transabled.org

Welcome aboard :)

I’m glad you found us, Cath, and I look forward to reading more about you.

Thanks for your support. This site means more to me than I can say.

It is interesting, that there are many “variations” of “transabled-ness”. I myself am an “actual” disabled 50 year-old, with Autism (High-Functioning), that “overlaps” with Asperger’s Syndrome.

I also have “real” total bladder/bowel incontinence, &
the “internal” image I have of myself, is to be a person with not necessarially paralysis, but central neurological problems, necessitating me to someday needing KAFO/HKAFO orthopedic braces to stand & walk.

One can also have a disability, & also have a need to be “more disabled” than one is.

Thomas

I was just wondering if you also likse the idea of someone else having to take care of you. If you were actually paralyzed wouldint someone have to feed/dress/change/clean/move you? Pos change your diapers..Is this part of the appeal?

It depends how far up you’d be paralysed. But no, for me, being taken care of is not part of the appeal.

Me neither. I actually hate being touched to the point where I have wondered whether this is a formative reason for my own BIID. I also need my privacy.
If I had achieved paralysis in my twenties I should have been able to be pretty much independent, I think. The problem as I get older and less flexible and fit is that as C7 I might very well need some personal care and ironically that fills me with dread. Not enough to drown out the BIID though.

@Cath; Maybe it’s that we all suffer from some level or phase of Autism, I recently found out that I do and it answers so many questions about my life including my attraction to wheelchairs and braces.

-Wheelman

@Wheelman i’m about 95% sure i have aspergers because i took a test online that told me i almost certainly had aspergers and then i looked up the symptoms and it would explain so much about me (i’ve told my mom that i think i’m autistic or have aspergers but she won’t hear it. apparently i “like being touched too much”… does tolerating something and squirming away as soon as possible constitute “liking” something?)

I completely agree with you. I have not been tested for Aspergers yet, but am very sure that I have it. Like you I did a good bit of research about it and I see so many trates of it in my life that explains so much. My parents too say, “Whatever” and don’t want to listen.

When I was in the 2nd grade and in public school they were trying to tell my parents that they believed that I had some disorder and they thought it would do me good to be examined, but my parents wouldn’t hear of it and decided that they would just transfer me to a small private school where it never got discovered.

Now, looking back, and now understand why I feel the way I do socially and about people and how they respond to me. I understand why I have low self esteem. And, like you, I HATE being touched! My mother used to never undersrand it. I also explains how I talk on and on and on like this, and why I can’t stand eye contact or other personal communication with people. Also why I am not good at grammer subjects.

The number one thing it explains for me though, is my desire for wheelchairs and braces. What I love about braces the most is the feeling of them pressing firmly and tightly against me, espectually my TLSO. Also the look they have against my skin. As for my wheelchair, It gives me a comfort zone and like of creates a little “world.” I think it also gives me a self esteem value because it makes me feel protected and safe and attractive.

-Wheelman

@wheelman with the school thing, i had the exact opposite problem. my teacher noticed i couldn’t concentrate on anything and my mom took me to a doctor who diagnosed me with ADD and i switched to a different school (it helped a lot) and my mom asked for them to give me some help and they were like “oh no we don’t accept tests from doctors we do our own tests” and then when they DID give me a ‘test’ (two years later) they gave me one for kids with like, downs. so of course i passed with flying colours and they were like “OMG SHE’S A GENIUSSSS” and that was pretty much the end of that.

Well, they said the same thing about me about me being a Genious. They gave me an IQ test and said I had a 128 at the time. But they said that they didn’t think that I was retarded, but that I showed signs of other things, but my parents pulled me out of there before they could get much further.

When I transfered schools the new school was much smaller and had a very strict dicipline policy. It really helped me a lot, but it still left me feeling no understanding or control for my feelings inside, it just helped me control them physically and to learn to pay attention.

-Wheelman

I have been around people who have autism….. and… the person can not concentrate on one subject or know what is going on around them… Yes, many people who autism are extremely intelligent, but the majority can not function well in society. It’s hard to explain.

http://health.yahoo.com/nervous-overview/autism-topic-overview/healthwise–hw152186.html

One of my aunt’s sisters could not function well in society (she had manic depression) and had a high IQ.

When I think of a person who has autism, I think back to a boy named David. This boy was mentally 10. He would hollar in class at inappropriate times. He could not do regular classwork. He could not comprehend class, so he was in a special class.

In my opinion there is no such thing as TMI here. I have also taken that online test for Aspergers, and came out positive. My partner thinks I have it, as do several of my friends.

