Comments on: Raising the Hemline http://transabled.org/thoughts/other-thoughts/chloes-thoughts/raising-the-hemline.htm Talking about Body Integrity Identity Disorder - Just another disability! Sat, 11 Feb 2012 19:50:52 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.1.1 By: Chloe http://transabled.org/thoughts/other-thoughts/chloes-thoughts/raising-the-hemline.htm/comment-page-1#comment-20797 Chloe Tue, 22 Jun 2010 00:46:55 +0000 http://transabled.org/?p=2743#comment-20797 It's that time of year again. Today I graduated to a mid thigh skirt, which exposes the lower thigh strap, but not the upper. Such things cause me absolutely no trepidation these days. It’s that time of year again. Today I graduated to a mid thigh skirt, which exposes the lower thigh strap, but not the upper. Such things cause me absolutely no trepidation these days.

]]> By: Chloe http://transabled.org/thoughts/other-thoughts/chloes-thoughts/raising-the-hemline.htm/comment-page-1#comment-19229 Chloe Fri, 16 Oct 2009 06:05:48 +0000 http://transabled.org/?p=2743#comment-19229 Hi Gill, I am so sorry you are having a hard time getting used to your braces. At first I felt very clumsy getting in and out of the car, shoes getting caught in the door and pedals as you say. One of my solutions was to adjust the seat every time I got in and out of the car. I kept the seat back for getting in and out of the car, and moved it forward for driving. I don't do that any more, but I have an advantage of having relatively short legs and a medium size car. Long legs and a small car does indeed sound like a tricky combination with leg braces. Perhaps adjusting the seat would help for you, as it did with me. Another thing I learnt was not to rush things. Just take everything slowly, watching what you are doing, and things go more smoothly. I've gradually got to where I'm comfortable with an above knee skirt, but I still feel I might get embarrassed with a mini-skirt. I now have the excuse of it not being Summer any more. However I think I might get there next Summer. I hope you read Art's encouraging comments directed at you and me, under my post "Mini-Skirts and Braces" all about this subject. Some guys are pleased to see us in leg braces. My boyfriend is taking me out to dinner tomorrow. He is completely comfortable around my braces. It really seems like it makes no difference to him at all one way or the other. There are indeed guys out there who see past such things, so there's no reason to feel any less attractive on account of your braces. My boyfriend asks if he can help me put my braces on, or take them off, when appropriate. I let him help, even though I don't need any, because I feel it demystifies them, makes them less scary, and it is a sweet act of intimacy. My advice about dealing with the opposite sex (like I am some expert; ha ha!) is to simply be yourself. I know you said you never forget about your braces; but just forget about them. Focus on the interaction between you and the other person. If you are comfortable, it will make the other person feel comfortable. Don't think about your braces; think about the other person and what they are saying. Think about who you are; you are a much more interesting person than just your braces. Eventually, after a guy has been showing interest in you for some time, he may (or may not) ask about your braces. It is up to you how much you wish to explain about that, but there is certainly no need to be embarrassed about it. I take it as a good sign that the question eventually gets asked. It means that the person is likely to be comfortable with your disability, and is not ignoring the elephant in the room. The restaurant my boyfriend and I are going out to tomorrow has a big flight of stairs leading up to it. Not good in a wheelchair! For me this is one of the good reasons for having leg braces as an alternate mobility mode to the wheelchair. Okay, it's not a piece of cake going up and down stairs in leg braces, and it took me a while to get the hang of it. However, it's easier than a wheelchair. Also, if you need to get out of the car for a short errand, leg braces can be more convenient than a car to wheelchair transfer. Long distances are much quicker in a wheelchair though. I'm afraid all I can offer is my own personal experience, but I hope some of it may be of help. All best wishes to you, Gill. Please let us know how things work out for you. ~ Chloe Hi Gill,

I am so sorry you are having a hard time getting used to your braces. At first I felt very clumsy getting in and out of the car, shoes getting caught in the door and pedals as you say. One of my solutions was to adjust the seat every time I got in and out of the car. I kept the seat back for getting in and out of the car, and moved it forward for driving. I don’t do that any more, but I have an advantage of having relatively short legs and a medium size car. Long legs and a small car does indeed sound like a tricky combination with leg braces. Perhaps adjusting the seat would help for you, as it did with me. Another thing I learnt was not to rush things. Just take everything slowly, watching what you are doing, and things go more smoothly.

