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Without BIID
Written by Phil on Sunday, January 24, 2010
What would I do without BIID? What would I be? If there really was a way to “tame” it, to reduce the pressure… what would I do all day?
BIID has become a purpose in life, a central point of my thinking and of my day. I spend a lot of time thinking, reading, writing, fantasising about it.
Without BIID… my life would be so much less spectacular, maybe even less interesting. It would be so normal. Okay, I would love to lead a more normal life. But there would be a hole, a nothing, which would have to be filled.
Yesterday I had a session with my osteopath. I told her about my BIID last time. This time she paid particular attention to my legs. So much tiredness came out, which was like “stored” in my body. My voice changed; it was deeper, fuller and more relaxed, it came from deeper down in my body. Also my posture changed, I was more upright. I felt less under pressure, in fact most pressure was gone; there was less “must”, more freedom, less needs.
And less BIID.
Some time ago I read that one cannot feel fear when one’s body is totally relaxed. Maybe this also applies to needs like BIID to some extent.
The pressure is gone, but there is still a slight depressed feeling, I don’t feel really well. I slept long and still have the need to sleep more. No wonder after so many desperate nights at the computer.
The line in my legs still is there, but it is not half as disturbing as it felt a few days ago. That is good.
But the thrill of BIID is something I miss, as I realise. Without BIID, my life is less thrilling. There is more time to do all these ordinary and boring things which are even more boring now.
If it is true that BIID becomes worse with muscular hardening, limited movement and energy flow in the body and all that, then using a wheelchair would make it worse, because sitting limits the movement and stiffens the hip and lower body.
Maybe my BIID can be influenced by osteopathy.
But maybe it’s only the sun which shines today, for the first time since many many days.
Or osteopathy just helps reducing the effects of BIID.
Tags: BIID, Osteopathy, Wheelchair
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1 On 28 January, 2010, Peter said:
Are the osteopathy sessions for a medical reason or just to relax?
I’m going swimming tonight for general health reasons. As I haven’t been for a long while I’ll see how the BIID, which is particularly intense at the moment, is afterwards.