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I Finally Have Something Good To Write About!
Written by Sophie on Thursday, January 8, 2009
Well the day finally arrived! I finally have something positive to say! That’s important to me as lately it feels like all I’ve been doing is moaning.
I had my GP appointment today and it was at 8:30 am. So I got up at 7:50 am (for some reason my dratted alarm clock hates me and refuses to work when it actually matters) and rushed to mum’s computer to print off a copy of my last post here and a copy of the summary of Dr First’s initial study to show the doctor. I had to print them on mum’s computer as it’s the only printer in the house. I then jumped in my car and drove down to the doctor’s office, the entire way thoughts were rushing into my head. Possibilities.
At my appointment after getting my first two issues out of the way (a med cert for my sickness benefit and asking him why my feet have been swollen for a month) I took a deep breath and started telling him:
"I’ve been wanting to talk to you about this for a while but I haven’t because I’ve been scared of what your reaction will be and I know you can’t do anything to help"
I then gave him all the bits of paper I’d brought with me including a letter Dr First was kind enough to write for me. After reading the letter (he seemed surprised that I knew Dr First well enough to get a letter from him) and reading the first half of my post he asked me why I was talking about GID. I explained to him that I was drawing in similarities between GID and BIID and no I didn’t have any problems with my gender. He then started asking me a lot of questions aiming towards why I have BIID. In summary I ended up telling him I had had no contact with wheelchair users or paraplegics growing up, no profound life experiences exposing me to spinal cord injuries and no one in a wheelchair that I idolised or wanted to imitate.
After that he started asking questions as to why my need was so specific. I have no idea why I need to be exactly a T12 para and not someone with MS or something like that. I told him how amputee BIID sufferers could tell him exactly where their leg/s or arm/s were supposed to end and they wouldn’t be able to tell him why.
After a lot of questions from him he finally gave me his thoughts on the subject. I can only assume he asked all those questions to try and get a firm grasp of what I was showing him before he decided to do anything. He revealed to me that he had seen something similar to my case before. One of the other doctors at the clinic had a patient once who felt the right side of his body should be paralysed. He didn’t give enough details for me to summise whether it was BIID or not but he said I said a lot of similar things to that other patient. He decided that "curing" or trying to get rid of my BIID thoughts wasn’t the answer. It simply wasn’t going to happen. At the same time surgery will never happen, we both knew why. He did however think that trying to get me as close to my body image as possible without taking that "final step" was in the books and my best chance to try and live a turbullant free life (I had told him about the time I’d spent living and working as a wheeler). So he then asked if it was ok if he kept all the bits of paper I’d given him so he could send it with a referral to the mental health team at the local hospital. He warned me that it will be a while before I hear anything back about it as it is such a specialized case. He also made comments indication that I would be following a similar process to GID patients with the mental health team. I’m not sure what he meant by that but I’m hoping it was a good thing. Then he thanked me for talking to him about this and sent me on my way.
Tags: BIID, Doctor, GID, Mental Health
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11 Comments
That sounds great Sophie! I’m very happy that you had a good experience.
This is good to hear, Sophie, especially as your doctor related what you told him to another similar case. This is encouraging to us all, indeed! Keep us informed of any further developments, will you?
This sounds like a step in the right direction for you Sophie.
Yes I was also told that the next stage is a psychiatric test which would be similar to one for someone with GID.
6 On 9 January, 2009, Claire said:
I’m so happy for you! Please do keep us informed on what happens next. LOL, I probably don’t have to say that, huh? It seems that most of us are having positive experiences with our GPs. I have been very lucky, and so have Sean and Chloe.
Has anyone had a bad experience with their GP?
Glad to hear things went so well, Sophie!
I’ve had bad experiences, but nothing related to BIID.
8 On 10 January, 2009, Sophie said:
I’ll try to keep you guys posted but so far nothing has happened yet.
I’d be very careful who you tell Gordo. If your parents are still legally responsible for you you may have trouble getting anyone to understand your point rather than your parents’ point of view.
Hi Sophie,
congratulations for you! You had the courage. Alone that is so important and does so good.
My GP also asked a lot of questions. He didn\’t say he has understood it or a theory about it. It\’s usual that he asks me what I think, and he often says, only I myself can know what\’s good for me.
It is very interesting that your GP says that nothing can be done, only living as near to your paralysis as possible.
Another doctor might have given you the advice to keep away from all this stuff for a while, to try to better befriend yourself with your body as it is, etc. So I think it is an outstanding and fast understanding of our desire.
I hope the next steps will be good, too, and lead you into a better life!
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1 On 8 January, 2009, Ada said:
Good for you Sophie for talking to your GP about BIID! :)
I’m so glad he listened and seems to have heard you!! :D