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Blog > Thoughts > Other's Thoughts > Chloe's Thoughts > GP Visit Number Seven

GP Visit Number Seven

Written by Chloe on Saturday, August 15, 2009

Somehow most of my GP visits end up having quite a bit to do with BIID, even though it’s not the primary reason for the appointment. I’m numbering the visits from the first one in a wheelchair, at which I disclosed about my BIID.

The original reason for this appointment was that my blood pressure had been somewhat high for quite a long time, and my GP wanted to put me back on medication for it if it hadn’t gone down. It was way down today; completely normal. She told me the figures from the last year’s worth of visits. Today’s reading was dramatically different. She said "Whatever you’re doing is working".

I pondered what it might be that I’m doing. I said "Well, I’ve lost some weight, maybe about 10 lbs in the last six months". She said "Yes that could be part of it, but it’s a big change in blood pressure for that weight loss. How about exercise? Have you changed that?" "No", I said, "It’s always the same; hiking or skiing once a week…" I started clutching at straws: "Well, I’ve been using the wheelchair at lot more". "Ah", she said, "That’ll be it." "What!!!", I silently exclaimed to myself. I’ve never heard of using a wheelchair in order to reduce high blood pressure. You gotta be kidding me! "You have less back pain and leg pain when you’re in a wheelchair, right?" " Well, yes" I replied. "Chronic pain increases blood pressure." She let this sink in. "Keep doing what you’re doing".

We were both silent as I digested this. My GP is telling me to use a wheelchair in order to keep my blood pressure down… It had never crossed my mind that high blood pressure could be an indication for using a wheelchair. I seem to be acquiring a laundry list of reasons for being in a wheelchair. Now I have yet another thing to tell people who ask. Wow!

Today is exactly one month since my car crash, so that was the next topic of discussion. All of the concussion symptoms are gone. All of the cuts and bruises from the crash are healed. The shoulder is still a problem though. The chronic pain is down to relatively low levels, and I managed to stave off a bad fibromyalgia episode. But, there’s a lot of stuff I can’t do without intense pain. I can’t carry heavy objects with my left arm. Opening doors from the wheelchair is still a problem. And falling over while hiking is horrendous. She considered all of the symptoms and said "I think you have a rotator cuff tear". She said that it could heal on its own, but it would probably take three months. In the meantime I should stop falling over because it tears it a little bit more every time I fall. That’s why it’s so painful to fall.

She asked how often I fall on my left side versus versus the right side. I said that it’s always on my left side. "Ah… yes", she said. Then she asked me if I use a stick while hiking to compensate for the leg. "Yes", I said. She demonstrated different ways of using a stick or a crutch. She said that there’s no right or wrong arm to compensate for a single leg issue with a single crutch. You should use what feels right. She also demonstrated some bad techniques. Apparently I’ve been doing everything exactly right.

My GP asked me if there was anything else from the car crash. I said "Yes, something came up very recently: survivor guilt". I explained that the son of a friend of mine was killed in a car crash three days ago, driving alone, fast, no other cars involved, just like me, except… He died; I didn’t. I know there is nothing rational to feel guilty about. I know not to say anything about my car crash to my friend. I know I have to call her today. I am absolutely dreading it. Sometimes empathy is a curse. What do you say to a mother whose child just died?

My GP asked if I had any other issues I’d like to talk about. I said "Yes, I have two things". I thanked her for suggesting clonazepam to treat muscle spasms. I’m finding that it works pretty well.

"And the last issue?" Deep breath: I save the heavy BIID stuff for the end of my visits. I told her that I wanted to keep her in the loop about what my psychotherapist and I had talked about in terms of further treatment of my BIID; that he agreed that a left femoral nerve transection would be good for my mental health, and that he would write a letter to a surgeon recommending that. My GP didn’t bat an eye; no dirty look, no criticism, no gasp of horror. She asked if I had found a surgeon yet. I said no. She asked if I knew how to go about finding one. I said no. She said that I needed to find a neurologist, but she didn’t think I would be able to find one to do the surgery locally. She thought it would be possible for me to find one out of state.

I decided to push the envelope a little more: "My psychotherapist said he would recommend me for a spinal cord transection if that’s what I wanted". Still no gasp of horror. My GP said "I think it’s unlikely you will find anyone to do that". I said "Yes, that’s what I figured".

My GP suggested as a first step I could go to a pain clinic, where they do nerve blocks that last for several months. She wasn’t sure exactly how they did it, but I agreed that it sounds like a good idea.

I left in great spirits. My favorite Chinese proverb is "A journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step". I am the kind of person who takes things slowly, one step at a time. Eventually I get somewhere. Today I took another little step. My GP is on board with the idea of me having a femoral nerve transection; and she thinks that it is possible I will find a surgeon to do it.

Tags: BIID, Crash, Crutch, Femoral Nerve Transection, Muscle Spasms, Pain, Spinal Cord Transection, Surgeon, Wheelchair

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