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Alive Today
Written by Elisabeth on Thursday, August 12, 2010
Phil was asking some serious questions lately. Can BIID change over time? Can it go away? Can he have working legs and be happy? Many of his questions are about the future. Many are "if" questions. What if he had amputation but then there would be a cure for BIID? What if?
Some of those questions remind me of people who get a physical impairment. They look into the future and hope for a cure. A paraplegic hopes to walk again one day. That is good but the crucial question is if his hope prevents him to live for today. It’s very good for that paraplegic to keep in physical shape just in case there is a cure. But we can’t live for what might be one day. There might be a cure, there might be not. Meanwhile all what we’ve got is today. I can embrace today with what I have and with what I don’t. I can’t count on tomorrow. I don’t know what tomorrow will bring. Heck, I might be dead by tomorrow. One doesn’t know.
As a person with BIID, I am very much on the same decision making path as anybody else who has an impairment. It’s here. I wish I could overcome it. That’s what the world likes. That’s what people say – he has overcome his disability. Now, that is BS. We don’t overcome it. We adjust to it. It’s still there and we live within its limits. Live as much as we can. The world wants us to overcome it so it wouldn’t have to deal with it. If we adjust, the world has to adjust. The world loved Christopher Reeve because the Superman never adjusted to being a quad. He was fighting it, trying to find a cure until his last breath. He wanted to be normal again. But for most impairments, curing doesn’t happen. Being a para stays. Being bipolar stays. Having MS stays. Having BIID stays. Research needs to be done into curing any of these and other conditions. But meanwhile all what we are left with is managing those conditions. So that today we can be alive. So that today we can be in less mental and physical pain. So that today we can move on.
I think when we accept whatever condition we have, we are on a path of adjusting to it. We will realise that everything comes with a price. There are trade-offs. It won’t be perfect but we might find peace and happiness. Real peace, happiness and freedom don’t come from being able to do whatever I wish. Nobody can do whatever he wishes. Everybody is limited by something. Real peace, happiness and freedom come from respecting our limitations, living within them, yet living with joy to the fullest. Now. Today.
Some of you are able to wait for the cure. Some of you know what you need to manage your BIID, yet circumstances prevent you from that. Some of us are managing by pretending. Some are waiting for a surgery. Whatever our status, we are all in pain because of BIID. What matters to me is that I can say to myself: I felt alive today. I felt real.
Tags: BIID, Cure, Management
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9 Comments
2 On 12 August, 2010, Sophie said:
Asking questions will only get you so far before your just running round in circles over analysing things.
As often happens, I find myself in awe at just how strongly I agree with Elisabeth’s point of view. Experiencing life is right here right now. Fantasies of the future may entertain us, but the joy of living is what happens in the present.
I just got back from a hike today. I sat down on a rock amidst a field of mountain wildflowers, and closed my eyes. The smell was wonderful. Life indeed will pass us by if we do not stop to smell the flowers.
Elizabeth, you bring up good points.
Many of these can transcend into many things …
So many Trannies base their entire happiness on getting surgery, and are usually disappointed when they do get it. Yes, it can help you adjust, and it can help you pass better. But to base happiness solely on that is illogical.
I mean – Hell … I’m autistic. I realize that. I may not be as smart as others, and I dont function as well, but over the years I’ve learned to deal with it. I dont support Autism speaks – In fact – I wish they’d let ME speak. I am not for a cure – I dont believe I need one…
So many organizations look for cures – and while that is fine, it’s still not enough … By saying “You need to be cured” You make people feel like abominations …
Why not instead of teaching people that they are inferior, and need to be cured, teach acceptance? Just because I am not stable, and not as intelligent or as well functioning as others – does that honestly make me an abomination?
Just because I’m an intersexual … Does this honestly mean I need to be “cured”? No! And the same goes for anyone …
To base happiness solely on a cure … It strips you of identity, and happiness. Happiness and time and energy that could be used in order to learn to live within limitations, and even overcome bounderies you may think you have due to those limitations.
If I would’ve never pushed myself – I wouldn’t have learned how much I love to read. Yes, I struggle with it – BUt I love to do it. If I would’ve just stated I suck at it, I woudln’t have overcome that boundery. And yes, I am still fighting to overcome it – as a lot of words and such, I dont undersatnd, but that doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy it, does it?
By looking past limitations, I have given myself a new love. And so many people don’t realize that they can do that … All because society says they can’t. Its really sad :/
@Rhayven: The considerable wisdom of your words belies the assertion that you are of lesser intelligence. I may have a large vocabulary, but you are the one who moves my heart with poems that you honour me by sharing. Is that not the greater gift?
@Chloe,
Yeah, I suppose so ^^ And why wouldn’t I share? Your a really good friend :)
mreh. i’m back again haha we’ll see for how long this time.
just randomly popping in to say that autism doesn’t cause lower intelligence… :3
also i’m 18 and away from home… but still no wheelchair. that didn’t work out like i wanted. :(
…you may now return to your discussion! carry on.
8 On 25 August, 2010, Sophie said:
Stop toying with our emotions Tora… I miss you
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1 On 12 August, 2010, Phil said:
Dear Elisabeth, it is good to accept oneself with everything, every aspect of one’s past and present, fully accept life.
That means: also accept BIID.
Accept it, even try to love it. Love oneself with it.
Love, real love is unconditional. Real acceptance is unconditional, too.
My acceptance of BIID sometimes was too “strategic”. I tried to accept it in the hope that it becomes lighter then.
Maybe what I write now is too logical, brain-logical, not heart-logical:
When I love myself and accept myself, then I should be able to accept both my legs and BIID. But I can’t. So BIID is a disease which doesn’t allow full self-acceptance? Or requires a distinction and a decision between the true self and the shell?
BIID leads me on thin ice and into the deepest questions of human life. That’s what I am grateful for, but I’d like to get a few answers, too.
I’m just lacking the courage to decide, I guess.