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More To Think About
Written by Sophie on Thursday, February 5, 2009
I had an appointment with the senior clinical psychologist today at my local hospital. This was in follow up to a referral that my GP sent him. Initially I thought yesterday was today and I got myself lost for 20 mins trying to find the place, then killed another 20 minutes waiting for an appointment that wasn’t going to happen. That made me look really bright I’m sure.
The Psychologist seemed like a nice guy. It was an older man and he’d done some research on BIID and what methods helped in treating it before our appointment. He agreed that trying to get rid of my BIID wasn’t possible, and he also reinforced the fact that no doctor or surgeon in NZ would operate on me.
He asked a lot of questions as you would expect. He had me recount my childhood and the major events in my life, asked me what my long term goals are (at this point I don’t really have any as I’ve been trying to think about paying off my debts first). He also asked me why I post here at Transabled.org. He asked me why I find it helpful to post here. It was a hard question because I can’t really say I come here to feel better because all of us know we aren’t going to cure ourselves coming here. He also asked me about things like my weight loss attempts and my visits with the dietician.
He’s thinking at this point the way forward is to put me on antidepressants (or something similar) to try and control my over emotionalness (I’ve always been an emotional girl) and then try and treat the symptoms of BIID rather than trying to treat the BIID itself. He says my circumstances aren’t likely to drastically change in the near future and I need to learn to live with the fact that I’m an able bodied person who isn’t a paraplegic, justlike paraplegics have to deal with the fact that they can’t walk. He’s also suggested that I bring my Dad to an appointment since he’s the one that I have been open to about going to the hospital.
I have another appointment in two weeks once he’s talked to a psyciatrist about what meds he thinks I should go on. After I’m at the point where I’m not crying every time I talk about BIID related stuff he’ll start talking to me about other treatments he has in mind. I figure it doesn’t hurt to try his way of doing things, at least then it’ll show on my records that I tried to do something.
Tags: Anti-Depressants, BIID, Hospital, Paraplegic, Psychologist
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4 Comments
Hi Sophie
To second Becs, be wary of taking your dad to an appoointment unless you feel very sure it’s what you want. No clinician should pressure you into bringing along a relative.
And anti depressants won’t necessarily impact on feeling tearful or general mood swings. They treat things like sleep disturbance, anxiety, poor seratonin levels and low energy. You might prefer a mood stabiliser, but again don’t assume it is a panacea – all these meds have major side effects and are not to be used lightly (believe me I know;)). Beware of being prescribed them just because the doctor/psychologist is not sure what else to offer.
Tears are a natural result of discussing something that you have been struggling with for a long while. They will pass in time.
3 On 5 February, 2009, Sophie said:
Thank you, the fact is I don’t talk about my BIID with people in real life that often so I do tend to start crying when I do.
This sounds like good stuff, Sophie. I hope something helps, even if just a little bit.
My crying was completely out of control before I started on Prozac. Now I cry more appropriately, which is still most days but that’s normal for me. As for crying when you talk about BIID, I think that’s a good thing. I’ve had a lot of psychotherapy over the last seven years, and I can’t remember a single session in which I didn’t cry. It always felt like I had faced up to something when I started crying. I wouldn’t be surprised if you had a LOT of tears to shed over BIID. Let it all out girl! My close friend, who is a psychotherapist, deliberately tries to make her clients cry sometimes as a psychotherapeutic tool.
As for your Dad accompanying you, that’s entirely your decision based on what YOU think will be helpful. I brought my partner with me just for my first session talking about BIID. That was simply because I feel much less nervous talking about it if she is with me.
Regarding coming to transabled.org, I would agree that it doesn’t make my BIID any better at all. However, it does make some things better that are a consequence of having BIID.
I’m glad you had what seems like a good first session with this psychologist, Sophie. Keep us posted.
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1 On 5 February, 2009, Becs said:
Sophie, as someone who has been on antidepressants for years, the point of these meds is not to flatline your emotions. If your moods cycle from very high to very low, the meds will help bring them to within a range where you don’t feel helpless over your emotions.
Keep in mind that not every med works for every person the same way. I know of several who cannot tolerate Prozac. I never had a problem with it. The reason for therapy and meds for you may be to help you get to a point where you’re more independent and feel more in control of your own life, transabled or not.
Your dr. sounds remarkably open-minded. However, I do wonder why he wants your father to accompany you. I would ask more questions about this if I were you, as it seems your family has not been helpful.
Good luck.