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For Tom
Written by Cath on Friday, June 26, 2009
When I was holidaying in France recently I met up with Tom, well known on this blog for his poignant and thoughtful accounts of his struggle with BIID. We had emailed and telephoned a few times in advance so it didn’t feel like a total shot in the dark, nor in the least bit scary.
On the day we were both shy at first, my initial thought something like "My word, another BIID sufferer like me and he’s a living breathing human being" , not just a virtual presence in the internet jungle. The first time I had knowingly met someone like me.
Of course, he’s a real human being. I know this is a silly thing to say, but it illustrates my sense of relief at no longer feeling alone. And he is every bit as delightful as you might expect, educated, sensitive and soft spoken. We talked long into the night, about music and writing and all kinds of things as well as our BIID. He made me feel so welcome and we will certainly keep in touch.
What Tom gave me was the beginning of a sense that is it OK to feel this way. I am not such a monster as I thought I was and neither am I all that peculiar. There was a real connection there. I only wished that my French was less rusty so I could repay him the compliment of his excellent English.
So merci beaucoup, Tom, for a very important moment in my life. You have made me feel more human and less alien after thirty years on my own.
Tags: BIID
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5 Comments
i also hope that we are all able to meet someone like ourselves. me, i’ve got rena… she’s transgender, so it’s not exactly the same, but we’ve talked to each other about how we feel and it was amazing how much it overlapped. it would still be nice to meet someone transabled, though.
Hi Cath & everybody,
I’m glad to be called a human being :))) (I sometimes have doubts about that, really! but that’s on account of depression I think)
My first encounter with another BIID sufferer happened a loooong time ago, in my twenties, and neither he nor I knew we had BIID… the Internet didn’t even exist back then (sounds like we lived in prehistory, funny I don’t feel that old :). But the excitement and the tremendous feelings I experienced at that time, meeting another person like me, are still very vivid, so I think I know what you are talking about. And my first encounter with a female BIID person was … with you! Know what? Before I discovered transabled.org, I had no idea women could feel that way, and I thought my craving for a disability was a gay thing!
Ah, the way life goes…
And, oh, no you are not a monster, I can testify :) I wish you to meet more and more transabled folks face to face over time.
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1 On 26 June, 2009, Chloe said:
It is absolutely wonderful that you two were able to get together. It warms my heart.