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Oh Chloe, when are you going to learn that absolutely nothing is too personal to ask when you have a wheelchair under your butt?…

Seriously though, I’ve had so many very personal questions randomly asked to me that I am positive the same people wouldn’t dare ask a random non-disabled person. The worst being ‘what’s wrong with you?’ There is nothing ‘wrong’ with me. This answer seems to boggle their minds so much that the conversation abruptly ends there.

When I was going through rehab the first time after my SCI I was told I was ‘too happy’ by a social worker. This same social worker told other people they were ‘too sad’, ‘too angry’ etc. There seemed to be no happy medium with her. She didn’t take into consideration at all that I have been disabled my entire life and it was just another disability to deal with for me. Everyone deals with disabilities and situations in their own unique way. Some people decide to try to look at the positive in everything and some people stew in their own self pity. Everyone’s coping mechanisms are different.

OMG you didn’t actually ‘go there’ and talk about the ‘S’ word did you? lol! I’m surprised this woman’s head didn’t explode as she tried to process it!

Has anyone commented on the Taboo episode or have you noticed anyone treating you any differently since it aired? I imagine you must feel a sense of relief knowing that it’s ‘out there’ now in a way.

Try this one: Blast Led Zeppelin’s “Custard Pie” on your iPod while wheeling through a KMart, and play “air drums” on the handrims while doing so! Damn! I forgot that I’m supposed to be a miserable unhappy cripple!

At last night’s church meeting one of the men came to me and said, “You’re getting around pretty good now, much better than using the wheelchair, isn’t it?”
“Well, short walks from the parking lot aren’t too bad for my knee and back, so I forego the ‘rolling throne’ sometimes.” I lifted my glasses from my nose and continued, “This is a tool, it helps me see better. When I have to go for any distance, I’ll use the chair. The chair enables me- otherwise I’d be limping through the WalMart for three hours instead of rolling for twenty minutes!”

It’s sort of funny that they’re so glad to see me walking, yet seem to ignore that I spend so much time trying to get my left leg in a comfortable position at those meetings…

People are amazed by us, aren’t they? Especially when we’re assembling our machinery. There was one guy parked in a space diagonally from me who watched intently. I noticed his hospital type clunker in the back of his truck. (I think I sold a TiLite that day.) Popped a wheelie as I aimed toward the Publix, then turned and grinned- and got a thumbs up for the performance.

BTW: If I’m ever asked if I can have children, I say “No- I’m male…”

Chloe, how can you make them feel better about their own lives if you aren’t completely miserable? I’m absolutely convinced some people need other people to be miserable. We’re used as the baseline for their happiness index.

@Kim: My sister is a social worker… she loves controlling other people, no one is ever good enough for her. I gave up trying to make her happy a long time ago.

@Mark: I hate those hospital clunkers, you won’t catch me dead in one, I like to do wheelies and even venture off road on occasion in my rigid frame. It amazes me how people are so willing to use some things, like segway scooters to get around, but use a wheelchair and OMG! People have no idea how much work using a (manual) wheelchair actually is and how much upper body strength it takes.

I’ve already shared my most humorous moment, but I will do so again… makes me laugh just thinking about it.

I was out shopping wearing my leg braces and using forearm crutches with my fiancee. While waiting in line to check out, the man in front of us turns around and asks, “what’s with the sticks?” I tell him I’d rather not talk about it. He then proceeds to tell me how he can fix me (I love me some good old snake oil!). Eventually I get sick of this and tell him he I he can’t fix my problems. The cashier, having witnessed this bizarre scene, says to me while checking out that, “it’s not like it’s all in your head.” I about died laughing.

Hi Kim. I have yet to be asked “What’s wrong with you?” I guess I should come up with a good response ahead of time. I’m contemplating “I’m a hermaphrodite. What’s your excuse?” So many people seem to think that anything different from themselves is “wrong”.

Seriously though, you are way too happy! It is highly inappropriate. :o)

No, I didn’t explain that wheelchair users can and do have sex, can and do have babies. She had already disclosed that she’s a Mormon. I try not to offend people’s sensibilities. I simply said “Yes I have two boys, age 18 and 24.”

So far, only one stranger has recognised me from the Taboo episode. No problem. Yes, it’s a relief to be completely out of the closet. The fear factor dissipates. Thank you for that, Kim. You are one of the influential people in my life who has been particularly encouraging and supportive about not being secretive.

I have to admit I don’t go out much, but no one has ever asked me what’s wrong with me. I agree about how much upper body strength wheeling has. I don’t have much of it so when I go up even the slightest incline, I find myself being pushed along by a stranger, usually without a word asking if I would like assistance. After this happened a couple of time, I left the push handles on because it was kind of creepy being grabbed by the shoulders.

Here’s my recent funny anecdote:

I just recently got my first chair and two weeks ago had the day off, so I went to a museum on the outskirts of town. It’s a pretty big museum, and since most people were at work, it was pretty empty and there were only a handful of out-of-town tourists wandering around.

This was only my second time using my wheelchair in public and I was still nervous about a lot of simple things, one of which was going to the bathroom. Since this museum receives a lot of federal funding, I knew it would be up to ADA code, so it wouldn’t be difficult at all to access in a wheelchair.

As I wheeled into the bathroom, there were two young boys alone in there whom I had seen earlier in the museum wandering around with their mother. They were about 6 and 4 years old. As I maneuvered my chair into the door of the bathroom, one of the boys who was standing at the sink immediately turned to me and asked “Why do you have that thing? You’re not old like grandpa. Don’t you know how to walk?”

I smiled and simply said “I have an issue that makes it difficult for me to walk.”

The boy looked confused, turned to his brother and said “Show him.”

The younger brother said “See, it’s easy? Just put one foot in front of the other and you’re walking. Like this!” [stomp stomp stomp]

As they were demonstrating and urging me to “just try it,” I was able to wheel over to the handicap stall and close the door, just as I heard their mother knock on the main door and yelled at them to hurry up. They quickly finished washing their hands and scurried away leaving me alone.

The boys didn’t seem to care *why* I was in a wheelchair; only that I *was* in a chair, just like their grandfather, apparently. Seeing a guy in his late 20s in a wheelchair was somehow confusing for them, and yet all they cared about was that I try to be “normal”, like they were.

A few times I answered to the question: “What’s wrong with you?” or “What’s your matter/problem?” like this: “My problem is that I attract people who ask me impertinent question!”

The weirdest question I’ve ever been asked: “Can you feel when you need to pee?” (And the follow-up question: “Do you need to wear diapers?”)

To this day, I can’t believe that he actually asked me that – and it was the first thing he said to me too.

I don’t think I answered him for either question.