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Blog > Thoughts > Other's Thoughts > Peter's Thoughts > Wheeling Adventure

Wheeling Adventure

Written by Peter on Sunday, June 14, 2009

I know a lot of you have heard all this stuff before, but it was my first wheeling event on terrain other than a smooth, flat mall floor.

To start with… What am I doing with a wheelchair? I have never never had the slightest inclination to use one. To relieve my BIID I pretend my short, paralysed left leg quite adequately with huge boots and a leg brace. But, on a recent shopping trip I decided it would be better to use crutches. I later regretted this as I was actually pretending two long braces and swinging through. Hard, especially on the hands. So I asked Customer-Service-How-Can-I-Help-You for the loan of one of those Invacare 1960s-looking monstrosities. It worked surprisingly well! I soon got the hang of it and did my shopping in comfort.

So this got me thinking… Maybe I should get one of these. Being an extremely impatient character, before anyone could say, notably hubby "You’re not wasting our money on more braces are you?!!!" I had this new means of transport proudly sitting in our basement.

Actually I did use the argument that if it didn’t work out we could always sell it for at least 8 times the price I paid for it. It is a dream machine in fantastic condition.

Anyway, being someone who always wants perfection I immediately starting adjusting it and, with Sean’s help, got it tweaked just right. Now for the training. I can’t really go to a reeducation center … Can I? No I couldn’t. But thanks to Dalhousie University, Halifax, Nova Scotia, I downloaded hundreds of little video clips showing all the things you need to do to pass the test. These range from moving forward 2 cms to going down a flight of stairs at 100 K/h.

I had already acheived the first 137 actions but I hadn’t passed the opening outwards door test. I kept using the wrong hand or the wrong wheel. I’d open the Gents toilet door OK but would spin round or roll backwards into the Ladies.

So today, on to more serious stuff. Hubby agreed to drive me to the park and was very nicely attentive. He did not help me in any way at all but asked if he needed to and even asked if I’d pumped up the tyres (spelt tires here). He was instructed to leave me for 4 and 1/2 hours. Maybe a bit ambitious for the first outside trip but it didn’t go so badly.

I managed a 60 second stationary wheelie on a lawn. I’m not ashamed. I will get better at it. I leaned on a tree without doing what I think is called a "submarine". I leaned on a statue with an inscription that went something like "He will heal you" – turned out to be Jesus. I moved on.

I’d wanted to fall backwards deliberately to see if I could do the getting up test. I fell back very easily onto soft grass in an area where no-one was looking. I’d removed my bag from the back first. But I failed the test but continued to pretend and rolled over and dragged myself up onto the seat. Whereas I had hoped to stay seated and get the chair back up just like in the video.

Next I popped castors up steps of 3 and 5 cm and rolled over. Then just popped up 13 cm and sat there. Got my wheelie turn to 180° – a 90° improvement but still a long way off 360°. I couldn’t wheelie through gravel but got through it by popping all the way.

Then it was time for speeding! Whooosssshh. Now I have to say that Mission Control at Transabled.org had that very morning issued a Brake-Position-Advisory which I partially ignored. Error. If we had a photo upload service here I’d show you the state of my thumbs. The brakes have to go or, at least, have to be moved.

OK, that’s enough. Time for home. I start back. Get lost. Find one of many little hump-backed foot bridges over the streams and start up it. It was too steep to wheel up forward so I turn round and go backwards. OK until I reach the top where there’s a little step. Damn it! I’m nearly there. WHAM ! Flat on my back! Within seconds half the population of Montreal comes running to my rescue. I am lying there saying to myself "Now, whatever happens, forget you’ve got legs". They’re all pushing and shoving and nothing is happening. I managed to right the chair – of course no-one had thought to do this. I put the brakes on (they’re being useful again!) and gave my helpers precise instructions on how to lift. Hopeless. So I cheated a little and made effort-making noises. Then I thanked them and said something else. But no-one said a word! And then I rememebered, in times of panic I automatically speak in French. These helpers, even thought they were Montrealers, hadn’t the faintest notions of French.

I made it to the car park but my chauffeur arrived an hour late but that didn’t matter I thought. I leaned on another tree and spoke to the squirrels (in both languages). I checked my bag on the back of the seat – glasses, cell phone etc. All there and all smashed to smitherines!

And then it happened… A very very urgent need to piss. A lady rolled by on an electric scooter thingy and said "Looks like rain" to which I nearly replied "Oh good, I could do with a wash"!

Peter

Tags: Legbrace, Wheelchair

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