transabled.org

 

• About
• Login
• Contact
• Accessibility

Google Search:
Web transabled.org Go

 

Blog > Thoughts > Other's Thoughts > Chloe's Thoughts > A Little Road Trip

A Little Road Trip

Written by Chloe on Saturday, September 12, 2009

I just got back from a road trip. I had not taken one in a year. It wasn’t clear to me ahead of time that I would have anything at all to write about it, since being in a wheelchair feels so normal now. However, there were a few amusing little anecdotes.

I was taking this road trip with a friend I’ve known for thirty years. She knows all about the BIID, and was one of those people who was not at all surprised when I told her about it. Somehow I have left behind a contrail of clues over the decades.

My friend was flying in from another state, so Alicia drove me to the airport and we met her in baggage claim. I had not seen her in more than a year, so my presentation with left leg brace and wheelchair was new to her; but not a surprise. Alicia accompanied us to the rental car place and bid farewell. My first problem was that I had to find a way of stowing my wheelchair in the rental car, that was completely different from what I was used to in my (now wrecked) car or Alicia’s car. All problems have solutions.

We had a 300 mile drive to our destination city, and we were most of the way there when my friend needed to go pee at a rest stop. I thought I’d give it a go too. Now I had to figure out how to put my wheelchair together and transfer, with a completely new stowing configuration. All problems have solutions. A guy stared at me intently throughout the process. It seemed very rude and it annoyed me, but he quickly disappeared by the time I was wheeling in his direction so I didn’t get the opportunity to stare back at him.

While we’re on the subject of peeing, I had at some point explained my peeing situation to my friend during the drive. She asked if I used diapers. I replied that incontinence pads were sufficient. Since we were sharing hotel rooms on the trip we got to hear each other pee quite a bit. I felt amazement that someone could just sit down and immediately start peeing. She was amazed at how infrequently I pee and how long it takes.

I want to elaborate on wheelchair life being normal. It is nonetheless a big deal. The fact that the newness and nervousness of the experience has worn off does nothing to diminish the positive impact on BIID. Quite the reverse indeed. I no longer have those aspects to distract me from the comfort of simply being myself.

We had a meeting with a psychotherapist on day two. I’m not going to explain this. It’s private and has nothing to do with BIID. At the end of our meeting we were discussing an event hosted by the psychotherapist next month, to which we are invited. He made a point of assuring me that he would take care of everything being wheelchair accessible. This was a nice validation because he was clearly seeing me as being permanently disabled, and not likely to be out of the wheelchair next month. The subject of my disability had not come up at all.

On day three we needed to get some stuff at a grocery store. I was starting to assemble my wheelchair when a guy stopped his car, got out, and started walking directly towards me. By the time he had reached me the wheels were on, the chair was upright, and I was about to position it to optimise my transfer from the car seat. I didn’t expect what happened next. Without saying a word, he grabbed the back of the chair and started moving it around in seemingly random directions. I looked up at him and said "It’ll be much easier for me if you let go". He let go, and watched me closely as I finished up and transferred to the chair. Then he said "I can see you’ve done this plenty of times before". I said "Er, yes". What on earth is in these friggin people’s minds that they presumably think it’s helpful to just come up and grab your wheelchair?

The timing of our trip necessitated us staying in a different town on the way back. We took a byway and stopped at sunset. The town had plenty of motels, but my friend went into seven or eight before finding something suitable. She related to me some of the more interesting conversation:

"Do you have any accessible rooms?"
"What do you mean by accessible?"
"Wheelchair accessible."
"Wheelchair accessible? No, nothing like that."

Next one:

"Do you have any accessible rooms?"
"Oh yes. They’re all accessible; you walk right in."

Hmm.

We liked the look of a restaurant diagonally across the street from where we ended up. There were nice curb cuts so it was no problem getting across the street. A few yards from the restaurant entrance I suddenly stopped the chair and said out loud "Oh shit!" There were three big steps up to the doorway. My friend went inside to ask if there was any way that I would be able to get in. There was! She came back with directions to go up a side street past a couple of other businesses, through a yard, and in the back entrance of the kitchen. No problem; and the food was in fact delicious. I had smoked trout and a couple of beers. I contemplated the wheelchair symbol on the restroom door. It seemed a little incongruous with the idea of me being alone, and unable to walk up the stairs to ask if there was any way in without walking up the stairs.

Towards the end of the trip I got the feeling that my friend was getting a little suspicious about the BIID story. If I could really get around without a leg brace or a wheelchair, then how come she never saw me without one or the other even in the privacy of a hotel room? People tend to believe the evidence of their eyes as being more significant than what you tell them.

Tags: Accessible, BIID, Diapers, Disability, Incontinence, Leg Brace, Presentation, Transfer, Wheelchair

Twitter Updates

Follow me on Twitter