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Paradoxes

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Written by Claire on Tuesday, April 7, 2009

 

 

Paradoxes

Wheels spinning
Friction burning
In my hands
In my head
Don’t stop
Stop!

The corner of my eye
Rolling movement
Hoping, dreading
I have to look
It’s nothing
It’s him

Tear my eyes away
Don’t let him see
I’m watching
I’m wanting
To share
To hide

Natural order twisted
Weakness of body
Strength of mind
It’s all so wrong
I need the one
Lost the other

Foot in front of the other
Walking struggling
Hating each step
It’s all a lie
For them
For me

Impossible acceptance
Longing to belong
Understand me
Broken inside
Like them
But not

Goodness shining
Caring, helping
Do they know
Do they care
Fighting
Losing

Fearing the anger
Hiding the shame
It’s just myself
Who I am
Hate me
Love me

 

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2 Comments

1 On 7 April, 2009, Chloe said:

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Claire; WOW! Awesome.

 

2 On 7 April, 2009, Cath said:

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That’s great Claire - any more waiting in the wings?

 

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About Claire

I am a wife and mother who has had BIID all my life. Since my earliest memories I have had a deep desire to be a paraplegic. For over 30 years I kept this a closely held secret until one day I just could not take it anymore. Now, I am telling all of you my story, because I know that somewhere there is another wife and mother who is confused about her strange desires and needs to know she is not alone. follow me on Twitter