However, I am VERY social and thrive massively on physical touch. My Asperger-like symptoms seem much better explained by a combination of OCD and the aftermath of severe social anxiety disorder.

@Lane, talking of psych tests, I well remember trying to get assistance for depression, waiting 5 weeks for my first appointment. Which turned out to be me having to answer HUNDREDS of questions. Another 3 or 4 weeks of wait to get the results. Met with the shrink, and she says “you are depressed”……………… Well, d’oh! Took another few weeks for the “real” appointment. This was in Canada. I think overall I’ve not been particularly lucky with mental health services…

I’ve come to realize that when I used to go see a shrink, and I was diagnosed as suffering from “depression” is about the same time my BIID thoughts were at their strongest. A physical ailment effected my mental status, and left more or less disabled, as I could not function normally. They put me on meds, but of course, they didn’t work. My depression stemmed not from a chemical imbalance as they thought, but from knowing that something is PHYSICALLY wrong with me (I still have my leg), and not being able to do anything about it safely.

@Seth I’m pretty sure that a major part of my depression is caused by BIID. I’m not entirely sure that it’s *all* BIID related though. I guess I’ll only know after I become a para (if I become one)…

@Sean: I completely agree. I didn’t mean that BIID is the one and only cause of my depression. There are a lot of factors, but I do think that BIID is one of the larger factors. At least it is for me.

@Lane – you’re not alone. I tick the Bi-polar box as well as BIID. As for Aspies – I score positive for a lot of the traits, but not clincally so :)

Small world eh.

Oh forgot to mention – my IQ score used to be 148. I’ve a feeling it’s gone down more recently though! :(

my mom finally took me seriously when i told her that i had aspergers (apparently completely freaking out and hyperventilating gives you credibility) but she says that when i was younger i loved to be hugged and stuff. but i have no memory of that. she also said that my lack of social skills stems from the fact that i am an only child. i think that’s a bunch of BS because i have a friend (she’s been my friend since i was 8) who is also an only child and she is completely normal. well, she’s emo, but otherwise normal. =/

@Cath I qualified for MENSA when I was a kid. Not that I ever joined. I certainly feel that I am less and less able to access my thinking abilities between meds and depression and BIID.

As for everyone else who says they have Asperger, I would STRONGLY recommend you get formally assessed. A LOT of people have aspie traits, but they probably aren’t. Self-diagnosing something like that is most of the time innacurate, and not useful.

everyone was saying their iq and i remembered that when i was about 13, i took some test that told me my iq was 119 (but i think the test may have been for adults)
i just took a different test and i don’t know how accurate it is (i found it online) but it said my iq is 138. if anyone wants to see it, it’s here http://simple-iq.com/

Online IQ tests are not accurate. In any case, IQ tests are… well, at best only measuring how good you are at answering these kind of tests :) I don’t put much faith in them at all.

Interesting how we went from “coming out” to “asperger” to “IQ tests”… Perhaps we should get back on topic?

If we should all forget about self diagnoses or self study, then maybe we should all stop trying to self diagnose ourselves with BIID or anything else? Not trying to stur anything up, just trying to make a point. If every time we think we have something and we go to the doctor before we check it out ourselves, it would not only cost a fortune, but would cause the medical world to look at us funny and think we were those type of people who always tried to make up stuff in their head.

As for AS, every case of Autism and AS is different…Different ranges, different entencity, different areas, and different levels. When it comes to being touched, some with Autism pull away from being touched, others seak being touched and touching things. It’s all in how the autism plays out in the person. Some people with autism can’t stand noisy places, others run to them and try to vast in the noise of what’s going on.

-Wheelman

O yea, I forgot to mention…April is Autism Awareness Month…as such, maybe it’s good that we are talking about all this :) A tribute to Autism.

If we should all forget about self diagnoses or self study, then maybe we should all stop trying to self diagnose ourselves with BIID or anything else?

There are differences.

First, Asperger is a codified condition which has been studied for a long time and has actual diagnosis criterias attached to it. BIID is not codified, has not been studied very long, and doesn’t *really* have diagnosis criteria. Heck, the majority of the medicos who know about BIID are convinced that it’s only for people who need amputations. So there’s a very real difference there.