I’ve gradually got to where I’m comfortable with an above knee skirt, but I still feel I might get embarrassed with a mini-skirt. I now have the excuse of it not being Summer any more. However I think I might get there next Summer. I hope you read Art’s encouraging comments directed at you and me, under my post “Mini-Skirts and Braces” all about this subject. Some guys are pleased to see us in leg braces.

My boyfriend is taking me out to dinner tomorrow. He is completely comfortable around my braces. It really seems like it makes no difference to him at all one way or the other. There are indeed guys out there who see past such things, so there’s no reason to feel any less attractive on account of your braces. My boyfriend asks if he can help me put my braces on, or take them off, when appropriate. I let him help, even though I don’t need any, because I feel it demystifies them, makes them less scary, and it is a sweet act of intimacy.

My advice about dealing with the opposite sex (like I am some expert; ha ha!) is to simply be yourself. I know you said you never forget about your braces; but just forget about them. Focus on the interaction between you and the other person. If you are comfortable, it will make the other person feel comfortable. Don’t think about your braces; think about the other person and what they are saying. Think about who you are; you are a much more interesting person than just your braces. Eventually, after a guy has been showing interest in you for some time, he may (or may not) ask about your braces. It is up to you how much you wish to explain about that, but there is certainly no need to be embarrassed about it. I take it as a good sign that the question eventually gets asked. It means that the person is likely to be comfortable with your disability, and is not ignoring the elephant in the room.

The restaurant my boyfriend and I are going out to tomorrow has a big flight of stairs leading up to it. Not good in a wheelchair! For me this is one of the good reasons for having leg braces as an alternate mobility mode to the wheelchair. Okay, it’s not a piece of cake going up and down stairs in leg braces, and it took me a while to get the hang of it. However, it’s easier than a wheelchair. Also, if you need to get out of the car for a short errand, leg braces can be more convenient than a car to wheelchair transfer. Long distances are much quicker in a wheelchair though.

I’m afraid all I can offer is my own personal experience, but I hope some of it may be of help.

All best wishes to you, Gill. Please let us know how things work out for you.

~ Chloe

]]> By: gtll http://transabled.org/thoughts/other-thoughts/chloes-thoughts/raising-the-hemline.htm/comment-page-1#comment-19226 gtll Thu, 15 Oct 2009 19:32:58 +0000 http://transabled.org/?p=2743#comment-19226 Chloe, Yes I HAVE to wear both braces all the time and I just cannot get used to them. Every day,day in day out i never forget these girders of steel.I have difficulty getting in my small car as the shoes get caught in the door and the pedals. Is it better to just start living in a chair and forget the braces or just keep trying. I used to have long shapely legs but now I am embarrased to show them in anything short. Can you advise me about leaving and entering my car and dealing with the opposite sex. Thank you Gill. Chloe, Yes I HAVE to wear both braces all the time and I just cannot get used to them. Every day,day in day out i never forget these girders of steel.I have difficulty getting in my small car as the shoes get caught in the door and the pedals. Is it better to just start living in a chair and forget the braces or just keep trying. I used to have long shapely legs but now I am embarrased to show them in anything short. Can you advise me about leaving and entering my car and dealing with the opposite sex. Thank you Gill.

]]> By: Chloe http://transabled.org/thoughts/other-thoughts/chloes-thoughts/raising-the-hemline.htm/comment-page-1#comment-19050 Chloe Fri, 25 Sep 2009 01:09:39 +0000 http://transabled.org/?p=2743#comment-19050 Hi Gill. I'm not ignoring you. What you said inspired so much thought on my part that I couldn't fit a reply into a comment. I'm responding in a separate post, coming shortly. Thank you! Hi Gill. I’m not ignoring you. What you said inspired so much thought on my part that I couldn’t fit a reply into a comment. I’m responding in a separate post, coming shortly. Thank you!

]]> By: Gill http://transabled.org/thoughts/other-thoughts/chloes-thoughts/raising-the-hemline.htm/comment-page-1#comment-19037 Gill Mon, 21 Sep 2009 22:19:10 +0000 http://transabled.org/?p=2743#comment-19037 I'm still trying to pick up courage to go out in a mini-skirt with my braces on. I've needed them pnly since last January. Their so ugly i dont think i can get in the car decently. Any suggestions please.? I’m still trying to pick up courage to go out in a mini-skirt with my braces on. I’ve needed them pnly since last January. Their so ugly i dont think i can get in the car decently. Any suggestions please.?

