argument is that he has plenty of crazy ladies in the nursing home who want others to take care of them while they are perfectly capable of doing so. What is the relevance to my BIID? I have no clue. I want to be an independent person with an impairment.
Sorry, I just have a bad day and need to complain about my non-supportive husband. I guess my lack of compassion toward him and his narrow-mindedness shows, huh?

By: Sophie

Sophie — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 02:09:56 +0000

Isn’t it always the way? The doctors who seem a little less touch feely are always the ones who make you feel the most comfortable about sharing your problems. My mum doesn’t like our GP because she says he’s too cold but I like him because it means he respects what I have to say and doesn’t judge me. That said though I’ve only ever dealt with one touch feely doctor and he made me feel uncomfortable…could just be that I wasn’t used to it.

By: Elisabeth

Elisabeth — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 00:35:45 +0000

I have to memorize that sentence: “It’s easier to get through the day if I use a wheelchair”.
It’s nice that your GP is so understanding. Sorry about your mum. I have similar problem with my husband. He is very much passive aggressive, so he is very mad at me now but won’t say it in words, just his looks. He is mad that I go out with the kids, wheeling. He will tell the kids things like: “I don’t understand why that mother of yours uses a wheelchair”. Grrr! My kids, on the other hand, love my chair, use it often at home, one of my kids would love a wheelchair but there is no way, my husband would kill me.

Sophie, you are right, you don’t have to tell people about your BIID. Your answer is perfect (I say neurological instead of degenerative). The more I am around people with disabilities, the more I love their non-intrusiveness. No PWD ever asked me about my reason for using a wheelchair. They might ask about my abilities, if I can drive a car with my feet or if I can use my leg muscles for holding a cup because the topic came up during our conversation. Person first, disability second, that’s their mantra. So liberating.