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Labels
Written by Sophie on Wednesday, July 21, 2010
It’s getting harder and harder not to use labels in life. We all like the idea of using labels, it would mean we’d fit into something easy and predictable compared to what the norm actually is. In regards to BIID although specific labels are argued, a lot of us are happy to put ourselves under a label if it means we get the help we need, we consider labels a means to an end.
Labels are getting me all confused lately. Let’s take the label "Disabled". Ironically being transabled we feel we need our bodies to take a form that others would consider disabling. Sean and I have both posted in the past the difference between impairments and disabilities but it still seems to cause me no end of grief.
I’ve been unemployed for quite a while now, at this point I’d think my lack of experience has prevented me from getting a permanent job, not my impairments. My Mum is an emotional person, she doesn’t think about issues logically, she’s so desperate for me to get a job now that it feels like she doesn’t use common sense when I’m struggling with things (like my latest issue). It’s been suggested today that I look at a grant but when I found the information for it on it’s official website that "If you have a significant disability and you believe it is preventing you from getting a job" you would be eligible, but here’s my problem. I’ve never considered myself as disabled. My hands shaking are a minor nuisance, and I can’t take jobs in factories or supermarkets any more because of my ruined feet, but they don’t affect my ability to do the non-standing jobs that I apply for. Yes, I could argue that I’m eligible for this grant but ultimately I would feel like I were lying and it would only be for a temporary job.
Gwen said last Monday that I’m rather negative and critical about myself. She said she would love to have a glimpse into my mind just to hear the things I say to myself. I truly feel the one thing I’m not negative about is the physical state of my body, I am a nut job but I’m currently not disabled. Yes, I know a lot of people have told me I’m capable of more than what I’m applying for skill wise (that I’m limiting myself), but I’m going through a stage in my life now where I’m open to being better than what I think I am and I’m waiting to learn what those other things are. I don’t want to rush into applying for a grant where I feel I’d be lying to get it to get a temp job ultimately feeling like I’ve not given myself the chance to learn what my other options are. I’ve been feeling lately like I’ve been unemployed for so long because there have been issues in my life that I hadn’t worked through that I am now. It sounds weird but I’m liking working through these issues and I don’t want to cut the process short prematurely, I know I’m not going to get another chance at this.
Am I making any sense? What would you do in my situation?
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3 Comments
2 On 21 July, 2010, Sophie said:
I have flat feet and I used to work 12 hour shifts in a factory packing petfood. I can’t stand longer than 15 minutes now before I start getting horrible pain in my feet and in the 3 or so years since I’ve worked there the pain hasn’t lessened. Inserts haven’t helped, some people argue they don’t because I don’t want them to but I don’t think they really understand me at all. Pain is one of those subjective things that people don’t really believe if they either can’t see it or haven’t experienced it for themselves. But then I know you already know that Chloe :)
3 On 21 July, 2010, Sean said:
You *are* talking about the difference between impairment and disability :) The disability comes from outside. You’re only impaired until someone else decides you’re unable to do your job because of that impairment – at that point you are disabled.
As for applying for help on the basis of a disability – I understand you’d not feel good about that. But if you do get a job through it, your self-esteem will increase a LOT by being self-sufficient, and also by getting your mother off your back. I’d say go for it. You DO have a genuine physical condition that has been documented and is impossible to deny. Don’t let your view of yourself get in the way of your success!
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1 On 21 July, 2010, Chloe said:
A problem with labels is that they can lead us into false dichotomies. The reality is that being disabled is not an either/or situation. Everybody on the planet is disabled in some regard. Everybody on the planet is able to do something. When does a minor nuisance become a disability? The boxes with which we categorise the world are very useful for processing our thoughts, and communicating with others. However, it is a thinking error to suppose that they are real.
Are you or are you not disabled? There is no meaningful answer, because the question itself is ultimately devoid of meaning. You can choose to use the label or not, as you see fit.
What you say about working through your issues in lieu of working at a job makes total sense to me, The last year in which I worked full time was 2002. I have never had a completely jobless year, but I have come to realise that the extra time has been extremely valuable in terms of processing a bunch of psychological issues. Now I’m ready to fully engage the work ethic again.
To be honest, what I would do in your situation is whatever it takes to fully engage the wheelchair again.
By the way, how did you ruin your feet? You probably addressed this somewhere, but I wasn’t sure where to look.