]]> By: Chloe http://transabled.org/thoughts/other-thoughts/chloes-thoughts/raising-the-hemline.htm/comment-page-1#comment-18921 Chloe Thu, 03 Sep 2009 21:58:10 +0000 http://transabled.org/?p=2743#comment-18921 @Beth & Peter: I've not hinted to folks at work that there is anything at all wrong with my right leg (which indeed there isn't). Nevertheless, if I'm at a store I simply can't bring myself to get out of the chair to reach something on a high shelf. Are you wearing braces when you're in the wheelchair, Peter? @Beth & Peter: I’ve not hinted to folks at work that there is anything at all wrong with my right leg (which indeed there isn’t). Nevertheless, if I’m at a store I simply can’t bring myself to get out of the chair to reach something on a high shelf.

Are you wearing braces when you’re in the wheelchair, Peter?

]]> By: Peter http://transabled.org/thoughts/other-thoughts/chloes-thoughts/raising-the-hemline.htm/comment-page-1#comment-18920 Peter Thu, 03 Sep 2009 21:30:29 +0000 http://transabled.org/?p=2743#comment-18920 Chloe, I can't remember, are you pretending total paralysis - I don't think so. So it's fine to use the combo. I've seen no less than 3 guys the past month with 1 KAFO and using a wheelchair. Chloe, I can’t remember, are you pretending total paralysis – I don’t think so. So it’s fine to use the combo. I’ve seen no less than 3 guys the past month with 1 KAFO and using a wheelchair.

]]> By: Beth http://transabled.org/thoughts/other-thoughts/chloes-thoughts/raising-the-hemline.htm/comment-page-1#comment-18917 Beth Wed, 02 Sep 2009 07:01:45 +0000 http://transabled.org/?p=2743#comment-18917 I think that you might get more stares with the brace and wheelchair combo because people 'expect' one or the other but not both. Also, subconsiously the general public think wheelchair users can't walk at all. So if you so much as stand to reach something on a shelf you'd get loads of wierd looks. An extension of that is if you can't walk then why would you need a brace. Maybe I'm wrong with my guesswork there. Whether I am or not, well done for getting out there and improving your workmate's perception of disability. I think that you might get more stares with the brace and wheelchair combo because people ‘expect’ one or the other but not both. Also, subconsiously the general public think wheelchair users can’t walk at all. So if you so much as stand to reach something on a shelf you’d get loads of wierd looks. An extension of that is if you can’t walk then why would you need a brace.

Maybe I’m wrong with my guesswork there. Whether I am or not, well done for getting out there and improving your workmate’s perception of disability.

]]> By: Chloe http://transabled.org/thoughts/other-thoughts/chloes-thoughts/raising-the-hemline.htm/comment-page-1#comment-18914 Chloe Tue, 01 Sep 2009 22:32:47 +0000 http://transabled.org/?p=2743#comment-18914 When this post was published I had no clue that I was going to be in a car wreck in a few days, and wheeling to work full time two weeks later. Now, after six weeks of wheeling to work, the temperatures are still in the 90s(F). I've been wearing a variety of skirts, from ankle length to above knee. It is clear that when I'm in a wheelchair and the whole lower leg is visible, the brace gets a LOT more stares on average. Still can't figure out the sociology of this! In any case, none of it makes me the slightest bit self-conscious. When this post was published I had no clue that I was going to be in a car wreck in a few days, and wheeling to work full time two weeks later.

Now, after six weeks of wheeling to work, the temperatures are still in the 90s(F). I’ve been wearing a variety of skirts, from ankle length to above knee. It is clear that when I’m in a wheelchair and the whole lower leg is visible, the brace gets a LOT more stares on average. Still can’t figure out the sociology of this!

In any case, none of it makes me the slightest bit self-conscious.

]]> By: Chloe http://transabled.org/thoughts/other-thoughts/chloes-thoughts/raising-the-hemline.htm/comment-page-1#comment-18624 Chloe Fri, 17 Jul 2009 18:38:02 +0000 http://transabled.org/?p=2743#comment-18624 @Gordo & Tora. The sociology of disability is very interesting and complex; particularly the perceptions that ABs have about PWDs based on what they see. Thank you for those observations. @Gordo & Tora. The sociology of disability is very interesting and complex; particularly the perceptions that ABs have about PWDs based on what they see. Thank you for those observations.

