but, i wonder, could it work the other way around? if the pill that makes our mind match our bodies made it so we NEVER had biid, then maybe i wouldn’t take it, but what we’re talking about wouldn’t change the past.
for example: before i found out about biid, when i had an “attack” i would go on the internet and read peoples accounts of being in a wheelchair, look at pictures of people in wheelchairs etc.

BUT then i would be able to IGNORE it. because there was no-where else to go. and for monthes i forgot about it.
in those monthes i forgot the desire to be in a wheelchair. but i was still ME. just because i hadn’t thought about paraplegia or wheelchairs doesn’t mean i lost part of me or was any less of myself.

so yeah, if i had a pill that made me totally happy with my body the way it is, i would take it.

whats more, that way i could bypass the whole teenage hell of “i hate my legs, i hate my nose, i hate my earlobe” LOL!

Thus, for us, while we’d happily choose to change our body to match our mind, we would not choose to change our mind to match our body. The latter doesn’t just change our future experiences - it changes who we are, by changing our mind to be different. We would cease to exist as people, and would be replaced by slightly different versions.

We have also considered if we were given the opportunity to go back, change things so we were born with mind and body matching - whether that meant mind matched the body we have now, or body matched what is in our mind - and after thinking about it a lot, we have realized we wouldn’t do it. By definition, this would change the experiences that made us who we are today. We would, again, be different people. Our life would be very different from what it is now.

The only magic pill we’d accept would be the one that makes our body match what is in our mind - going forward. That is the only pill which would not change who we are inside. It’ll change who we /will be/ but we will still be starting from who we are now.

I think the answers to these questions are as individual as we are… but I can’t help but wonder if at the very heart of it, the hesitant are afraid of the new or different frontier that taking that “pill” would make a reality. Sure, we’d lose the self that we are now by choosing to change - but would we not lose the potential new self that we could be by choosing to change? And isn’t this thought experiment a microcosm of every internal debate that precedes a major life change?

I’ve often asked myself questions like these. As a person with a congenital condition - would I choose a life full able-bodied if I had the power to? Even if it meant being someone I had never been in my life? Ultimately - if it was between being born physically different and not being born at all, I would always (philosophically speaking) choose life. But if it’s between life as I know it now as a PWD, and the choice for a life without a disability - I would (philosophically) choose to be able-bodied, even if it meant not being the “me” that having a disability created.

Why? Because I know that at least part of that me was created out of the fire that is my disability - the traumas of the various close calls, the many, many, many surgeries… the things I would never care to repeat nor wish on anyone. This isn’t about me hating my life as a PWD. In fact, I think I’m a pretty fantastic person with a pretty charmed life… This is about being able to appreciate that the potential gain is bigger than any benefit of “self.”

If the pill aligned our body with our mind … yes. No second thoughts, no doubts, we’d take that pill.

Indeed, we take three little blue pills a day just for that reason, but they’re not nearly as effective.