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The Liberation

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Written by Dante on Friday, August 8, 2008

Recently I had gotten myself in an awkward situation. One I felt would be inevitable, but didn’t expect to happen so abruptly or so soon.

I ‘outed’ myself, so to speak, by accident to both the person I am in a relationship with, and my father…at the same time.

Living the cloaked double life, masquerading as one person when I’m really another, has/had worn on me as quite a burden. Subconsciously, I must’ve gotten tired of it, and it just slipped out at the cue of the current conversation we were having. Looking back, it seems like I had even steered the conversation topic in the direction it was in some unconscious attempt to out myself. The workings of the brain are strange…

…and even stranger to me after I let the secret slip…

THEY UNDERSTOOD IT! THEY ACCEPTED IT! THEY SUPPORT ME!

The feeling of being able to be honest, and to be able to stare BIID dead in the eye with people at my side is a liberating feeling. “Everybody needs a sidekick,” said the person I’m in a relationship with. It is a great feeling having a sidekick that is on my team in the fight against BIID.

The chains are cast aside; I can taste freedom…

 

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4 Comments

1 On 8 August, 2008, Sean said:

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Hey Dante! I’m glad things went well.

It’s so good to be able to not have to hide such a huge part of yourself.

Are you and your partner going to take sign language classes? Seems like it would be a great common activity :)

 

2 On 9 August, 2008, Chloe said:

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Dante, I am so excited for you that your partner is supportive! For me it has made a huge difference in dealing with BIID to have a partner who is always on my side about this. I am very grateful for that. It has also given me the courage to tell more than forty friends and family about it. I think they tend to react in a more positive way because my partner is so supportive. So far only one friendship has been damaged by this. I consider that a small price to pay for the love and kindness shown to me by the forty others.

 

3 On 11 August, 2008, Dante said:

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Well, I already know two forms of sign language fairly well, and two alternative forms decently, so there is not much for me in the way to be educated in that regard. In the region that I live in; sign language, amongst deaf/Deaf individuals is not a popular way of communication.

Chloe! You’re quite more courageous than I am! Forty people? For me, perhaps in forty years I may tell one more person!

 

4 On 20 August, 2008, Katie said:

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That is marvellous. Congratulations! I wonder whether I shall ever be as courageous as to tell one single person about my BIID. It was fine for a couple of months, but now it hit me again… I knew it. Still I\’m thinking of selling my wheelchair. I\’m not too sure whether it improved anything for me. Although everything in my flat is pretty accessible. I never dared to show up in public with it.
I admire you for your honesty!

 

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About Dante

Dante has BIID and needs to be deaf. He also happens to have a genuine physical impairment in the form of congenital paraplegia.