But maybe it’s the other way round. Or both. Or they have nothing to do with each other, BIID and self-consciousness.

But in any case it does good to overcome self-consciousness and inhibitions. Not only by wheeling, but also when not wheeling.

Brain or psyche, the difference is not really big. The psyche needs the brain, too.

To me, the difference between legs supports the hypothesis that BIID is more a matter of brain function than psychology. Since early childhood I have known a number of people who needed a leg brace. To the best of my recollection they have all been both legs or right leg only. My need for a left leg brace is suggestive that it was not modeled after any other individual.

On rare occasions I dance at home with Alicia, without wheelchair or braces. I would feel far too self conscious to attempt such a thing in public. Last time was at a wedding almost three years ago.

When dancing, after a while I often forget totally about my legs and BIID, about a lot of things. I just move with the music. And often I just watch all these beautiful people and their bodies awake, relax, express themselves and the music…

I never would have the courage to go dancing in my wheelchair. But at least I can enjoy dancing on my legs. It loosens stiffnesses in my hips and legs and rump and everywhere else. That is a form of liberation and relief.

Yes, there might be a difference between the legs. I feel the amputation line in my right thigh more intensely and more concretely than in my left thigh. Maybe because I am right-handed, so it’s my “dominant” side.

When you, Chloe, feel a bit sad or envious because the others can move their feet, legs and hips freely — would you feel good when dancing without wheelchair and braces and all that?

Years ago when I directed a disabled drama group, the members asked if they could hold a dance at the end of the season. So that evening I took along my DJ gear. I’d never done this before and felt quite nervous but I was lucky to have a little helper. Actually my new-found quad friend had only come up to ask for a disc but I insisted he stayed next to me to help choose the music. He didn’t mind as he was not too keen on dancing and felt much more important in his role of music supervisor.

We started very sedately (at the time there were a still of lot of dances requiring hand contact). We progressed to rock n roll. I watched wide-eyed as they did all sorts of gymnastics I’d never seen before.

I tried out a Conga and we did it in reverse and climaxed with The Locomotion with only a few derailments.

It was a great evening. A truly treasured memory.