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First Ski Day
Written by Chloe on Monday, November 24, 2008
Today, as of this writing, I went skiing for the first time this season. It was a very happy experience.
Within a minute of getting off the top of the chairlift I was experiencing substantial weakness and pain in my left thigh. This was honestly quite a surprise. I had not noticed this very much last ski season. To be sure, I had been gradually finding this more and more throughout this year’s hiking season. However, I had assumed that the muscles used for skiing had not been as much affected as those used for hiking. Also, I have a lot of self scepticism. So I attributed a part of the hiking experience to a fertile imagination and wishful thinking. Apparently this is not so! Today there was a dramatic difference between the two legs, definitely much more than a year ago. So this is relatively recent. The more I skied, the more my leg hurt; just the left one. I liked it. My leg is more screwed up than I thought it was (yippee!). I’m curious though. How come I can feel all this pain in my leg in an area where the skin is completely insensitive to touch? These things don’t make much sense to me.
I’m skiing without the back brace, even though I know that’s going to be painful. I figure that way I have a better chance of getting more nerve damage from a reinjury. The first couple of runs were not much of a problem with my back. Then I decided to try a jump, just a small one, not too fast. The moment I landed I felt the pain shoot right into the familiar spot. I liked this too! If it was so trivially easy to get some good back pain going with skiing, then a major crash should do some major damage. That’s what I’m hoping anyway.
The rest of the day I alternated doing a super fast run with the jump run. Each time I did the jump, it was faster and higher. Each time it made my back hurt more. All day long both my leg and my back hurt more and more. They still hurt as I am writing this. I am happy. This has done more to lift my depression than anything else. I also feel better about my BIID. Oh, and I don’t need to pretend to limp this evening. The only downside I am seeing is that my skiing is significantly affected by the minor paralysis. This could impact my ability to ski the difficult terrain where I think I have the best chance of getting a substantial injury.
Are you thinking I am a bit weird because I am happy about causing myself pain? We are all a bit weird. Yes?
Addendum from the following morning: I am finding it quite difficult to walk today, because of my left leg. This pleases me greatly of course! I actually do need a crutch to get up and down stairs, since my left leg is not fully weight bearing today. It feels wonderful!
After breakfast I lay naked on the bed on my back for a little while, relaxing before taking a shower. It came into my mind to see how it felt to flex the quadriceps in each leg. The right leg was completely normal. As soon as I tried the left leg, the muscles went into a pretty dramatic quivering motion that made the whole leg vibrate. It was quite entertaining to watch. I just couldn’t get them to flex properly. No wonder I was having difficuly skiing. My partner came into the bedroom while I was doing this, and asked what I was doing. I showed her. She thought it was pretty wild too.
It is Saturday today; nowhere to go. I am looking forward to the whole weekend around the house, relaxing in my wheelchair.
I feel great. I’m hoping the euphoria will last until I ski again next week.
Tags: Back Brace, BIID, Depression, Pain, Paralysis
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