Second, there is a big difference between thinking one has several Aspie traits, and declaring that they have Asperger. If you think you might have Asperger and many of the traits fit you, then get confirmation from a specialist. it is to your advantage to do so, even being able to offer you concrete suggestions to handle the unpleasant/distressing aspects of Asperger. It is easier to self-identify having BIID than Asperger, and at the same time the medical community doesn’t have a solution for us. That said, seeking professional assistance with BIID is a good idea anyway, as they might help identify other issues that could be treated/helped that would lighten the BIID load.

I would also venture to say that Asperger is, much like ADHD, I think, a “fashionable” condition to have. Don’t get me wrong, I believe they are very real conditions that can be highly disabling in some cases, but I suspect they are generally blamed for more than they are really doing. Too many people just jump at needing to label their behaviour. A child that doesn’t pay too much attention in class, fidgets, and is disruptive in class suddenly has ADHD. When in fact it could simply be that he’s bored witless by the topic and method of teaching because he’s very intelligent and got the subject matter in a few minutes where the teacher is taking several hours (yes, this is somewhat auto-biographical). Similarly, you may have several Aspie traits that actually have nothing to do with having Asperger. But it is fashionable to have Asperger or ADHD. Somewhat easy labels/conditions to appropriate. And to be able to say you have them may make you more interesting to other people. I know, I’m being controversial here. You may disagree, your mileage may vary. And I’m not saying you have, or don’t have, Asperger. I’m just saying, before jumping to conclusion, go get checked.

I am NOT suggesting you run to your doctor each time you think of something new, like a hypochondriac would do. But if you seriously think you have Asperger because of some online test, then, it might pay to get it confirmed.

Thank-you Sean, you’ve saved me a post. I have worked with folk with real Aspergers. It is VERY different from just having Aspy traits.

Hm. I have nothing to present. No mental particularity. In fact, I have been tested normal (and I never took an IQ test, too boring – and what for should I?).

Interestingly, German researchers of two Universities have not found any real differences between (c. 30) persons with BIID and the average population (in standardized psychological tests).

I really like being touched – depending a bit on who touches me, when and where! ;-) I do enjoy it.

But I don’t desire paralysis, just “only” amputation of both legs high in the thighs.

It would be interesting to see if “asperger’s”, ADHS and all these comparably new and wobbly concepts of mental specialties would vanish after surgery. Has anybody tried out?

I DO have ADD, because I was diagnosed in second grade. My mom claims that my aspie traits come from something else (I can’t remember exactly what she said it was) but it was also why I “have trouble taking notes off of the board”. The thing is, I DON’T have that problem anymore. I can take notes just fine. (Well, with the help of my Alphasmart, but that’s because my hand cramps up after writing for a few minutes and I can type like, infinitely…) so… I dunno. *shrug*

Also, I read somewhere that people with ADD are generally more intelligent than other people. I also get bored and zone out in class because I already understand what the teacher’s talking about and there are some really slow people in my class. I am SO looking forward to next year because I probably get to skip to calculus rather than being stuck in precalc! X3

This is something that I have been doing some study on now for a few weeks and have been thinking about a good bit, yet still the question crosses my mind, “Why should I go to the doc to get a medical diagnosis?” I mean, what good is it really going to do me? I have lived my life now for 23 years in the way that I have and while it has had it’s major reactions that I now understand to be AS, I have made it threw them, learned how to deal with them, and move on. If I were a parent and my child exhibited behavor that caused me to question then most certainly then I could see having him checked out so I could know what to do about helping my child live with his condition, but it being myself…I know how I feel, I know what I think, I know what happens in my head…it does me little good for someone to say, “Yep, you got AS.” It’s just like you said earlier yourself Sean. You went to the doc, answered questions, four weeks later, they said, “Yep, your depressed.” Pretty much the only good side I see to have it medically recognized is that I would have a paper document to show people that I really do have it.

I am not just saying that I have traits that cause me to believe that I have AS. There is actual history in it, I didn’t talk till I was 18 months, my mother took me to the doc for a hearing test because she believed I was deaf. They said I could hear and sent her on her way, about 2 months later I finally started talking, but not by just saying a word here and there…when I started talking, I said actual statements and sentences. Then when my parents became so joyful and excited and ran up to me, I freaked out and wouldn’t speak again for a few more months. When my school years came I couldn’t interact with other kids. I kicked them, hit them, yelled, screamed…I was a complete mess and was labeled a problem kid. My parents just thought that I was acting out and was a bad kid, the school though thought maybe it was something more and wanted to have test done to confirm it. My parents refused, but the school did a few of their own secretly and then strongly suggested to my parents that they have me examined…my parents, espectually my dad, said, “How dare you test our child after we told you not too…your dead wrong.” And then proceeded to remove me from their school and place me into a private school setting.

