Comments on: And the Door Slams Shut

By: Julia

Julia — Thu, 28 Aug 2008 16:38:05 +0000

You know what? Two days before I saw Quid pro Quo and became aware of BIID, I had a dream which I’d call the opposite of yours…
I dreamt I was wheeling down a road to the village where I originally come from. I realised I “finally” sat in a wheelchair and felt georgeous. Then I came to a point where the road ended, there was a house in the middle of the road, you could refresh yourself there. I could only go on by passing stairs which led to a higher level. I knew I could just get up and walk and carry my chair, but there was somebody else in the house and I wondered whether I could ask him for help. Which I did after some hesitation and he said he could help me. He was very strong, and I recognised him. He was a guy from the ballerina film I wrote about, the man who encouraged the girl the most that she should dance again and not give up.
He drank some water and as I waited for him, I woke up.
This is full of symbols to me and I believe it wasn’t an accident that I dreamt it.
I am still wondering how the dream would have ended, but for some reason I think he would have talked to me and helped me to get out of the wheelchair and use my feet again… because he was that guy from the film.
I wish I would dream the end, though. I’ve often had dreams which were like a series you watch in tv… so I still hope I’ll see the end. I don’t know about the symbol of my home yet, though…

By: Ronald

Ronald — Thu, 14 Aug 2008 23:56:02 +0000

That is quite remarkable, out in public a few days after receiving your wheelchair. I wonder how much “stuff” accumulates dust and rust before it is used?

By: Chloe

Chloe — Fri, 08 Aug 2008 20:18:46 +0000

Gordo, I do think the social dynamics of PWD is very interesting, and also quite complex.

Yesterday I had a very long day in leg braces, which became the starting point of many social interactions with strangers. We went out to lunch, then to an opera, then visiting with a friend, then out to dinner.

The nicest interaction was after the opera. We were slowly crossing the street when another opera patron whizzed by in her motorised wheelchair. She waited to cross the other street and greeted me with a broad inviting grin when we caught up to her. I said “You’re faster than I am”. She said “Did you have polio?”. She’d had polio; we had a nice chat until the lights changed.

All sorts of comments from ABs: “You’re doing very well”; “What did you do?”; “My grandson just got braces”. My favorite was from our friend’s neighbour’s kid: “Why does she have those?” (gotta love kids). I fielded the question even though it was not addressed to me.

This was all in a relatively small town. It was a much more pleasant experience than going to a movie theatre in the big city. There I get stared at as if leg braces mark me as being an alien from another planet. Is there something about small towns, or is there something about movie theatres? I don’t know.

Dante, yes you do all make the ride less bumpy for me. Thank you everyone for that.

By: Sean

Sean — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 07:15:19 +0000

Thanks for sharing that Chloe. It is indeed amazing how similar these experiences can be. We’re all different, yet, there’s so much in common.

As to why you haven’t done this 30 years ago, simple: You weren’t ready. But, just ask Claire, it’s likely to snowball from here ;)

By: Dante

Dante — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 02:46:38 +0000

‘July 6th’ sounds quite similar to a day not too long ago for me. I found myself alone, and in the solitary silence, thinking about myself. I make a poor avenue of support for myself; the person with whom I’m in a relationship with is a great support – and I, too, found myself (hard as a guy to admit this) crying at the lack of her presence, because she made everything seem valid…while I had ignored my own thoughts and haven’t taken time to really accrpt it (BIID), myself.

I had a similar experience comparable to the last part of the ‘July 6th’ as well, except that I experienced it from a ‘native’ standpoint (I’m naturally a paraplegic)…when left to my own thoughts I can feel like I’m all alone as well…

…stairs are certainly bumpy…but you all make it a little more smooth for me by turning it into an escalator, and hope we can collectively do the same for you, Chloe.

By: Claire

Claire — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 00:39:57 +0000

Chloe thank you for that. It’s amazing how we all seem to have the same basic reaction to our first chair. I really admire you for your bravery and honesty telling people up-front about BIID.