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My Latest GP Visit
Written by Sophie on Thursday, March 4, 2010
I wasn’t originally going to my GP to talk about BIID or any of that. Work and Income had decided some of my evidence wasn’t acceptable (after making me wait 2 hours for an appointment, leading me to believe all was fine and then sending me a letter a few days later telling me otherwise) and I had to get my GP to fill out another medical certificate (the one he’d filled out was going to expire in one month).
My GP kind of uses these medical certificate appointments as catch up times. He asks me how the job hunt went, how I am, that sort of thing. Today he asked me how things are at home with my BIID. I told him Mum still thinks BIID can be cured if I work hard enough at it. Dad seems to know the truth that it isn’t going to go away like that and tries is utmost to stop Mum from dragging me into those discussions. It’s only going to end up in tears for both of us. My GP summed it up as "the wall that isn’t there" or "the elephant in the room".
I also told him today that I intend on using my wheelchair when I go and study. I told him "I’m not going to lie to people but I’m not going to tell them about my BIID either" and he thought that was wise considering most people wouldn’t be able to even grasp the reality of BIID. I told him "I’m an adult now and I can make my own life decisions. I’m not hurting anyone else and using a wheelchair increases my quality of life a great deal. If people want to know why I use a wheelchair I tell them I have a degenerative illness and it’s easier to get through the day if I use a wheelchair. As my friend said online I’m not using a wheelchair to treat paralysis, I’m using a wheelchair to treat BIID and that is just as much a valid reason as anything else!"
I’m really hoping this is opening a doorway for me to ask further down the track if he has any suggestions for making my move smoother with being a full time wheeler. I’m not stupid though and I know there’s a high chance he won’t be able to offer any helpful advice in that regard.
It’s nice to know he at least understands what I’m going through and that wheeling is a valid option.
Tags: BIID, GP, Wheelchair
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10 Comments
2 On 4 March, 2010, Sophie said:
Isn’t it always the way? The doctors who seem a little less touch feely are always the ones who make you feel the most comfortable about sharing your problems. My mum doesn’t like our GP because she says he’s too cold but I like him because it means he respects what I have to say and doesn’t judge me. That said though I’ve only ever dealt with one touch feely doctor and he made me feel uncomfortable…could just be that I wasn’t used to it.
Interesting. My husband is a nurse, a very good one, working in a nursing home. He has a job I could never do, too depressing for me. I don’t have the compassion. Yet, when I need a little compassion and understanding for my mental illness, his argument is that he has plenty of crazy ladies in the nursing home who want others to take care of them while they are perfectly capable of doing so. What is the relevance to my BIID? I have no clue. I want to be an independent person with an impairment.
Sorry, I just have a bad day and need to complain about my non-supportive husband. I guess my lack of compassion toward him and his narrow-mindedness shows, huh?
4 On 4 March, 2010, Sophie said:
no worries about venting, we all have bad days. Email me if you want to chat :)
@ Sophie: Thank you for your offer. Can you just leave a quick note at one of my posts for an easy access to your email? Thank you!
6 On 4 March, 2010, Sean said:
@Elisabeth, I have the feeling your husband cannot comprehend that a wheelchair user could be independent, and therefore thinks you use a wheelchair just to get attention and help and being taken care of.
What’s funny enough is that when I am wheeling, I feel more initiative to take care of myself instead of letting people help, and I want to be as invisible as possible.
That really kicks the “just to get attention” and “being taken care of” thing in the ass, doesn’t it?
Gordo, the same with me. Without a wheelchair, I let men be all gentlemanny, but when wheeling, I let only my male friends, not male strangers, open the door for me.
As for attention, I am surprised how invisible I am to many people, the void look they give me. Does that happen to those of you who use crutches or braces?
@Elisabeth: I definitely get more looks with braces and crutches than I do in a wheelchair. Even with my standard presentation of wheelchair plus left leg brace, it is the brace that gets stared at, not the wheelchair.
10 On 5 March, 2010, Phil said:
I’m afraid I repeat myself, but it fits so good:
Sometimes when I use the wheelchair I am so happy I could jump up and dance.
At home sometimes I really do.
So paradoxical is my BIID.
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1 On 4 March, 2010, Elisabeth said:
I have to memorize that sentence: “It’s easier to get through the day if I use a wheelchair”.
It’s nice that your GP is so understanding. Sorry about your mum. I have similar problem with my husband. He is very much passive aggressive, so he is very mad at me now but won’t say it in words, just his looks. He is mad that I go out with the kids, wheeling. He will tell the kids things like: “I don’t understand why that mother of yours uses a wheelchair”. Grrr! My kids, on the other hand, love my chair, use it often at home, one of my kids would love a wheelchair but there is no way, my husband would kill me.
Sophie, you are right, you don’t have to tell people about your BIID. Your answer is perfect (I say neurological instead of degenerative). The more I am around people with disabilities, the more I love their non-intrusiveness. No PWD ever asked me about my reason for using a wheelchair. They might ask about my abilities, if I can drive a car with my feet or if I can use my leg muscles for holding a cup because the topic came up during our conversation. Person first, disability second, that’s their mantra. So liberating.