I never really had friends, I had kids that wanted to come play with me and I would play with them, but I was never really able to interact with them or play with them. When I got older and started having teenage friends, I couldn’t understand their point of view or their thoughts, and I didn’t really care about their lives…I was more concerned with my own thoughts and ideas and I wanted my opinion to be heard, accepted, and implemented…when others would explain their opinion to me, I simply couldn’t understand it, even when I tried it was as if the dots just didn’t make since.

One thing that has always outlined my life, I have never ever taken change well, from the time I was young till today. I am very repetitious in the way I do things. Everyday I walk in the house, I put my keys on my dresser, then I check my computer, then I take a shower, then I make dinner and eat…if anything disrupts my routine it bothers me tremendously. My mother said I used to have the biggest problems with new cloths and shoes when I was younger, and when anything was changed in how things were done around the home. My mother used to always comment on how I hated being touched or held, I can remember growing up that my mother used to try and grab me and hug me, when she did I used to always pitch a fit and do everything to squirm away and get away from her. I hated the feeling of anyone touching me, espectually wrapping their arms around me. The feeling of a kiss was too wet and cold, and I hated that too, I would wipe them off my skin as if they burned as soon as someone kissed me.

I am also very easily attached and addicted to certain things and subjects. It’s actually part of the reason that I have the job that I do. From the time I was 2 I had a love for trains, everything I wanted in life had to do with trains. As I got older my dad helped me build a model railroad in our basement. For years I would sit down there and play with my trains and study everything about them. Finally, I outgrew that phase in my life and turned to Air Conditioning and with it computers. My Dad had done Air Conditioning since his early 20s and because of that and him involving me around it, I had a strong interest in it as well. He began teaching me about it and giving me technical manuals on the subjects to read and learn. At the time that I was being taught, dad was in a transition state in his career where he went from the mechanical side of heating and air to the control side of heating air using computerized control systems. With this, he also taught me the control system and gave me manuals on it. For years I studied these manuals over and over and over, reading them from cover to cover. I began drawing diagrams of systems and building small systems in our basement from scrap. To this day, I work in the field I work in because of my “addictive” cling to the subject. In my time off, I don’t sit back, take things easy, or anything like that…There has been many a weekend spent drawing up systems that will never be build, used, or other wise studied. Manuals read, information processed, that I probably will never use in my life. To me, the job that I do everyday is not work…it is enjoyment and fun because of my level of knowledge and care and how I feel about the subject.

I am not saying that I have a full blown level of Autism or AS, what I am saying is that I do believe that looking back on my life, I most definitely show a lot of symptoms and it makes a lot of since in my life. I am still studying it and doing my research and writing a good bit about it in my journal as I do, but I am by no means done yet and am not ready yet to move fully forward in telling others that I have it for sure. I have plans to talk to my mother about it in the future, I think now for a while she has thought that maybe I had some condition such as AS that caused me to act the way I did growing up, and sitting down and discussing it with her, her having a better history of my life growing up, I think I will be better able to determine where I stand for sure.

@tora: I too used to just sit threw Math classes, Math was my best and absolute fravorite subject. Everything that was handed to me to learn, I learned it in 10% of the time it took everyone else. In public school, i used to skip classes and take higher level math classes than normal…when I went to private school, I didn’t have that option and just had to sit threw classes. At times, I even had to explain to our teacher how problems were solved when she didn’t understand them, it was rare, but being that our math teacher was a air head, it did happen from time to time.

BTW, I loved Calcuous the best, so…your going to love it too ;)

@Wheelman. I am sorry you’ve had these issues. You did not need to justify yourself that way. And having a piece of paper that says you have a specific condition can be rather helpful. What happens when you have to find a job at someone else’s company’s than your dad’s? Don’t answer that, I don’t need an answer, it’s for you to consider.

@Wheelman I actually wouldn’t MIND just sitting through the classes except I still have to take notes in order to get a decent grade. =(

I don’t mind talking about or being open about my life. I did feel as though I was kind of forced into justify myself here, but I don’t mind so much, I mean…we were talking about this and everything. As for the future and the what ifs…yes that has been something that I have thought about for a while and that is talked about at times at work even…I have had two other jobs in the past besides working for my father…in both of them I enjoyed the work but had problems getting along with my employer and following their instructions and request as they asked. I don’t know what the future holds for me, but when it comes, I am sure I will face it when it gets here and something somehow will work out for me.

-Wheelman