]]> By: Tora http://transabled.org/thoughts/other-thoughts/chloes-thoughts/raising-the-hemline.htm/comment-page-1#comment-18604 Tora Mon, 13 Jul 2009 19:44:05 +0000 http://transabled.org/?p=2743#comment-18604 also sorry for the runon sentence... listening to velvet acid christ and drinking coffee seems to have been a bad combination. if you'll excuse me, i need to go run up and down the stairs a few times to get rid of all this freaking ENERGY!!!! (also sorry for the double post XP) also sorry for the runon sentence… listening to velvet acid christ and drinking coffee seems to have been a bad combination. if you’ll excuse me, i need to go run up and down the stairs a few times to get rid of all this freaking ENERGY!!!!

(also sorry for the double post XP)

]]> By: Tora http://transabled.org/thoughts/other-thoughts/chloes-thoughts/raising-the-hemline.htm/comment-page-1#comment-18603 Tora Mon, 13 Jul 2009 19:41:51 +0000 http://transabled.org/?p=2743#comment-18603 random thought i had while reading gordo's comment- when i was younger, i always associated colourful plastic afos as a sign of a permanent disability because the only exposure to that sort of thing i ever got (as a kid) was the mentally and physically disabled kids at school who weren't really in regular classes but everyone knew them anyway. they always had plastic ankle braces on and for a long time i didn't realize that the brace was actually a brace and not just something that disabled people wore to show that they were disabled. i don't know if anyone else had similar thoughts as a child, but if they did, that's probably where that reaction came from. that's my two cents worth... random thought i had while reading gordo’s comment- when i was younger, i always associated colourful plastic afos as a sign of a permanent disability because the only exposure to that sort of thing i ever got (as a kid) was the mentally and physically disabled kids at school who weren’t really in regular classes but everyone knew them anyway. they always had plastic ankle braces on and for a long time i didn’t realize that the brace was actually a brace and not just something that disabled people wore to show that they were disabled. i don’t know if anyone else had similar thoughts as a child, but if they did, that’s probably where that reaction came from.

that’s my two cents worth…

]]> By: Chloe http://transabled.org/thoughts/other-thoughts/chloes-thoughts/raising-the-hemline.htm/comment-page-1#comment-18534 Chloe Wed, 08 Jul 2009 22:52:18 +0000 http://transabled.org/?p=2743#comment-18534 @Sean. Yeah I am definitely more extroverted presenting as a PWD, because I feel SO much more comfortable as such. @Lane. You do need a small amount of extra strap to pull on. Alicia got it just right. You can see in the pic if you look closely. @Sean. Yeah I am definitely more extroverted presenting as a PWD, because I feel SO much more comfortable as such.

@Lane. You do need a small amount of extra strap to pull on. Alicia got it just right. You can see in the pic if you look closely.

]]> By: Sean http://transabled.org/thoughts/other-thoughts/chloes-thoughts/raising-the-hemline.htm/comment-page-1#comment-18533 Sean Wed, 08 Jul 2009 21:45:43 +0000 http://transabled.org/?p=2743#comment-18533 @Lane I *think* I've spoken about this before. I feel much more at ease, more "me", when I'm in my chair than out of it. Close friends who know about BIID have commented that I'm a different person in the chair. They thought I was putting on a show, because I'm so much more of an introvert outside the chair. But I'm more extroverted in the chair because I'm more comfortable with my own self. @Lane I *think* I’ve spoken about this before. I feel much more at ease, more “me”, when I’m in my chair than out of it. Close friends who know about BIID have commented that I’m a different person in the chair. They thought I was putting on a show, because I’m so much more of an introvert outside the chair. But I’m more extroverted in the chair because I’m more comfortable with my own self.

]]> By: Brice http://transabled.org/thoughts/other-thoughts/chloes-thoughts/raising-the-hemline.htm/comment-page-1#comment-18530 Brice Wed, 08 Jul 2009 12:50:20 +0000 http://transabled.org/?p=2743#comment-18530 I trimmed my straps very early in my brace experience (15 years or so now), as soon as I was sure I knew how long they really had to be. I guess they come in a standard length. I trimmed my straps very early in my brace experience (15 years or so now), as soon as I was sure I knew how long they really had to be. I guess they come in a standard length.

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